You see, I know how hard he worked on his Easy 100% of The Dismal Oubliette which he posted in the last update, and I had promised him that I'd do the update when he finally finished it because, let's face it, posting your own demo is a bit like wanking over your partner's back while they're asleep and sticking the sheets to them: you're quite proud of having done it but you feel a bit silly telling everyone about it yourself. It's far better if you tell someone else and then they tell everyone else the story.

Sorry, dude. I fucked up. Not being able to use my PC is no excuse for not telling everyone about you wanking over Jozsef. :-)

Our first demos of the night are from Timo Nieminen who has made TWO Id improvements. Sadly, these could be the last demos we see from Timo for quite a while as he is off to the army soon. Take care, Bud, and have a great time shooting people for real!

• He improved his own Easy 100% of The Tower Of Despair by one second to 1:03. This demo is part of the Qd100Qlite2 project but he thought he might as well release it now so you can all tell him how good he is before he goes away.
• He then did the Easy 100% marathon of The Realm Of Black Magic in the staggering time of 11:20, forty seconds faster than Marlo and only seven seconds slower than Qd100Qlite, which if you consider that his e2m6 was more than 20 seconds slower shows you just how good the running on the other six levels is. Of particular note is the e2m2 route which is worth the download on it's own. :-)

We now move on to SDA's very own "fist of death", Thomas Bergendorff.

• He has continued to work on the popular ikspq1, this time taking the Nightmare 100% from young Fleck with this 1:47, nine seconds faster.
• He then took both runs on the twisty, turny, bluey ikspq4. Just check out the difference in time between Easy and Nightmare skill. None of that "same as the Easy Run" shit here!
  • He motored through the Easy Run without breaking a sweat in 0:57, four seconds faster than Carl.
  • He then took twelve seconds off of Justin's much more difficult Nightmare Run to get the time down to 2:05.

Next, a moral lesson for you all. A few weeks ago, after capturing the Easy 100% of mexx8b from Justin, Lowdis found that the Nightmare 100% was just too tough so he called on Thomas Stubgaard, the undisputed NH master, for help. At first he declined: after all, there are still a few Id records he hasn't taken yet. But after a few days of pestering he finally agreed and produced this outstanding 2:57, nine seconds faster than Optic. An excellent demo, in my humble opinion. So where's the moral? Well, since he had the measure of the map Stubby decided he might as well piss on Bergie's Easy 100% record as well, so he quickly knocked out this 2:26, fourteen seconds faster. So let that be a lesson to you all: If you ask the devil for help, before you know it he'll be drinking champagne out of the crack of your arse.

Our final demo of the evening goes back to the point I was making at the start of this update, because it's by Me. In fact, forget wanking on your partner, posting your own demo is a bit like sneaking into your Mother's bedroom while she's asleep and shitting on her face so when she wakes up and looks in the mirror she thinks she's grown a big brown moustache in the night. So I shall say nothing about the demo except I've wanted to own this record for over three years now and unfortunately it stinks worse than your Mother's facial hair. It's the Nightmare 100% of rdend in 3:58, one lousy second faster than DanielL.

In other news, if you haven't done so already head on over to Ill Mind Moves and grab the QrdQ Speech Add-On which, in a nice twist, see's Ingmar getting some squeaky little girl to speak all the text from QrdQ to turn the movie version into (and I quote...) "a damn hot piece of Quake-machinima and -gameplay". Shit-hot stuff!

And speaking about damn hot pieces of Quake-machinima I'm sorry to say that (obviously) The Dimension Of The Gibbed has been slightly delayed. This was mostly due to me spending so many hours trying to get it looking the best it could that my wife threatened (very reasonably, really) to leave me if I didn't take a break from it for a few days, and then it was Christmas and we had guests staying in my PC room, etc, etc. So as long as there's no serious problems with myself, the other "actors" or the technical crew it should be out in just a few short weeks. It could have been rushed out before Christmas but as far as I'm concerned if a jobs worth doing it's worth doing to the best of your ability, so there you go. :-)

Lastly, on behalf of myself, Nolan, Thomas and Thomas I'd like to say a huge thank-you (in no particular order) to Arturo Garcia Lasca, Weixing Ye, Xiaokui Xiao, Rickard Axelsson, Robert Axelsson, Basil de Vries, Michael Hudson, Timo Nieminen, Daniel Hansson, Denis Nazarov, Carl Tholin, Elin Martensson, Peter Abrahamsson, Chris Ploran, Daniel Andersson, Alena Malikova, Evan Wagner, Jozsef Szalontai, Attila Csernyik, Peter Horvath, Amrik Kochhar, Evelyn Morgan , Jonny Andersson, Rutger Baks, Rebecca Axelsson, Pär Josefsson, Johan Nilsson, Dan Stukanev, Alexander Lindgren, Martin Selinus, Anders Nordensten, Jonna Andersson, Stefan Schwoon, David Hocking, Mattias Berggren, Aleksander Osipov, Mads-Peter Stubgaard, Tim Doherty, Valeriy Burmistrov, Jesse van Dijk, Will Marsh, Hannu Kankaanpaa, Drew Van Lanen, Gaylord, Jakob Huddgins, Josh Zayas, Daniel Magnusson, Kimmo Polvivaara, Brent Wise, Jamie Lee Kwen, Ilkka Kurkela , Fredrik Eckers, Justin Fleck, Markus Taipale, Wim Loones, Marlo Galinski and Oldrich Vohradnik, plus anyone else who's entered one of our contests or just drops in to read this page from time to time (and, of course, Paps, J00bs, Icey and F4nt from PQ). We've had a great year and it wouldn't be possible without you guys. I doubt that Quake speedrunning can last forever, but with your continued support we can at least make sure 2003 ROCKS. :-)

Morfy had promised to do an update today, but I guess the old man is too busy porking his new donkey, so you'll just have to wait till next year to see the final demos of 2002 :-)

I'll leave you with this famous quote from John Walentik:

"Beer glorious beer. Sing the praises of the first man to take barley and ferment the results now known as beer. Tip a cold pilsner to that unknown brewer. Give thanks to the beer god. I know not what course others may take but as for me... give me another beer!"

Quite a few people get a "retro" feeling when they play Quake these days - well, we give a new meaning to that. This year's Christmas present from QdQ, courtesy of Jozsef Szalontai, Rutger Baks, and others, is Quake done Backwards. This speedrun completes Quake (yet again) with a new twist - the levels are completed in reverse order, starting at end. This enables quite a few new tricks and routes. This project has been sitting on the backburner for quite a long time - we're glad we could complete it. Merry Christmas, and enjoy Quake done Backwards.

Next up we have two id demos courtesy of Jozsef Szalontai and your humble updater (me)....

• Jozsef actually did this Nightmare Run of The Wizard's Manze quite some time ago, but from what I can understand he deems it too difficult to attempt again. He managed to squeeze out another second, and improved Ingmar's record to get 0:36. And as it has become tradition that nearly every Jozsef id record is a MUST DOWNLOAD, this is no exception :-)
• I don't think a Jozsef record has ever been beaten by more than 2-3 seconds (correct me if I'm wrong!), but today is the day folks.... BEHOLD! I spent 1 and a half months trying every possible trick/route in every possible way, and I ended up beating Jozsef's Easy 100% of The Dismal Oubliette by 30 (YES, 30 FRIGGIN' SECONDS!!!) to get 3:08! I _did_ promise Joe that I would take my record back and so I did :-) MUST DOW....ehm, can you give yourself a MUST DOWNLOAD?? I think given the fact that I beat a Jozsef record by 30 seconds I can :-)

• First to fall was his Easy 100% of dazsp2 which he improved by 2 seconds to get 0:45. Nice work with the nailgun! He went on to do the same with the Nightmare 100% which he also improved by 2 seconds to get 0:47. Same tactic as in the Easy 100%, just a few more monsters to get rid off.
• He then went on to improve his Nightmare Run of dazsp2b using a new cunning route which enabled him to improve his record by 5 seconds. This 1:01 contains some really nice tricks and is definitely worth a download!

• He blasted his way through the Easy Run of thetomb in 1:19, 2 seconds faster than Justin. He then struggled to get the Nightmare Run. But in the end the outcome was better than the Easy Run. He beat Basil by 7 seconds to get 1:18. As he says in his text file "the monsters behave better on nightmare skill"....

