Before I start rambling, I need to thank some people.

• Joe Stanski - He didn't just play the game when I told him to, he gave me a ton of good strategies and tips which helped me plan my run, even if he is illiterate (I love you too Stanski).
• The people on #sda who bothered to play the game after I bugged them around 50 times.

Hey everyone, I still run games! And like always, I have an IFAQ for everyone to read.

Q: IFAQ?

A: InFrequently Asked Questions. I was talking to kareshi one day (the Ghosts 'n Goblins runner) and he said he loved the FAQs that come along with my comments, even though no one asks those questions. He then went on to call them IFAQs. I figured he had a good point, so I decided to rename my FAQs to something more fitting.

Q: Why run such an obscure game? You usually run well-known games.

A: Because this game is a lot of fun. Seriously, if you like beat 'em ups, you should try this game. With the exception of Themyscira 2, this game is a lot of fun, and has unique moves that haven't been seen in previous beat 'em ups, like the seeking.

Q: How are you pulling off such big combos?

A: The designers let you dodge attacks during a combo by tapping back. However, the designers didn't realize you could perform infinites by tapping forward aftwards, wailing on the B button, then tapping back again, repeat.

Q: Why do you miss so many punches?

A: This game has very finicky hit detection when it comes to punching enemies. You need to be almost perfectly lined up with an enemy to hit, which is why seeking is very useful.

Q: Why are you running along edges so often?

A: A lot of battle triggers are activated when you're in the middle of the screen. You can avoid a lot of battles by running along the edges.

Q: Why do you sometimes run around the screen like a moron (this is most noticeable at the end of Metropolis 1)?

A: Because it enables something I call the wiggle skip. First off, you need to be in a screen where the enemies don't appear unless if you get too close. You start running around in small circles, and eventually, the screen should scroll a little and you can pass by without fighting.

Q: Why do you sometimes hit enemies who are off screen a couple of times, then move on?

A: Because hitting enemies off screen sometimes lets you skip battles, but it's very inconsistent. This is why you will occasionally see me trying to progress, but failing.

Q: Why did you almost always use your assists in the order of Superman, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, then Green Arrow (note, I never used Black Canary in my run)?

A: Because that's the order from fastest to slowest. I used frame advance on VBA to test this. Wonder Woman can be slower than Green Arrow if she uses her combo attack, but I got lucky in my run and she only used it once.

Q: Why did you use your assists at the end of 1-2?

A: The Superman assist let me skip the two red robots, while the Martian Manhunter assist let me end the stage early (notice how the gorillas are trying to rape me).

Q: Why didn't you dodge most of Killer Frost's attacks?

A: Because dodging takes longer than getting hit.

Q: Is Metropolis 1 supposed to be that short?

A: No, but it's a great example of how broken the game is.

Q: I don't understand what you're trying to do during the Brainiac battle (yes, I'm aware this technically isn't a question!).

A: I'm not sure I understand either, it was that bad.

Q: Why didn't you restart during the Brainiac battle?

A: My luck throughout the rest of the run was very good, and it's improbable to get lucky on all of the random elements in this game.

Level comments:

• Keystone City:
  Honestly, both stages were nearly flawless. I even managed to pull off all of the skips in Keystone 2.

• Gorilla Grodd:
  I fucked up a bit in the beginning, getting hit twice by his punches, but I manage to kill him before he does any time consuming attacks.

• Gotham City 1:
  A red shirt slows me down when I'm in front of the cinema, not much else to mention.

• Gotham City 2:
  I get hit by some of the flaming bots, but that deactivates their flames (if they're moving)

• Killer Frost:
  Nothing went wrong in this battle. When she activated her ice ring I smashed her with the infinite.

• Themyscira 1:
  For some reason the game thinks it's funny when I whiff trying to seek to enemies. Also, near the end I didn't know I could get hurt whirlwind attacking the flaming bots.

• Themyscira 2:
  This level is painful, not just your typical painful, but "Oh no I dropped the soap, now let me bend over and pick it up" painful. This stage is easily difficult enough to be the last stage.

  With that being said, I got stupid luck with assists during this stage, and even managed to skip part of the waterfall battle I have never skipped before. Even though I almost died near the end, this is the fastest I have ever completed this stage.

• Circe:
  This is a combination of being lucky and unlucky. I was lucky because Circe decided to surround herself with yellow orbs, which lets me beat the crap out of her before she can summon guards or fling statues around.

  The unlucky part was that it took four repetitions before Circe surrounded herself with yellow orbs. She will sometimes surround herself after two repetitions. However, I was somewhat lucky because she flung white orbs during two of those repetitions, and the white orbs are much faster than her default attack of yellow orbs.

• Sunken City 1:
  I run around like an idiot at the first screen because there are usually more slime monsters to fight.

  Yes, I have to activate flash speed (the slowdown technique) to skip the second fight, don't ask me why.

  This stage was quite well done, except I didn't know you could skip the final fight by activating flash speed and going below the fight area. Stanski says this cost me about 8 seconds.

• Sunken City 2:
  Don't ask me why I suddenly switch between the cylindrical bots at the first screen. I would have done better if I just finished them off one by one (and I wouldn't have been shocked like an idiot).

  There's a partial skip you can pull off on the second forced fight, but the enemies need to remain off screen.

  Yes, it was stupid of me to jump kick that one robot into the third forced fight.

• Zoom 1:
  There isn't anything I can do to make this go faster. Fun little fact, this is the least damage I've ever taken during this level.

• Zoom 2:
  Embarrassingly bad, it's like I forgot how to play the game here.

• Zoom 3:
  Nearly flawless, Zoom wouldn't have blocked my punch if I activated flash speed earlier.

• Metropolis 1:
  Perfect! You get to see how broken the game is here.

• Metropolis 2:
  I shouldn't have collected the heart, but I was worried I was going to die. It only cost a second anyways. The stage went well other than that. In the beginning I managed to pull off some skips that require luck (enemies staying off screen).

• Entering Brainiac's fortress:
  Stupid hentai tentacle rape monster. Had to hit me :(

• Brainiac:
  This battle is retarded random. Sometimes Brainiac will be very cooperative and do nothing but stand there for your convenience as you wail on him. Sadly, this was not one of those times. He decides to teleport not once, but twice, costing me at least 10 seconds. Every time he teleports I have to destroy another pillar. If I don't destroy a pillar, Brainiac will turn momentarily invincible and shoot a sonic wave that takes off almost all of your life. I think I did an ok job handling the battle, though my punching could have been a lot faster.

So there it is, my first run in six months. Don't worry, I haven't retired yet, but making sure everyone else's runs get posted is a wee bit time consuming.

If you're wondering what I'm going to run next. I'm currently trying to improve my Contra III run. Then I would like to do a Sunset Riders run, and finally run the speedrun equivalent of Duke Nukem Forever (hint: it has a 2 in its name). If I get too lazy to run "the game" (which will probably happen in two weeks), then I'll work on Metal Slug 1 and X (PS2 anthology).

-Mike "I only do random beat 'em ups and platforming shooters" Uyama