Donkey Kong Jr. is the sequel to Donkey Kong, but this time you play as the monkey. Help Junior rescue his father from Mario, in the only game featuring the beloved Nintendo icon in a villainous role.
Best time: 0:01:28 by Ray 'Croc-Doc' Cullen on 2009-08-21.
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"I'll handle this, my son ... Mario, I have given you back that which is yours. I wish it never came to this, but I refuse to apologize for my actions. I strongly believe that two wrongs don't make a right, but I also believe that some situations call for desperate measures. Hopefully, you now understand why I took Pauline away from you. I wanted you to see the error of your ways. I do not deserve to be kept in captivity. I am an intelligent creature, one with a son, and you've kept me from him long enough. I am not your pet. Do you understand? It is time to let me go. I realize how fascinating I am to you, and that the rest of your species could learn a lot from me, so I'd like to extend an olive branch. I'll let you study me - my behavior, my habitat, whatever you please - but only on my terms. No longer will I be kept caged and abused. But I forgive you for that, as I hope you will forgive me for my transgression. Let us both move forward towards a peaceful coexistence. What say you, Mario? Do you agree?"
*ZAP! ZAP! ZAAAAP!
"DAAA - Huh, what?! Where ...?"
Sigh. Another nightmare. The same one I've been having every night since Mario took him away from me. Again. Six days have passed - almost a week. Six days might not sound like that long of a time, but to me, it feels like he's been gone for years. How could he do this? How could he kidnap my father? He's all I have; I never knew my mom, and I don't know of any other family nearby. With him now gone ... I've begun to notice how slowly time passes - that every hour has 60 minutes, and that every minute has 60 seconds. And with every single second that passes, my heart and mind are consumed with nothing more than revenge.
Well, there's no use going back to sleep now. I suppose now is as good a time as any to start my training, but man, am I still sore from yesterday. So many vines I climbed - two-handed, one-handed, two-footed, one-footed; my palms are painfully calloused. Every drop of sweat that spills into their cracks stings worse than a nest of wasps, the physical pain amplified by the memories it invokes of what I have lost. But I must press on, for there is no rest for the weary and no hope for the wicked.
And so I begin anew.
"I try to be the best 'cause I'm only an ape, and an ape's got to learn to take it. I try to believe though the going gets rough that I got to hang tough to make it. History repeats itself. Try and I'll succeed. I never doubt that I'm the one, and I can have my dreams. I'm the best! Around! Mario's never going to keep me down. I'm the best! Around! Mario's never going to keep me down. I'm the best! Around! Mario's never going to keep me dow-ow-ow-ow-own!!!"
Tonight's the night, Mario. I am ready. Enjoy this day, for it will be your last. Nothing can stop me from exacting my revenge. "You hear me, Mario?! I'm coming to get you, and I will make you suffer! Oh yes! You'll be begging for mercy before I lay one hand on you! Hahahahahahahaha!!!
"Oh! Long tall Sally, she built sweet. She got everything, that Uncle John need. I'm gonna have me some fun, I'm gonna have me some fun, I'm gonna have me some fun ..."
Mario's lair is farther than I anticipated. I waited until sunset to make the journey, although it still feels exceptionally hot. But perhaps it is not the jungle heat that is making me sweat, but the rage pulsing through my veins. Rage ... and excitement. Only a few more -
"Let me go, Mario! LET ME GO!!!"
Dad?! Where ... hmm, there he is, up above, past the vines. Interesting spot for him to be in. I wonder what game you're playing, Mario. Whatever, it is time to strike. I'll just sneak up these vines ...
Shoot! He heard me. Blasted twig ruined the element of surprise.
"Son, is that you?!"
"Yes, Dad, I'm coming to save you!"
"No, turn back! It's too dangerous!"
Adrenaline coursing through me, like gasoline through an engine, I pull myself up the vines. I am a machine. I'm slightly surprised Mario was able to tame the snapjaws, but I show no fear. I move laterally through the vines, inches above one of the creatures, his scaly skin tickling my feet. Two vines when going up, one when going down. My hands and feet are exactly where they need to be; not a second is wasted. Where the vines are too far apart, I slide down and jump across the terrain in the water below. Then I don't hesitate to make my way back up, until I am face-to-face with my nemesis. I run and jump over another snapjaw as I clench my fist and get ready to attack Mario from above. I grab the key to open the cage and -
What just happened? I was moments away from putting this all to rest, but now I'm back several yards below them. And my surroundings are different too. Where there were snapjaws, now there are nitpickers. What sorcery is this? No matter. I'll just climb again, and I'll keep climbing until I've reached my goal.
I start my ascent again by jumping onto a nearby spring. It propels me through the humid night air onto a moving platform above. From there, I jump and grab hold of a moving chain and wait as it carries me to more chains. The nitpickers rain eggs down on me to no avail. In these few moments of immobility, I shoot Mario a death glare. He returns it. The silence between us speaks volumes.
I grab onto the stationary chains and scurry across, knocking over a couple of pears in the process. They fall into the void below. I don't look down, for I am focused on one thing. Within seconds, I'm once again on the same platform as Mario. He sends one last nitpicker my way. I easily avoid it. This time, Mario is not getting awa-
What? Come on, not again! Are we teleporting? How is this possible? I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and survey my surroundings. We appear to be inside now. I hear electricity crackling around me, electricity that ... Mario is creating and controlling?! Red and blue sparks aggressively traverse the area, while Mario creates more to send my way. I use my Battle Bib to wipe the sweat off my brow. Then I climb. I jump between two sparks and feel every hair on my body stand up. A few get singed. I ignore the pain. I pump my legs and climb some more. I punch an apple out of the air and let out a scream. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" I swear I see Mario take a step back. He knows the end is near. More running and climbing and jumping until I am inches away from him. His eyes widen.
"There is no more esca- "
Sigh. Where are we now? Still inside, it appears. This time though, something is different. I don't know what it is, but I can sense that this is the last area. Six keys are dangling from the chains above, each one ready to be placed into a lock that will open my father's cage. Snapjaws and nitpickers have me in their sights, but I pay them no mind. I quickly put each key into its corresponding lock, as my father, the mighty Donkey Kong, grabs the bars imprisoning him and shakes them loose, yelling, "You wired me awake and hit me with a hand of broken nails! You tied my lead and pulled my chain to watch my blood begin to boil!"
And just like that, the two of them tumble down. I brace myself and catch my father so he doesn't crash into the ground below. Mario doesn't get the same courtesy. As we walk out together, I look over my shoulder at the listless body lying nearby. I don't feel sympathy, just pity. I'm relieved it's finally over. Before I can say a word, my dad puts me on his shoulders in one quick swoop. Happiness creeps back through me, as we head back home.
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