• He did the Easy 100% of despair2 in 1:47, 2 seconds faster than Justin. Personally I think this map suck goatnuts. Too much damn water and too narrow to be any fun, but Arturo actually did a good job on a crappy map like this :-)

• Let's kick it off with the Nightmare 100% they did on The Door To Chthon. With very clever route planning and alot of quadded rocket boosts, they managed to improve Nolan and Evan's record by 7 seconds to get 0:36! MUST DOWNLOAD! Satisfied now Weixing?? :-)
• Oh sweet baby, how I love this! 2 guys, 2 axes, and plenty of mad chopping. This simply doesn't get any better if you're a sucker for the axe like I am :-) They tackled the tricky Easy 100% on dazsp2c to get 0:58. And they went on from there to tackle the even trickier Nightmare 100% to get 1:12. /me recommends these...
• And finally they spent some time doing the 100%'s on pagan. First up is the Easy 100% in 0:20, and then the Nightmare 100% in 0:20 as well, both only 1 second slower than the 3 player demos.

Ingmar has started a verbal abuse against those who can't be arsed to get a "personal gamespy id". I agree with most of what he says. I myself avoided getting a personal gamespy id until recently though, but that was merely because I could just ftp into SDA's archives and download whatever I wanted to :-) Take a look at what he has to say here!

Things are happening over at Underworldfan's QUAKE & CUBE Single Player Map Reviews. His Hall of Fame section is up and running, but more importantly (to the SDA community) is that Bergendorff has agreed to help Underworldfan out by recording some demos for his map reviews. SWEET!

And final news for today is that The Nolans 2k2 are moving steadily forward, while we still have no date on when to have the event. Nolan has been working hard on improving the Nolans2k2 page, and things are looking really good so far. The list of all demos done in 2002 is created automaticly now, instead of me having to type in every single demo! What a relief!! We (the SDA staff) has also decided NOT to include demos posted in the year 2002 but recorded in 2001. This is due to several reasons I won't bother you with, but the bottom line is that a few demos has been given the boot because of that, but it's only a very little percentage of the total amount of demos. The Nolans2k2 event might be prolonged a bit due to some unexpected personal issues on my behalf though, but I'll try to bring it to you as soon as I can...

Oops, I almost forgot! Two new profiles, an updated one from Weixing and one from newcomer Xiaokui Xiao.

Bye for now and happy holidays!

Thomas Bergendorff has been at it again! Nothing less than 9 demos this time! He's turning into a lethal killing machine!

• Easy Run of mexx3 in 1:05, 2 seconds faster than Jonny.
• Easy Run of mexx10 in 2:02, 16 seconds faster than Shambler.
• Easy Run of epoch in 0:54, 2 seconds faster than Arturo. Cool demo alert!
• Easy 100% of mexx9b in 4:26, 15 seconds faster than Justin (he even got 4 more kills! Way to go Bergie)
• Easy 100% of mexx9c in 3:42, 78 seconds faster than Ilkka!
• Nightmare Run of mexx9c in 2:08, 22 seconds faster than Stefan.
• Nightmare Run of mexx10 in 2:40, 77 seconds faster than Justin.
• Nightmare 100% of mexx9b in 7:07, 47 seconds faster than Justin. Mayhem alert!
• Nightmare 100% of mexx9c in 6:29, 160 seconds faster than Andrey!

The funny talking dutchman, Basil de Vries has made a return to SDA.

• Easy 100% of spring2 in 0:28, 2 seconds faster than David Hocking.

• Marathon Easy Run of doe1 - Hell's Fortress in 9:42, 37 seconds faster than Tim. It's nice to see someone with the guts to tackle the doe levels, they're bitchy!

• Nightmare Run of e2m5 in 0:25, new to the tables. (0:37)
• Easy Run of church in 0:53, new to the tables. (0:57)
• Easy 100% of church in 0:58, new to the tables. (1:08)
• Nightmare Run of church in 1:01, new to the tables. (1:06)
• Nightmare 100% of church in 1:14, new to the tables. (1:29)
• Easy 100% of con1 in 0:19, new to the tables. (0:20)
• Nightmare 100% of con1 in 0:18, new to the tables. (0:20)
• Easy Run of doom2_01 in 0:07, 1 second faster than Attila/Peter. (0:08) The 'egg' demo included in the .dz contains one of the funniest things I've ever seen in Quake! Make sure you check it out!
• Easy Run of empire in 0:19, new to the tables. (0:20)
• Nightmare Run of empire in 0:19, new to the tables. (0:20)
• Easy Run of gatordiv in 0:55, 1 second faster than Hansson/Basil. (0:56)

That's it and that's that...

This was an increbibly close contest with Arturo Garcia Lasca, Weixing Ye and Timo Nieminen all getting within 2.5 seconds of Joe's winning time.

That gives Joe four wins out of seven, with Timo taking two wins and Stubby taking one.

A big thank-you to everyone that has taken part in this contest, it's been fun to organise and watch all the demos so who knows, I may organise another one in the near future.

But first I would like to finish off the DotG recams. A few lucky people have already been sent some of them to review and these are just a few of the comments we got back...

• "Well, they're alright, I suppose."
• "I didn't understand it."
• "Sorry. Couldn't be bothered to watch them."
• "How do you get them to play?"

So you see, it should be a real treat!

We'll soon be gearing up for another edition of The Nolans! You can check out a list of all demos done in the year 2002, right HERE! The list is already quite massive, but there's still time to put your demos in, so make haste! We have yet to determine a date for the event, but my guess is that we'll have it early January.... So stay tuned for The Nolans 2k2! It will be the award show of the year :-)

On to the demos! Bergendorff continues his Flecker battering, by doing yet another handful of Mexx demos! Let's post them, as Morfans so nicely put it, in 'classic SDA' style:

• Easy Run of mexx9a in 1:18, 3 seconds faster than Evan.
• Easy 100% of mexx9a in 2:23, 4 seconds faster than Justin.
• Nightmare Run of mexx9a in 1:44, 16 seconds faster than Justin.
• Nightmare 100% of mexx9a in 3:58, 21 seconds faster than Justin.
• Easy Run of mexx9b in 2:13, 26 seconds faster than Carl.
• Nightmare Run of mexx9b in 2:46, 46 seconds faster than Justin.
• Easy Run of mexx9c in 1:33, 11 seconds faster than Justin.

It's been some time since we've had a Bunny Comparison update as well, but I've recieved a couple of demos, mostly by Phil, also known as Smelly GuPH. Check 'em out!

And remember that TONIGHT is your last chance to submit demos for The Gore To Chthon contest! This is the last contest in the Gibbing series, so waste no time!

Oh, and a quick note to all your choirfellas and annoying cunts out there who made me not want to update SDA anymore... DON'T PISS ME OFF AGAIN OR I'LL BUST YOU TO SMITHEREENS!! This is no joke....

Following on from his epic victory in the Gibburat Vertigo contest, Timo Nieminen decided to see if his winning route could be applied to the normal Ziggurat Vertigo Easy 100%. It certainly could, and with the current record at 0:52 he got a 0:50 on his very first try. Ten minutes later he did this 0:49 with a big mistake in it, and a couple of days later he tidied it up to 0:47, five seconds faster than Martin. MUST DOWNLOAD

It was surely only going to be a matter of time before someone equalled Joe's pagan Easy Run on Nightmare skill and got the optimum 0:08. There are very few people with the skillz to do this, but it appears that everyone's favourite Russian syllable juggler, Denis Nazarov, is one. Outstanding.

In his usual prolific fashion, Thomas Bergendorff has gone Mexx-Mental and continued in the task of deopticifying the Mexx levels.

• First, a couple of demos on the hugely elevating mexx5.
  • Justin's record took a one second improvement (don't ask me how, it just did. If you really want to know watch them side by side and see) to 1:19.
  • And a massive forty-two second improvement to the Nightmare 100% to 3:56 is an excellent demonstration of why Lowdis is fast earning himself the nickname The Bollocks.[1]
• Skipping daintily on to mexx7, a former Optic TO, now totally in the hands of Lowdis. It's a long and not particularly run friendly map, so not much to say about it, really. I'll just post them in "classic SDA" style. :-)
  • He did the Easy Run in 1:43, three seconds faster than Justin.
  • He did the Nightmare Run in 1:48 three seconds faster than Justin.
  • He did the Easy 100% in 4:09 thirteen seconds faster than Justin.
  • He did the Nightmare 100% in 4:53 two seconds faster than Justin.
• He finished off this weeks assault with an excellent Easy 100% of mexx8b. He used a couple of neat manoeuvers (such as using a knight to hold the bars, instead of the fiend) to improve the Fleckmeisters time by eighteen seconds to 2:38. It appears that he doesn't have the balls to attempt the Nightmare 100%. Frankly, I don't blame him. I used to hold that record and it's HELL, and Justin had a VERY lucky run. But even so, such a craven display unfortunately has to lose him his "Bollocks" honourific. Tough, I know, but also fair. :-)

On to some more stunning coop action from Robert Axelsson and Rickard Axelsson. These guys have always been good, but since Rickard's skillz have really developed (in the last eight months or so) they are looking (now what's that word I'm looking for.... oh yes) 1337.

