Donkey Kong is truly an unstoppable monster in this game. I decided I had to keep improving this run until I hit the human limit for Primate destruction. Bottom line, the Gorilla Wrecking Ball is open for business. This run is truly worthy of the Kong legacy.

Violence unmatched anywhere -

• Link - Created a new game plan here. When executed correctly, this pattern has a higher success rate of Link not doing his third jump

• Yoshi Team - Well done this time. My minimum standard is less than 19 seconds.

• Fox - Another new plan of attack. If it looks stiff, it's because it is. At first, it's kind of awkward to pull off. It almost looks like it won't work.

• Break the Targets - Meh.

• Mario Bros - Third new attack pattern. Another suggestion by UltimateDarius. It's better because it gets me on top sooner. In the No Death run, I can't use it, because I need more control in Luigi placement. The problem though, is you can accidentally knock Luigi away, like here. Luckily, Yoshi was doing exactly what I want, nothing. So I just took Luigi off the opposite side.

• Pikachu - Rerun

• Giant DK - Flawless victory. More, great ally cooperation. Please do nothing and stay out of my way.

• Board the Platforms - Business as usual

• Kirby Team - I think this round would make even the TAS community give a standing ovation

• Samus - You can never fully cooperate, can you woman? I get blasted and barely flinch, I love Donkey Kong for that. The rest is smooth.

• Metal Mario - Perfection

• Race to the Finish - Even in polygon form, Samus can't leave me alone.

• Polygon Team - Some early trouble here. For some reason, a handful were dying off the top of the screen. At least the others didn't resist much. Average time.

• Master Hand - Some tough back and forth. I refused to have another great run ended by a bad final round. I had to resist looking at the in-game clock. I just kept pounding him.

Now, I tally the round times manually as I progress. My new strategy is I take my goal time in seconds and subtract, instead of adding. That way, I know what I have left to work with after each fight. I had a chunk of time to spare after finishing and couldn't believe it. I had to watch it immediately to verify it. I was in complete astonishment that I achieved 3:01. I was shooting for sub 3:09. If it wasn't after two in the morning, I would have celebrated more.

I am now one with Donkey Kong.

Announcer: We have a great match up for you tonight folks. The challenger, leaving a trail of death and destruction in his wake, Donkey Kong!

Announcer: First round vs Link
DK: Let's have a good fight
Link: I'm going to do you like I did your Candy Kong
DK: What?!
Link: You heard me furball
DK: You realize I now have to shove your shield up your ass right?
Link: Huh?
Announcer: Go!
Link: Wait, hold on a sec
Announcer: DK grabs, throws, throws again
Link: Wait DK, I was kidding, DK, DK nooo
DK: Smash your face
Announcer: DK delivers the double axe handle. That's gotta hurt, it's all over

Announcer: Next round vs Yoshi Team
DK: Too many colors. Must crush
Announcer: Go! DK comes out with the copter-o-death
DK: *spinning*
Yoshi: Waaahh!
Yoshi: Waaahh!
DK: *still spinning*
Yoshi: Waaahh!
Yoshi: Waaahh!
Yoshi: Waaahh!
Announcer: Finish. And the Yoshis are extinct

Announcer: Into space vs Fox
Fox: Now DK, are you sure you want to fight? I am a greatly feared, highly decorated pilot.
DK: ???
Fox: I remember this one time, I was...
Announcer: Go!
Fox: How rude. Don't interrupt me. Anyway, as I was saying...
DK: Silence
Announcer: And DK throws Fox off the ship by his hair
Fox: Ow, stop it
DK: Put my feet in your chest cavity
Announcer: Pain everywhere
DK: Again
Announcer: Fox is down. Somebody better send Slippy out to recover him

Announcer: Okay DK, this is a bonus stage
DK: Okay
Announcer: Break the targets
DK: No problem
Announcer: Get them all
DK: Easy
Announcer: Go! Wait DK, you missed a...you need to...ummm

Announcer: Next round vs Mario Bros
DK: Ness, you ready?
Ness: Okay
DK: This is THE Mario Bros, no joke
Ness: I am the boy wonder, watch me destroy
Announcer: Go!
DK: Grab the plumbers. Smash
Announcer: Mario goes down fast
Mario: Oh no. I a-suck
DK: Ness? I guess I'll get Luigi too
Ness: Ooh! A quarter
Announcer: DK bounces Luigi, into the Meteor Smash. Lights out in the Mushroom Kingdom
Ness: PK thunder
Bumper: Ding!
Announcer: Uh, we're finished here Ness
Ness: PK fire

