That was terrible. I will never do that again.

Beginning this massive update is Metro 2033. Set in post apocalyptic Russia you play as Artyom as he tries to save his home from monsters and the 'Dark Ones'. While you can read the book that this game is based off, it will be faster to watch Zach 'Duane Jones' R beat the game on the DLC's hardest difficulty, Ranger Hardcore, in 2:30:44, 38 segments.

Square Enix's Nier is a spin-off from the Drakengard series, following a certain ending from the first game. In it you play as the titular character in an attempt to save his daughter's life from a terminal disease, and understand the creatures that stalk the world. Eric 'Omnigamer' Koziel runs through the game in 3:15:11, Single Segment on Easy difficulty, achieving the A Ending.

Assassin's Creed is a great series with a minor slip up recently, which heavily focuses on stealth, reconnaissance, assassinations and figuring out some conspiracies that may involve the Uyamanati. Francois 'Fed981' Federspiel continues running the series and produced yet another fantastic speedrun. Coming back to Assassin's Creed 2 he sent us a run for 100% (memory synchronization) in New Game Plus, with DLC, using 157 segments in 7:09:51. For those wondering, the run is in English instead of French this time around.

I've long awaited for a RTS from Westwood Studios to appear on the front page, and today Dune 2000 makes it through. Emperor Frederick Corrino IV challenged the three Houses to harvest spice from the desert planet Dune, with the house that harvests the most will become the planet's sole controller. Runner 'Shaokhan' is super dedicated to this game as not only does he speedrun the campaign of every House on both Easy and Hard modes, he also plays both map choices that most levels offer. These choices make the level easier or harder as each one has a completely different map layout! All together, the total time is 13:33:08. The breakdown is as follows:

• House Atreides, Easy difficulty in 1:32:50
• House Harkonnen, Easy difficulty in 1:30:28
• House Ordos, Easy difficulty in 1:52:27
• House Atreides, Hard difficulty in 2:48:23
• House Harkonnen, Hard difficulty in 2:54:03
• House Ordos, Hard difficulty in 2:54:57

As today's runs altogether are more than 26:30 hours, having an update this coming Wednesday feels wrong. As such the next one will happen next Saturday. Have a nice week everybody!

... but you might see an update from someone else ;)

Mr. President! You have a game about you called Metal Wolf Chaos. Mr President, it's very patriotic. Mr. President, in it you play as yourself inside a giant robot. Mr. President, people LOVE robots. Mr. President, you need to save the United States from a coup d'état started by your Vice President, Richard Hawk. Mr. President, why was this game only released in Japan? Mr. President, you also fight in space! Mr. President, can I call you Sean 'MURPHAGATOR!' Murphy? Mr. President, you liberated the wonderful United States in 0:40:12. Mr. President, that was in Single Segment as well. Mr. President, this update stopped being funny with all these bad Mr. President jokes. Oh Mr. President, you're so Presidential.

Coming to an accursed flame gem near you.

I won't linger any longer, and head straight into Valkyrie Profile. The game is based on Norse mythology, lots of different ways to see people die (not just on YouTube) and a plot I cannot claim to comprehend. Nonetheless we have today two runs from Josh 'funkdoc' Ballard, the first is a Single Segment B Ending on Easy difficulty, clocking at 0:52:20, a 3:33 minutes improvement. The second one is the A Ending done in 2:27:47, also in Single Segment, and is an 8:17 minutes improvement.

Mega Man X2 has a much easier to understand plot; blow up X-Hunters, collect Zero's body parts, fight off Sigma and save the world until the next money-milking sequel which any lawyer will be happy to represent. Tyler 'Trogdor' Sykes improves his previous run from just half a year ago by 27 seconds, clocking in at 0:33:23, Single Segment.

Even easier plots you say? How about Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, where you punch your way to become the next world boxing champion. Can't be easier. Actually such easy plots are boring in attorney-speak so I will have to spice things up. 'sinister1' carelessly pummels unsuspecting fellow contestants with inferior hairdos and chic to become the supreme serial-basher in 0:16:27.54, Single Segment, a 6.32 tick amelioration over his previous reign of terror from last March.

On a side note a recent discussion had sparked in the forums with regards to SDA's future, in particular many people have suggested ideas that can help SDA moving forwards and discussions are under way. The staff are checking the thread and taking on board ideas, and you too can suggest! Visit the topic here.

Oh hi! How was your New Year's? I was at the hospital. You remember? After my accident? No? Hangover you say? Guess you're in no better shape than I am.

Nonetheless we are in better shape than those in Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne. Drugs, guns and more depressed people than those in your local bar are what you'll find in this noir-styled game. Daniel 'gtaaa175PL' Strumpf resurfaces to beat another level from the NYM mode, this time the finale of the game, Woden's Manor cont'd (3-8), 18.52 seconds faster: 0:00:50.03.

It's hard not to be excited when 'gammadragon' pops in with a new speedrun, and today is no different. Might and Magic IV: Clouds of Xeen is the first of a two-part series that sees a new set of adventurers travel to the land of Xeen and defeat Lord Xeen who is wrecking havoc. 'gammadragon' does a very quick job (look at his typing speed!) to dispose of Lord Xeen in 0:08:32, Single Segment on the Warrior difficulty.

After the long gruesome battle between you and the enemy, lots of dead bodies, pools of blood and empty guns are left behind. In Viscera Cleanup Detail you are the janitor who has to clean up said mess because nobody else is going to do this. The actual game is still in Early Access, but we do have runs for two additional spin-off titles that came from it. VCD: Santa's Rampage sees you cleaning up after Santa got more guns than in any Max Payne games, and went ballistic in his workshop. Christian 'ShadowDraft' Moll doesn't clean up anything except what the in-game monitor checks for and finishes this game in a mere 0:00:54. In VCD: Shadow Warrior we see the aftermath of Lo Wang's katana battle in the Collector's Temple, and 'ShadowDraft' again ignores his ACTUAL JOB he was PAID to do and instead picks up the scattered 2 million dollars in 0:01:59.

As the curtain closes on this chapter of AGDQ, I find myself wondering just how much bigger these events will get. I'm pretty sure we're going to hit a critical mass of awesome sometime in the next year or two if things keep up. I was amazed last year when we broke the big 1 mill, but crushing that by over 50% and raising over 1.5 million dollars for charity? Damn. Mad props to Games Done Quick, SpeedrunsLive, the Prevent Cancer Foundation, and every speedrunner, organiser, sponsor, volunteer, donator and viewer that made this incredible event happen. You guys are every bit as awesome as AGDQ's name implies.

But that's enough sentimentality outta me. If you were unlucky, unfortunate or busy enough to miss out on some of the amazing speedruns from the event, High Quality run videos from the marathon are making their way on to the Games Done Quick youtube channel, so now's chance to get caught up! So do it.

Until next time.