• They started off using the old "throw Rickard into the kill trigger so Robert can get through unharmed" trick on coagula to do the Nightmare Run in 0:08, one second faster than Stefan and Matthias and equaling their Easy Run time.
• Then they had a bit of fun on one of my favourite maps, scoop.
  • They improved the Easy Run by four seconds, once again over the German Duo, to 0:23. Same route, slicker play.
  • Much the same route for the Nightmare Run except that the concentration of grunts at the start/end means that a little killin' is in order before they head off inside. 0:36, new to the tables.
• Two very nice demos on polygon2 followed, depriving P-B and Fredrik of both 2P runs.
  • A sweeeet rocket boost from Rickard sent his big bro flying high in this 0:17 Nightmare Run, one second faster.
  • Since the Easy Run lacks the RL it was necessary to get a bit of shaft riding action going. They saved a second by soing it without the benefit of a slope jump to get 0:19.
• On to p_se_2...
  • They took their third record from Stefan and Matthias, this time by two seconds, with this 0:38.
  • More of the same on Nightmare Skill. A cleaner run this time but still the same time of 0:38. I was kinda hoping this was going to beat the Easy Run, but it is Nightmare skill, FFS. Maybe I expect too much. :-)

Before I go I'll give you all a final reminder that you only have this weekend and a couple of days after that to get in your entries to The Gore To Chthon. Closing time is Midnight CET on Wednesday so best gibbing fists forward.

Time for a smoke. I've given up drinking since I saw the effect it had on Nolan... ;-)

Laterz.

[1] NOTE: This is a complement, not an insult.

When it comes to accurate shooting, I don't think anyone out there can quite touch Thomas Stubgaard. During the whole of this Castle Of The Damned Nightmare 100% he only messes up one shot, and that doesn't slow him down any. To beat this 1:05 would take an amazing amount of skill and luck. One second faster than his previous record. MUST DOWNLOAD.

Before we move on to the rest of the demos let's take a look at the results from the Gib Keep contest. Once again the unstopable Jozsef Szalontai blew away the competition with some amazing play. Ken and Orbs showed some real skill in their demos but the power of the Bunny Machine would not be denied. Unfortunately, the results aren't actually posted yet because Nolan made a little faux-pas. But the demos and exact times will be posted as soon as possible.

So that makes it a Joe-Timo-Joe-Stubby-Timo-Joe series so far with only one more contest to go. If you would like to see your name added to this rolecall of destruction and your demo added into the Dimension Of The Gibbed movie production then you need to head over to The Gore To Chthon and give it your best. Closing date for this contest will be Midnight CET Wednesday 11th December 2002 so that gives even the worst or busiest of you time to get a demo in. Of course, if you don't care about me or my feelings then don't send a demo in. I'll probably just spiral down into a deep depression because nobody gives a thought to my feelings. But don't you worry about that. *sniff* I'll be okay.[1]

Making his return to SDA after serving his time in exile for "crimes against the archive" is Denis Nazarov. He improved Weixing's Nightmare 100% of pagan by two seconds with some loony bunny work and "Horvath style" mad grenade tossing. 0:39. Highly recommended.

Also highly recommended is Daniel Hansson's Easy Run of ikspq1. There is one major mistake with a knight in here which costs two seconds, but at 0:45 it is still two seconds faster than Peter, which shows you how smooth the running is. (Apart from the fuck up with the knight, obviously).

Time for more Total Ownage, Thomas Bergendorff style. This time his target is mexx4, where he already has the Easy Run.

• He stormed the Easy 100% in 2:28, 12 seconds faster than Optic. Two cool things to look out for here: The shambler getting telefragged by the zombie and the fact that he actually dies AFTER exiting the level. :-)
• He then improved Justin's Nightmare 100% by a big twenty-nine seconds to get 3:40. This level (especially the second half) is mad on Nightmare skill. I'm still amazed that he managed to survive "enforcer boulevard" and then fought off a whole pack of fiends in "the spiky room of doom" with a quad rocket launcher all with just 9 health!!
• And to take TO he beat Justin's Nightmare Run by one second on, if you believe him, his first attempt!! 1:34.

Basil de Vries has been refining his intermission killing on dma1. Well, it's not actually the IK he's refined, it's the running before he exits. He improved both his records by one second to take the Easy 100% to 0:19 and the Nightmare 100% to 0:19. There is still room for improvement here of a second or perhaps two, so if you have the patience to do an optimum run and then find it cuts to the wrong intermission screen this could be for you! ;-)

Our last demo for this week is a cool coop from Robert and Rickard Axelsson doome1m7 0:30, one second faster than that other Swedish tag-team Maggy and Bergy. Doom maps certainly do rock!

We have also received another updated profile, this time from Rolle. His picture shows he has an admirable approach to drinking but, like Carl, he seems to have developed a penchant for fucking silly hats. Is this now seen as high fashion amongst The Udders?

Before I go I'd like to draw your attention to the new link at the top of this page. You are now but one click away from our IRC channel (assuming you have a default IRC client installed). Thanks to Jesse for showing us this simple piece of HTML that we probably should have known anyway. :-) Of course, if for some reason it doesn't work then join #qdq on quakenet and tell us about it. :-)

[1] How's that for emotional blackmail? Do you all feel sorry for me now? Hmmm? What's that you say? No? Bastards!

Thomas Bergendorff found a new route on hellbase, and since he was there he thought he might as well take TO of the level.

• He improved Daniel's Easy Run by twelve seconds by using the simple observation that if you have to pick up the GL anyway then you don't need to take a detour to get the RL. 0:40. 5997
• He made the same deduction on the Nightmare Run, and a reduction of eleven seconds over Daniel to 0:43. 5998
• He found the Nightmare 100% quite good fun so he made the effort to improve Justin's record by eleven seconds to 1:41. 5999
• Even though he didn't enjoy the Easy 100% so much, only improving it by six seconds, this 1:43 is still our 6000th demo.

So there you have it. Our Demo 6000 winner was the same person as our Demo 5000 winner. And he's also an SDA staffer. Does that sound like a fix to you? It does to me. Fix! FIX! FIX!!

Missing out by one place is Michael Hudson. He made his third improvement to r1m4, this time by two seconds to 0:49. The grenade boost wasn't as smooth this time but the exit jump was perfect. He had a bit of a brown-trouser moment when the ogre in the roof didn't die, but apart from that this is a good run.

Is there something significant about this demo? Rickard Axelsson has taken one of his brother's records. Will this mean bloodshed chez Axelsson? Does Robert still have the skills to fight back? It's the Easy Run of pg2 in 1:32, two seconds faster.

Now for a real treat. Basil de Vries has taken both 100% records on dma1 from Arturo. These records looked close to optimum so how did he take another second off each record to get the Nightmare 100% to 0:20 and the Easy 100% to 0:20? The answer is intermission kills. Lot's of intermission kills. FIVE intermission kills! These are slightly sloppy in the middle room so they are still improvable (Ken?) but they are both excellent work. Good man!

Returning to Lowdis for the final two demos; both the r1m3 runs.

• He did a trick that, once I saw it, I thought was quite obvious (if very difficult) and improved Evan's Nightmare Run by four seconds to 0:16. Stunning!
• The same thing on the Easy Run except only three seconds faster than Evan. 0:17.

Before we leave I urge, nay implore, you to check out Carl's updated profile. It seems like "Sweden's Mr Sex" has gone from the sweet little boy we used to know and is now a proper man. The evidence is: decent music, drinking beer, smoking tabs and facial hair. He slightly spoils the effect, though, by wearing a fucking silly hat and taking what appears to be his Mom to the pub. :-P

*Sssssssslllluuuuurrrrrrrppppppp*

Please join me in congratulating Timo on his win and thanking Thomas, Basil and Arturo for their brave efforts.