Announcer: Into Saffron vs Pikachu, the master of electricity
Pikachu: Pika, pika
DK: I'm going to rip your heart out through your throat, you little, yellow rat
Pikachu: Pika?
Announcer: DK grabs hold, drops
Pikachu: Pik-ow
Announcer: I think Pikachu forgot to flip the switch on

Announcer: In the jungle, the mighty jungle vs Giant Donkey Kong
DK: Okay, I need you both to stay back and let me do this. Okay Samus?
Samus: Wrnkt
DK: Exactly. Ness?
Ness: Okay
Samus: Crmp Brniyt
DK: No, I don't think that would work, but good thinking
Samus:: Glmdt Wrsth
DK: Hell yeah girl. After the fight
Announcer: Go!
Ness: Attack!
DK: Ness, no. Idiot.
Announcer: DK drops Giant DK. Great un-team work by Ness
DK: You're coming to hell with me
Announcer: It's an epic mid-air struggle. It's too violent to show. Oh my god. Send in the meat wagon

Announcer: DK, another bonus stage, okay?
DK: Got it
Announcer: Board the platforms, all of them
DK: Crystal clear
Announcer: Go! Wait DK...you passed a couple..you...Dk...D...nevermind

Announcer: Next round vs Kirby Team
DK: How adorable, hey, can I get a hat?
Announcer: Go!
DK: Wait a minute
Kirby: Aaahh!
Kirby: Ow!
DK: You guys don't get it
Kirby: Ugh!
DK: Don't you understand?
Kirby: Noooo!
Kirby: Uncle, uncle
Kirby: Mercy
DK: Identity theft is a serious problem in today's world
Announcer: Gameset

Announcer: Down into the depths vs Samus
Samus: ......
DK: Look, I was going to call you back, honest
Announcer: Go!
Samus: *charging*
DK: Oh crap *winding*
Announcer: DK throws. Samus returns with the flame thrower
DK: Calm down
Announcer: Samus is punching DK in the face! He hasn't taken a beating like this the whole tournament
DK: That does it
Announcer: DK jumps to meet Samus in the air. Wind up punch for the win!
DK: Gotta keep my pimp hand strong

Announcer: Quarter final vs Metal Mario
DK: Put on some weight?
Announcer: Go! DK grabs, flys, murders. Hope you didn't blink

Announcer: Final bonus stage DK
DK: What is it?
Announcer: Just run to the end
DK: I don't get it
Announcer: Go!
Polygon Luigi: ULTRAAAAAA COMMMBOOOOOOOO
Announcer: DK is too fast for Polygon Captain Flacon. Around the bumpers
DK: Take this you fool
Announcer: Drop kick off the top rope to Polygon Link and DK actually finishes a bonus round!

Announcer: Next round vs Fighting Polygon Team
DK: An epic battle will commence here. I, the lone warrior, versus thirty. I must vanquish them all
Announcer: Are you ready yet?
DK: Oh, right. SMASH!
Announcer: Go!
DK: Destruct-o-chopper
Announcer: Sweet merciful crap!
DK: Everybody dies
Announcer: It's like nothing I've ever seen. There's just ass and polygon flying everywhere
DK: Oh yeah, like grinding meat
Announcer: And it's a new world record

Announcer: Final round vs Master Hand
Master Hand: Bwa hah hah hah ha
DK: What are you laughing at? No, how are you laughing? You have no mouth
Announcer: Go!
DK: I'm going to tear you apart
Announcer: DK punches, Master Hand punches back. It's Master Hand flying in with the finger
DK: Hey! It's rude to point
Announcer: DK is giving Master Hand a brutal round of applause
DK: I am going to finish this now
Announcer: DK jumping in for the combo
*Dramatic moment*
Announcer: Unbelievable! DK just punched the poor bastard right in the wrist. DK just stood there and watched him die

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. Your winner and NEWWWW, HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE SMASH - DONKEY KONG!

Announcer: Incredible!