And if you'd like to help convince me that running contests is worth all the hard work, head on over to Gib Keep[1] for the penultimate contest in this blood-splattered series. It's worth it if only because I use the phrase "festival of viscera".

The closing date for this contest is Midnight CET Wednesday 27th November 2002, so you have slightly less time than for the previous contests. This is unavoidable as I am being booted out of my job on Friday 29th and would like to get the final contest in the series under way before I go. It is also to try to ensure that the Dimension Of The Gibbed production is released before the end of December, which at the moment is looking very likely as long as I don't get distracted by trying to add special effects into it too often. :-)

Don't forget to check back here in a couple of days (unless you're too busy gibbing) for the latest demo round-up including the result of our Demo 6000 countdown!

Holy mother of fuck. SIX THOUSAND DEMOS. And that doesn't include contest demos. Well done everyone. And I mean that seriously. Well done all of us. From the greatest (Me. (And I suppose Markus, Joe, Peter, etc)) to the lowest (Ken, Amrik, Jonny, etc). Top effort.

SDA : We are become rather large.

[1]Yeah, it's a shit name. But I couldn't come up with anything better for "Gloom Keep". :-)

But since I've got a couple of hours to spare it's time to continue our countdown to Demo 6000. We ended the last update on 5983 so lets's have a look and see how we've progressed.

Ohhhhh. Looks like Axelsson Junior's been busy. But before we get to him...

Arturo Garcia Lasca has recaptured one of the pagan records from Weixing. He beat his Easy 100% by one second to equal the Nightmare time of 0:41. 5984. Of course, he did the Nightmare 100% in 0:41 first before realising that it was the Easy 100% he was supposed to be doing, but there you go. :-)

Basil de Vries found an old demo he did on prison and realised it was faster than the current record. It's the Nightmare 100% one second faster than Anders time. 0:56. 5985

Now it's time to get all Axelssony, starting with the beautiful Rickard.

• He beat Justin's Easy 100% of doom2_04 by four seconds getting 0:47. 5986. Unfortunately, in his .txt it appears that he's discovered the joys of classical art in ascii form. Oh good god. :-)
• He also improved DanielH's Easy Run of the excellent pg1 by one second to get this dragon-shagging 1:21. 5987

Then along came Robert to complete the infamous brother/sister coop team. (I'll let you decide which one's which.)

• They had a nice time pissing in the evilpool, doing both 100%s.
  • First the Easy in 0:46. 5988
  • Then the Nightmare in 0:49. 5989
• They then shared their grenades for some big jumping action on pg1 and destroyed Daniel and Jonny's Easy Run by seventeen seconds to 0:55. 5990

Next to join the party was Peter Abrahamsson, and together they made three impressive demos.

• Robert can never resist a boss map, so he dragged the other two onto hipend for some Nightmare Armagon bashing, which they did in 0:19, one second faster than Nolan, Jesse and Ingmar. 5991
• The layout of pagan makes it an ideal coop 100% map, and the guys delivered in fine style.
  • The Easy 100% tumbled to a nice 0:19. 5992
  • And, of course, the Nightmare 100% was done in the same time. 0:19. 5993. Eighteen would be a nice time for this level. :-P

Finally, to complete the LAN madness, Elin Mårtensson joined the crew. Before we get to the demos I'll just mention that Elin has sent us a profile, but no picture to go with it! I have to assume that she is very shy, or I suppose she could just be hideously embarassing. (Or her hair was a mess)

• They warmed up with an Easy Run of ikspq5. It's a pretty messy demo but quite fun and clocks in at 0:36. 5994
• They then continued with an Easy Run of theledge. Like the two player version except with more players and one second faster. 0:11. 5995
• And finally a scorching demo on a map that was made for extreme Mad Coop Nightmare 100% action, doom2_07. Clocking in at 0:14 the mad demo is only two seconds faster than the SP time, but then again Valeriy's demo is perfect so there's no shame in that. :-) 5996

Okay, obviously I haven't numbered the demos in exactly the received order. But since we didn't reach 6000 I didn't think it really mattered. There's already a couple of demos in the inbox so I think we'll have a winner by the weekend...

It's been a busy week for profiles. As well as Elin's we've also had a new one from Mike, and updated profiles from Stubby, Nolan, Robert and Timo.

In case you haven't stumbled across it already, there's a new level review site out there called Underworldfan's Quake & Cube Single Player Map Reviews. The title just about sums it up but as an additional aside he's also taking votes for the top 10 maps of all time. So if you have an opinion, hop over and have a look.

See ya when ya legal.

UPDATE: As of 8:15 AM they appear to be working again...

That, my friends, is called sarcasm. In fact only two people sent entries in, Arturo Garcia Lasca and Thomas Stubgaard, and it was Stubbz that beat Ken by less than half a second to claim the crown and his place in the refilmed production! So head on over to The Gibbly Grotto and download both demos. Then go to the Gibburat Vertigo for the next part of the challenge. (don't forget to read the rules carefully as there is a special "exit with rockets" rule to this contest.) This level should be a lot easier to complete than the previous two and with a lot more scope for rocket boosted madness so hopefully we should see more entries...

We will start this week's round-up with a sweet demo from Carl Tholin. Some people (all his friends) might claim that Carl is a dick, but his grenade placing is second to none and some ultra smooth air control allowed him to do the Easy Run of rdend in 1:06, improving Ilkka's time by a fat ten seconds. A fine example of what can happen with a rocket launcher, a quad, a pentagram and some curvy walls. Well done to the person that designed the level (whoever the fuck you are).

He then did the same thing to the Nightmare Run and, apart from a couple of mistakes just after the gold key, turned in an impressive 1:33, three seconds faster than Daniel.

Michael Hudson has sent in his second ever demo, and it's a one second improvement on his first one. This Easy Run of r1m4 is a much cleaner run than his previous but he made one silly mistake in this 0:51 that cost him two or three seconds, so further improvement is still possible.

Weixing Ye has made an assault on pagan, taking all the records except for Joe's optimum Easy Run.

• Taking the final female record from the level he improved Alena's Nightmare Run by one second to 0:09. Who out there (apart from Joe) has the skillz to do an 0:08?
• He improved Arturo's Nightmare 100% by three seconds to 0:41. Much the same route but a few nice tweaks and loads of killing while twisting through the air while bunnying.
• The Easy 100% went the same way but slightly slower at 0:42, two seconds faster than Ken.

Recently Thomas Bergendorff has been letting his mind wander and has taken records from a whole load of different people. This week he has regained his focus and is back to improving as many of Justin's records as he can...

• The Nightmare run of colony fell by just one second to 0:30. Not a lot of tricks, just twisting and turning and bunnying faster than the Flecker.
• Much more impressive is a nine second improvement to 0:56 of Optic's Nightmare run of earth.
• And finally he improved the Nightmare 100% of escape to 1:31, three seconds faster. Another run unfriendly map but for some reason people seem to like it.
• He finished off by going back to colony and taking both 100% records, the Easy 100% in 1:22, twelve seconds faster, and the Nightmare 100% in 1:40, two seconds faster. Both fairly basic, straight-forward runs but done with that all important touch of style.

Daniel Hansson made another two improvements to his Easy Run of badland2, first by one second to 2:31 and then by another second to 2:30. If you've never seen this map before then be prepared for two and a half minutes high-octane running action, and then be bitterly disappointed when you find out there's only about thirty seconds of running and a couple of minutes of waiting for stuff to happen.

Back to Weixing again as he has another try at dazsp2b.

• Nightmare Run by one second to 1:06.
• He improved his own Nightmare 100% by twenty seconds to 2:15, demonstrating just how much he has improved in the last six months.
• And his Easy 100% by fifteen seconds to 1:59.

That demo was the 5983rd to make it on to the tables. And so we begin the countdown to Demo 6000, with a fabulous prize on offer for the person that submits the 6000th demo. Well, I say "fabulous" but to be honest we haven't thought of one yet. But just ask Bergie, the sender of demo 5000, the prizes are something you will treasure all your life!

Oh, hang on. We never did send him his prize. It must still be around here somewhere...

Okay, I admit that technically Lowdis is Swedish but first and foremost he's a member of the SDA crew, and as such he transends such petty things as national boundaries.

Oh. And the Axelssons are Swedes. Maybe it's best you just ignore my opening paragraph.

Apart from the bit about Nolan, of course. I meant that.

The first pagan demos from guys have come in. One from a big, butch Hungarian, and two that weren't.

• Jozsef Szalontai improved Scion's Easy Run by two seconds to 0:08 by utilising Joe-strength bunnies and a very cheeky grenade boost (watch the demo in slow motion if you can't see it). I'd say that this has to be the optimum time.
• Arturo Garcia Lasca took Scion's other record on this map , the Nightmare 100%, by six seconds to 0:44. Same route and tricks, just more bunnys and smoother play.
• Ken performed the same route to fill the Easy 100% gap, also getting 0:44.

Basil de Vries continues his comeback by taking TO of the long (but fun) fmb8.

• He found a couple of nice new tricks to improve Hannu's Easy Run. Shame he cocked some of them up. :-) 1:00. Four seconds faster.
• He filled the empty slot for the Nightmare Run using much the same route but with a few more monsters to avoid (and a few more mistakes) giving him 1:10. Watch out for the nice monster slide coming back from the key.
• He also used some new shortcuts and grenade jumps on the Easy 100% which got him this 4:49. Seven seconds faster than Hannu.
• And to complete the set he beat Tim's Nightmare 100% by seventy-two seconds to 8:33. He had a little trouble finding the last monster to kill and wasted about thirty seconds. So if someone's looking for a challenge then this is improvable if you have the patience. This record also features perhaps the most confusing .txt in the history of the archive. I still can't work out what the hell it's about. :-)

Thomas Bergendorff has been playing with fire.

• He took the Easy 100% of this rather lava intensive map from Marlo with this 1:12, four seconds faster.
• He also delivered a brutal anal reaming to Optic's Nightmare 100% which he improved by sixteen seconds to 1:39.

Former level reviewer and top TV chef Fern has improved his Nightmare Run of ikspq5 by two seconds to 1:02. He also includes another, slightly faster, run but I can't help thinking there's something a little suspicious about it...

Last week Thomas took TO of darkness with some excellent runs. Our final single player demo of the update see us returning to Ken as he breaks that ownage by taking the Easy Run by one second using an additional grenade boost and all round solid play to take the time down to 0:42.

Moving on to some slick coop action from Rickard Axelsson and his fresh faced, cloven hoofed brother Robert Axelsson. They took the Runs on theledge using the fairly obvious route, but done in the fast time of 0:13 (Easy Run) and 0:13 (Nightmare Run).

Following my call last week for the Ladies to send in their profiles we have, at long last, received one from Chris Ploran. I'm not quite sure if it was just a coincidence that he sent his in at this time or if there's something he'd like to tell us all...

Finally, I've been threatened with a swift kick in my capacious scrotum if I don't keep on pimping our IRC channel #qdq. So if you know how to idle, come along to #qdq on quakenet and call Ajare a buttsucker. Try it! It's fun!

Morfans|AWAY

[1] This was true when I started writing the update on Friday. There's already five more demos in the inbox but, unfortunately, I can't be frigged to update them now. :-)

As expected this contest had less entries than the previous two but the turnout was still good so I'm hoping for big things from you people on the last three quad heavy maps of the project.

But before we get there we have e1m4 to complete so head on over to The Gibbly Grotto and start killing. Once again you have nearly two weeks to get your entry in. The deadline being Midnight CET Sunday 3rd November 2002. As I'm sure you are all well aware that's the day before my birthday so I shall be expecting either...

1. Cash. (Sterling or US dollars only. None of that "euro" shit.)
2. Sex.
3. Or a demo for The Gibbly Grotto.

And while you're all wrestling with such a difficult choice I'll turn your attention to something more elegant, more fragrant, more... LadyQuake.

Yes, after about ten weeks of waiting I think it's fair to say that this experiment is over. I hope you'll all join me in thanking and congratulating Alena Malikova, Evelyn 'Scion' Morgan, Rebecca Axelsson and Elisabeth Johansson for taking part and sending in some cool demos. Alena and Scion have both won a "better than Morfy" award for beating my own personal best time on pagan but who was the overall winner? I think it's only fair, and very patronising, to say that EVERYONE was the winner. :-)

Of course, now that you've had a demo up on SDA you are welcome, actually you're obliged, to submit a profile of yourself and a picture to send the hormone-charged male speedrunners who frequent this site into a rutting frenzy.

This also means that pagan is now open to anyone, be they male, female or Amrik, to submit a demo on. For those of you that sent in speedruns on this map while it was still "ladies only" you will have to send them in again. Sorry, but it's the only fair way.

Barking Basil de Vries has finally returned to planet Earth and he's brought a couple of demos with him.

• He improved Ilkka's Easy 100% of the wonderful ikspq3 by a massive twenty-three seconds to 1:36. Sometimes it's easy to forget that behind the mild mannered madman is a guy that can really play. :-)
• He also filled the empty Nightmare Run slot on imp1sp2. It's a fairly standard run up until the end where he uses some clever play to avoid the shambler carnage. 1:02.

Staying on imp1sp2 for some 100% action, brought to you in a Weixing Ye stylee.

• His recent Easy 100% was due an improvement. And sure enough it arrived in the form of this 2:08, six seconds faster than previously.
• He then (thankfully) destroyed my poor tablefiller of the Nightmare 100% by forty-five seconds to 3:09.
• OpenGL also did a nice improvement to his scream Nightmare 100%. This 1:08 is ten seconds faster than his previous record, and the clean killing and smoother play shown here demonstrates how much his play has developed over the last few months.

Once again we have a fine crop of demos from Thomas Bergendorff, including him taking TO of yet another level.

• The level in question being darkness.
  • He had a real challenge for the Easy Run as Ilkka's record looked very solid. But persistence paid off and he delivered this 0:43, one second faster.
  • He then did the Nightmare Run in 0:47, three seconds faster than Justin. Slightly scrappy, really.
  • Two days later he used the Easy Run route to equal the Easy time of 0:43, four seconds faster than the demo above. An excellent demo.
  • Now that he knew the level he did the Easy 100% eleven seconds faster than Optic with some nice route tweaking and generally fast play to get 1:28.
  • And then a quick five second improvement (over, you guessed it, Optic's time) to the Nightmare 100% gave him Total Ownage. 0:47.
• To finish off another weeks madness he spent a few minutes changing Justin's Easy 100% route on houstrps and then running in this 1:09, seven seconds faster.

I've just realised that I've said nice things about all three of the previous runners. This won't do. I'll get a reputation for being a soft bastard. I'd better be really nasty to the next person...

Ugly Swedish twat Daniel Andersson has taken time off from sucking corpses off to improve the Nightmare Run of jjspq1 to 1:06, three seconds faster than cock faced anus Thomas.

Phew, I'm glad I got that out of my system. Sorry Daniel and Lowdis, I didn't mean it really. I only picked on you two because I want you to be my bitches.

UPDATE (by Stubby): Seems like Amrik had already made a 1:06 back in January, but by mistake it wasn't put in history.txt (i.e. didn't appear on the tables). So the 1:06 points to Amrik's demo now... Sorry Daniel, but your demo had to go :-)

Speaking of bitches, it's finally time to close the LadyQ.. Damn, No time to do this now. I have to go catch my train. Sorry. Next time, I promise. :-)

So in honour of the fact that this is Blood Friday here at SDA I'm going to listen to Slayer's "Reign In Blood", Onslaught's "Blood on the Ice" and Type O Negative's "Bloody Kisses" while I'm writing this update. And if I still haven't finished by then I'm going to have to put on the Bloodhound Gang's "One Fierce Beer Coaster" because that's the only other CD I have with the word "blood" in it.

Demos...

First we have the prolific killing machine that is Thomas Bergendorff. In the last three months or so since he began taking records like a madman he has moved from position 23 in the Player Statistics league to position 16. Overtaking such great players as Peter, Attila, Fab, Amrik, DanielA and even me! He continues the assault with three more cool demos. The first two on hunter.

• He did the Easy Run in 0:51, two seconds faster than Justin, by taking the short detour in the water to grab the grenade launcher and boost his way around the latter half of the map in what is fast becoming classic Bergendorff style.
• Same route except with one less grenade boost allowed him to do the Nightmare Run in 0:52, also two seconds faster than Justin.
• Then he took a break from capturing Optic records and moved on to a Marlo record instead. He went after the Easy Run of damaul3b and managed a one second improvement to 0:25. This now gives him 3 out of the 4 normal runs on this map...

The new blood mentioned at the start of this update is SDA first-timer Michael Hudson who improved Robert's Easy Run of r1m4 by two seconds to 0:52. Everyone please stand up and wave your todger in the air[1] in salute and welcome to Michael. The demo shows some big bunny skills and sweet gren jumping so hopefully this first demo won't be his last...

The old blood is a fella we haven't heard from since his last SDA update back at the start of 2001. Fuck knows where he's been, but it's good to see that he's still alive and, even more importantly, still playing Quake. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming back Evan "windlash" Wagner. Evan teamed up with his old mukka Nolan Pflug to tackle the Easy 100% of the hugely long czg07c and they produced this 6:47. You know I get the feeling that Nolan really doesn't like that ogre on the bridge at the end. :-)

Nolan used the slack time while they were working on the coop demo to improve his own Easy 100% of the level by forty-seven seconds to 7:58. A masterly run with loads of close range rocket action, and keep an eye out for the pretty vore ball at the end...

And I couldn't let the opportunity pass to remind people that this was the fourth Easy 100% demo on this map. The first one being the cherry run by Amrik that was over THIRTY MINUTES in length! Sorry, Kochhy, but I just had to mention it.

Daniel Andersson is not only getting better all the time, he's also getting cockier.

• He took both runs on czgtoxic.
  • First he improved Joe's Easy Run by one second to 0:25. He says in his .txt file "nothing new, just faster than Joe (who's a slow arsed pussy)". Brave words.
  • The then used the same route and somehow survived the hail of damage to beat Amrik's Nightmare Run by five seconds to 0:26. He mailed me soon after sending this demo in to say that he meant to put in his .txt file "Amrik is not a very nice person and I would like to see him have a moderate amount of ill luck." Not quite such fierce words but you can see the sentiment behind them.
• Finally, he did a proper Nightmare Run of harmsway to make up for his farcical effort of last week. This 2:00 is a good run and twenty-five seconds faster than his previous demo. He says in his .txt about the previous record holder: "I'd really like to be able to suck Daniel's cock. No. Honestly. I really really would." And you know what? I believe him.

That's the demos. Don't forget (as if I'd let you) that the current contest in the Dimension Of The Gibbed challenge is running. So if you want to try and join Jozsef and Timo in the finished production head on over to The Gibopolis and get gibbing.

The QdQ page has been updated with all the recent independently produced multi level runs. This includes a new one from the enigmatically named Phil (a pseudonym for a Betelgeusian if ever I heard one) called Quake Done QUAD. It's a cheated run using god, impulse 9, impulse 255 and host_framerate cheats which means that the resulting times are F-A-S-T. He only managed to do the first three episodes before running out of enthusiasm but he did recam all his demos which make entertaining viewing. Top work Phil!

That's me finished for today, and I'm only half way through "Bloody Kisses". W00T! :-)

[1] If you are one of our fine lady readers you obviously can't wave your todger in the air. So feel free to either wave someone elses or alternatively you could.... No. On second thoughts don't get me started on the wonders of female anatomy. We'll be here all night.

Of course, since Part 2 of the contest is over it's time for part 3 to begin. So head on over to The Gibopolis for more death, slaughter and mayhem than you can possibly imagine. As this is a slightly harder map to complete you have until Midnight CET Sunday 20th October 2002 to get your entry in.

And just to prove that I've started work on the refilmed production I've prepared what we in the film industry call a "rush". A slightly unpolished but essentially finished recam of Joe's winning e1m1 demo. Download it here and see what you think...

Daniel Andersson has gone and got himself a new PC, and to celebrate he took both the Long Way Runs on harmsway.

• He did the Easy Run in 1:39, two seconds faster than Martin.
• Then he used pretty much the same route, with a few detours for health, etc, in the Nightmare Run and got 2:25, one second faster than Justin. And if you're wonder how a similar route can be so much slower then just watch the demo. It's hilarious. MUST RIDICULE. Fool. :-)

More demos are in from the man voted as Time Magazines "Bitch Whore Of The Year", Thomas Bergendorff.

• He started off with what I think is the first Rogue improvement this year! He improved Optic's Nightmare Run of r1m5 by five seconds to 1:13. A very nice run on a very difficult map.
• Next he tried the 100%s on drakopf.
  • He did the Easy 100% in 0:19, one second faster than Ken. A nice, long, quadded intermission grenade kill in this one. :-)
  • And the Nightmare 100% three seconds faster than Justin. 0:22. A little luck with monster fighting each other which grouped them nicely for the quad grenade kill. :-)

Weixing "Filthy" Ye has been having a good week. Not only has he joined the "filthy few" over on the Bunny Comparison page by becoming the tenth person to do e2m1 in under eight seconds, he also did three nice demos...

• He ignored the last few grunts at the start of the Nightmare 100% of em1 and slaughtered them in passing when they ran outside. This saved him three seconds over his previous time getting 0:49.
• Then he improved his Easy 100% of the intensely frustrating (scrag-wise) scream by two seconds to 1:04.
• And finally he did a table filler for us. He filled the empty slot for the Easy 100% of imp1sp2 in 2:14. Not a bad demo for a TF but should be quite easy to improve. :-) Do I need to remind you people the the Nightmare Run on this map is still unclaimed?

He wasn't the only preson to submit Bunny Comparison demos in the last week, we also had sumbissions from Dangerous David Miller, Thomas Terroooaaaar Stubgaard, Twisted Thomas Bergendorff and Dr Death David Hocking. (Note: Those aren't their real names, I just made them up. Amazing, eh?)

I couldn't resist slipping in a quick reminder that the Castle Of The Gibbed contest is running. You have, errrr, five and a bit more days to get your entries in. Don't be a fool like Thomas Bergendorff or Daniel Andersson who apparently "forgot" to send in their entries to the last contest (yeah, right), and try not to be unlucky like Anders Nordensten who's demo got lost somewhere between him pressing "send" and, errr, somewhere else.

In case anyone missed the announcement, David "SnooP" Hocking has released his one man Easy Run through the whole of Quake in 11:55 that he's called SnooP Shafts Shub. The runs are excellent but by far the best thing about it is the title. I laughed for hours. But seriously, tRR had better come out soon or someone is going to upstage it like this before it's even seen the light of day!

Finally, Sassa and the rest of the guys over on the NetQuake Europe site have recently made some nice movies of their deathmatch exploits and trickjumping skills. The downloads are fairly hefty but the results are entertaining so if, like me, you like to DM using only your eyes you might want to give them a viewing.

Hmmm. I think I fancy another one now.

Cheerio.

And once you've finished gasping at the uber-1337 skillz on display head on over to the Castle Of The Gibbed for the second contest of the series. If the level of support for these contests stays this high all the way through the series you will make me a very happy sadistic old fucker indeed.

And don't forget that everyone who submits a demo will get a mention in the final production. Probably something along the line of the "Hall of Twats" room in RDE, or the "Gimps on Plinths" in SCBB. Or maybe not.

SDA : Who the hell do they think they are?

Tuesday, September 24th by Morfans

Count My Wisdom Teeth! - 10:43 PM

Sunday, September 22nd by Morfans

New Contest! - 7:47 PM

Monday, September 16th by Morfans

Sniff The Fist. - 10:08 PM

Sunday, September 15th by Stubby

You People Did It Again! - 9:59 PM

Wednesday, September 11th by Stubby

All Good Things Must Come To An End.... - 11:42 PM

I had originally made another headline for this update, but it caused quite a roar in our IRC channel, so I changed it. Feel free to interpret the new one anyway you like! I'm leaving the flag though...

We haven't received any demos since last update....

Saturday, September 7th by Stubby

Hungarian Hullabaloo - 3:07 PM

Wednesday, September 4th by Stubby

The Bergendorff Massacre! - 11:31 PM

Sunday, September 1st by Stubby

Cellphones are EVIL! - 12:33 PM

Tuesday, August 27th by Morfans

Salute To Stubbz: We Are Not Worthy! - 7:28 PM

Wednesday, August 21st by Morfans Fast Women or

My Ass Becomed Dropsical - 10:03 PM

Monday, August 19th by Morfans

Rippin' At The Carcass. - 10:29 PM

Sunday, August 18th (2nd update) by lodis

Two updates in one day??? - 10:55 PM

Sunday, August 18th by Stubby

Isn't Life Grand? - 7:12 PM

Thursday, August 15th by Stubby Hungarian Coop Mayhem, Demo Madness &

Assorted Tidbits - 6:47 PM

Friday, August 9th by Morfans The True Definition Of A Freak or

Attack Of The Swedes Pt III - 1:58 AM

Friday, August 2nd by Stubby

Run Of The Whenever Championship Finale! - 1:01 AM

Monday, July 29th by Morfans

What's The Opposite Of Up And Down? - 9:42 PM

Wednesday, July 24th by Morfans

RotW, Mini-Speedcon And More Chicks-On-Speed. - 9:42 PM

Tuesday, July 23rd by Stubby

Don't Make Me Break My Foot Off In Yer Ass! - 5:02 PM

It's that time of month again, it's time for the final, yes you heard right, the FINAL Run Of The Whenever contest of the Championship! This is your absolute final chance to secure some valuable championship points. Given the fact that I've been in a really good mood lately (it's probably all them beers), I've decided to let you have nothing less than 4 disciplines this time, all with 20 points maximum each! That means a total of 80 champ points will be available if you are able to get first in all 4 disciplines, and a whoopping 840 champ points in total! :)

Thanks a bunch to Daniel Hansson who came to my rescue. I've turned down quite a few maps he has sent me, not that the maps weren't good, I just wanted the final ROTW contest to be on a really nice map that I'd like myself. So, thanks for all your efforts Daniel, you're a true hero :)

I know it's a bit misleading that this contest is #12 and it says '9th SDA Championship Contest' on the contest page, but that's because we started to name the contests like c1, c2 and so on before the championship began, and we simply just continued with the number we were at when the champ contests started. I'll promise to sort it all out when the Championship has ended and make it more user friendly.

A demo update should be due tomorrow. Depends on how busy Richard will be with moving house and all. Martin Selinus visited me during the weekend, and we made a bunch of coops. Stay tuned for that.

Enjoy!

Thursday, July 18th by Morfans

101 Ways To Kill A Rat. - 8:57 PM

Nice to see you all here again. It's time for another sizable update, starting with a full metric tonne of news items, followed by enough quality demos to re-float a beached whale.

First off we have a cool animated gif from Denis Nazarov. I won't say too much about it, except that it's nearly a meg in size so those of you without broadband should probably save it locally while you read the rest of this drivel and then watch it later. Get it here.

Next, some serious shit for the Danish Quake (specifically QuakeWorld) community has been brought to our attention by Kemo. Go here to support them in their hour of need and try to stop every public server turning into a counterfuckingstrike server.

For those of you the detest these Jonny-come-lately graphical windowsy operating systems Nolan has released v2.9 of the command line version of Dzip.

Also, the hard working man that supplies Denmark with most of it's electricity[1], Stubbz has added the latest demos to the Bunny Comparison page and also five new cheated demos to the Cheated Page. Well worth a look.

Unfortunately, things have been slacker than I expected on the Find A Spouse For Jube page. Only six entries so far, so I can only imagine you're all either choosing your words carefully or very shy. So sharpen your wit and get proposin'.

Just before we get around to the demos I'd just like to mention that I've been getting one or two comments about how I've been giving out too many M... D.......s to demos recently. I personally put this down to the incredibly high quality of recent demos, but if that's the way you feel then so be it. So despite the fact that we have three people doing nine improvements to five different Id records not a single one will be given a M**T D**NL**D. Here they are in episode/level order...

• Jozsef Szalontai has improved his Nightmare Run of The Crypt Of Decay, and it's another fine example of how speedrunning has progressed over the last couple of years. It used to be necessary to extend the first bridge; then you could OG jump across the gap; now Joe has shown that if you have hellish bunny skillz you can actually just jump the gap in one huge leap. This allowed him to first get a one second improvement to 0:43, and then a slightly cleaner run over the bridge and a much better grenade jump off the zombie at the end took the time down to 0:42. MANDATORY VIEWING
• Staying with Joe, he has further improved his recent Nightmare Run of the Ebon Fortress. The first was a one second, same route improvement to 0:48, but then he had a really damage free run, allowing him to skip the health before the RL and do the RJ over the ogre barrier. I'm sure you'll notice that he takes four shots to hit the three buttons, and that the time is 0:46.13!! COMPULSORY WATCHING
• Next up is Timo Nieminen who has taken one more second from his Easy Run of The Underearth. He thinks this 0:31 is optimum, and I think he's probably right. DO NOT MISS THIS DEMO
• On to Daniel Hansson who just can't leave the Easy 100% of Wind Tunnels alone. And while he keeps making improvements like these why the hell should he? First he made a one second improvement to 1:28, but because his route tweaks after the second quad saved at least two seconds he had to wait before RJing himself out of the secret. But he soon found a way around that problem and got a 1:26 and then a 1:25. ENSURE YOU TRANSFER THE .DZ TO YOUR LOCAL MACHINE, EXTRACT THE DEMO AND WATCH IT
• Daniel also did a one second improvement to his Easy 100% of The Elder God Shrine. Luckily for me, as I'm running out of terms to describe absolute action, this 1:27 only rates FAIRLY GOOD. :-)

Daniel also took both gatordiv Run records from Rickard. The Easy Run by one second to 0:56 and the Nightmare Run by four big seconds to 0:57.

Next up is the very welcome return of 01d 5k001 runner and technical guru Stefan Schwoon. Now that he finally has some spare time on his hands he has done his first run for eight months, the Easy 100% of csa in 1:42. He has also added a new feature to the tables, a list of the 15 oldest Id records. So if you're looking for inspiration for your next demo, these oldies should be fairly easy to beat. :-)

Rickard Axelsson has not been idle this week with two nice Nightmare 100% demos...

• He did a seven second improvement of Justin's doom2_04 record. This 0:47 means there's only the Easy 100% to go to give total Axelsson control (in one form or another) of this level.
• He also did a three second improvement to Fabian's Nightmare 100% of hotel. 0:56.

Arturo Garcia Lasca is continuing to work on the networld records. This time he beat Marlo's Easy 100% by three seconds to 1:29.

When he isn't making gifs Denn is sometimes known to make rather rash threats. He has decided to take revenge on Joe for beating his recent arma record by doing a couple of very impressive improvements to Joe's commctr, first by three seconds to 0:36 and then a two seconds faster still in this bitching 0:34. Now, you certainly have some excellent skillz and you're improving all the time, but are you sure you're ready to start a war with Joe??

And finally, a coop record that officially makes rd1m2 the most popular non-id map in the archive from Carl Tholin, Daniel Hansson and Daniel Andersson. They beat Marlo, Fabian and Stefan's Nightmare 100% by six seconds to get 1:09.

And finally, check out Joe's new profile and picture of him and his new girlfriend. :-P

[1] They attached a dynamo to his right forearm and it gives enough rapid "back and forth" motion over the course of the day to produce 1 GW/h of electricity. Strange but true.

Thursday, July 11th by Morfans

Elephantitis of the Update. - 9:55 PM

Welcome, my friends, welcome. It's update time yet again and this promises to be another huge extravaganza of an update, packed full of demos, moronic comment and marrowbone jelly. SDA : The only speedrunning site you'll ever need...or your money back![1]

Before we get to the demos I have a little suprise for you all. Regular readers will know that I recently had to jilt PlanetQuake's siren of desire Jube due to a slight misunderstanding in the marriage laws. But what kind of a pimp man would I be if I left the situation like that? Why should she have to spend her days dreaming of what might have been when there's enough prime, single man-flesh reading these words to cover the Great Wall of China, just sitting round waiting for love to cross it's path. So bring a little light into the world. Go here.

Back to normality, or at least as normal as you can get when you're dealing with Amrik Kochhar. Do you remember those heady days back in the autumn (or "fall" as certain, less civilised, cultures will try and call it) of 1998 when SDA was gripped by "End Madness" as the thought-to-be-optimised Easy Run of Shub-Niggurath's Pit was broken five times in one month? Since then, Fredrik's 0:18 has been assumed to be the optimum time for the new route, but now in a tour-de-force of FATF[tm] Amrik has produced this superb 0:17. MUST DOWNLOAD

We have one other improvement to an SP Id record. Daniel Hansson has done his fourth successive one second improvement to the Easy 100% of the Wind Tunnels to bring the time down to 1:29. MUST DOWNLOAD

He also did two other demos. No prizes for guessing that one of them is on a czg07 level.

• He improved his Easy 100% of czg07a by a further eighteen seconds to 4:07. This is his tenth demo on this map and his thirty-sixth on this episode. :-)
• He also improved his badland2 Easy 100% by two seconds to 2:51.

Continuing his newly found rush into the world of single player speedrunning, Rickard Axelsson has gone gatordiv crazy.

• He beat Daniel's Easy run of this lava-heavy map by three seconds, taking the time down to 0:57.
• And being the methodical kind, he also improved the Nightmare Run down to 1:01, four seconds faster than Matthias.

It's always a pleasure to receive a clutch of demos from Arturo Garcia "People Skills" Lasca, especially when they're accompanied by one of his polite, humorous e-mails.

• He might have all the personal affability of a dead raccoon[2] but you can't deny his killing skillz. This week he went to work on Thomas's 100% records for damaul3b.
  • The Easy 100% saw a big improvement of five seconds to 0:42. But that didn't come close to...
  • ...his eight second destruction of the Nightmare 100%. Smooth play, efficient killing and just a sprinkle of luck with the monsters gave him an impressive 0:40.
• Then he decided to find a different map to show his speed on and chose networld. Daniel's Easy Run soon crumbled to this two second improvement to 1:08.

Only one demo this time from Jozsef Szalontai but at least he's had the descency to make it optimum. There's a lot going on in a very short space of time as he beat Peter's Nightmare Run of dma1 by one second. If you blink you'll miss this 0:06. And if that's not enough Joe action for all you Szalontaholics out there then head on over to IllMind Moves where, rather predictably when you think about it, guess who it was that won the recent trick jumping contest...

Carl Tholin has improved both non-bouncy runs on rd1m2. Which makes the map the equal first most popular non-id map in the history of everything ever! C'mon people. Just one more demo will make Jesse a very happy and proud man. :-)

• He improved Ilkka's Easy Run by one second to 0:22 by using the curly grenade jump across the watery bit, the first time we've seen this done in a SP demo without the benefit of bunnies. MUST DOWNLOAD
• He then improved Robert's much longer and harder (oo-er!) Nightmare Run by three seconds to 0:51. It would have been by four seconds if he'd have had the balls to do the jump above instead of skipping round the platforms like a little schoolgirl. :-)

If any man deserves to have a wallet with "Bad Mother Fucker" burnt on it then it's Thomas "L" Bergendorff. He has revisited fatalpla and shown us just how much better the new, improved Lodis is compared to the old Bergie. 2:44, twenty five seconds faster.

More shenanigans on the level that half the world seems to want to improve at the moment, well.

• Fern started things off by slicking up his Nightmare Run route, gaining an extra two seconds to 0:49.
• But Rickard reclaimed his record by preserving his speed better after the boost over the trigger. This gave him one more second to 0:48.
• He also recaptured his Easy Run in the same manner with this 0:47, three seconds faster than Fern.

Rickard also teamed up with his brother Robert Axelsson to bring us some more staggering coops.

• They began with an amazing Easy Run of Gloom Keep in 0:13, one second faster than Attila and Peter. I think this is probably "the O word", but if you mention it too loud around a coop demo then it breaks the tables and brings down the GameSpy servers so I'll just say it's a MUST DOWNLOAD and leave it at that.
• They also did the Nightmare Run in 0:14. Same route, same improvement.
• Finally, they managed to squeak another second out of the Easy Run of The Tomb Of Terror. Getting the monsters to behave in this 0:21 must have been hell, but it's one second faster than Ilkka and Juho so fair play to them.

That's all the demos for today so now, as promised, a brief rundown of the whys, wherefores and wildebeest of that wonderful institution that is Speed Demos Archive.

• SDA is currently maintained by Me (who writes most of the demo updates and so gets most of the praise and credit), Stubbz (who does most of the actual hard work), Nolan (the site founder and essential background task do-er) and Lodis (who looks after our IRC channel and swears at people when he's drunk.)
• If you want to watch any of the newer demos or send us your demos then you should get the latest version of Dzip.
• Send your demos to sda, unless they're Bunny Comparison or Run of the Whenever demos, in which case they should go to Stubbz only.
• If you want to watch a demo or try a run on a map but don't actually have the map then a download link is provided on each map's record page. For a full list of maps we are accepting runs on click on the TABLES tag on the left.
• We're happy to listen to any suggestion, question, query or constructive criticism, but if you start to bitch at us we'll come round to your house and do bizarre, illegal and highly improper things to your pets. You have been warned.
• Oh shit. Look at the time. I have to go. Catch you all later in #qdq!

[1] Sorry, Adam. Couldn't resist it. I do, of course, mean Quake Speedrunning.
[2] No offence meant to any raccoons that have recently lost a loved one. ;-)

Sunday, July 7th by Morfans

Mo' Better Demos. - 12:42 AM

You know how the old saying goes; "Another five days, another fifteen demos." Or something like that anyway. So watch them all! Or just watch some! Or even don't watch any! But if you do that you'll be missing out on some seriously good shit.

Let's start off with something that's becoming a wonderfully regular feature of the updates...

The MUST DOWNLOAD Jozsef Szalontai Id record improvements!

• First the big Hungarian showoff went for the Nightmare Run of The Underearth and managed to luck his way to a 0:35, one second faster than Robert. (Well, I say "luck". It's more like unbelievable skill. But let's not quibble over terms.)
• Then he stripped DanielH of his Wind Tunnels Easy Run by one second, clocking in at 0:57. Will anyone manage to "deaden" the remaining two wind tunnel exits?

Nolan Pflug improved his Nightmare Run of zer1m6 a few minutes before the last update was posted but I really couldn't be arsed to add it in. So this eleven second improvement to 2:03 has been maturing like a fine wine for the last few days. Check out the perfectly executed "quad gren jump with added rafter bunny" and the ogre grenade near the end that nearly ruined it all. :-)

Contrary to his American heritage, Fern has used the power of common sense (and impulse 211) to completely destroy Rickard's recent well runs. Using a quicker grenade jump (saving one or two seconds) and a boost to avoid the trigger that starts the whole "dog" sequence (saving over a minute!!) he improved the Nightmare Run by sixty-eight seconds to 0:51 and then the Easy Run by sixty-seven seconds to 0:50.

Denis Nazarov has produced two excellent improvements to Sebastian's 100% demos on the truly ugly flyer. Some clever play netted him a three second improvement to 0:24 on both skills. Easy. Nightmare.

My personal role model, Arturo Garcia Lasca, has done the Nightmare Run of fatalpla three seconds faster than DanielM, giving him a time of 0:55. This takes the Nightmare Run time down to the same as Erik's original Easy Run time. Not that there's anything that unusual about that, I just thought I'd mention it. :-)

The rather infrequent tornado, Amrik Kochhar, has taken another step towards getting the Easy Run of rd1m1 under 0:40 with another one second improvement to 0:41. Only two more seconds to find...

Back to Joe who has also done one custom demo this week. He improved Thomas's Nightmare Run of mcm01 by four seconds to 0:36 using the same tricks as in Evan's Easy Run. He says this should be easily improvable by anyone, to which I, rather cleverly, reposte "BOLLOCKS". :-)

We're going to sprint for the finish now with a stack of demos from Sweden. Mostly from The Udders but also a coop from The Uppers.

Carl Tholin refuses to get dragged into the great bunny heresy and continues to improve "proper" RDE records. This time it's an eleven second improvement to DanielL's Easy 100% of rdend. All the way through this 2:49 I kept expecting him to start hopping. After all this time and all these thousands of demos it just looks so unnatural to just run in a straight line.

Daniel Andersson soaked up a little blue ambience in the azurette, calmly improving his Easy Run by four seconds to 0:41.

And if Andersson demos are your thing then these two Jonny Andersson improvements to the Easy 100% of rwa1 should be all you need to get your juices flowing. First a one second improvement to DanielL's record, 0:58, and then one second better than that. 0:57. Both feature intermission nails, but since he'd already killed everything before exiting they just turn out to be a rather attractive waste of ironmongery.

Just a few weeks after the release of all the QddQ demos (scroll down if you haven't seen them) Martin Selinus and Anders Nordensten have already improved one. At the time Stubby wondered why Martin and Robin didn't use the SP route (plus boosts) for the Easy Run of The Elder God Shrine. If they had then they could have been two seconds faster. 0:33.

It seems that the IllMind Moves contest was over before I'd even posted the link. Oh well. Ingmar's on holiday at the moment (at some German Animal Porn festival, I believe) so you'll have to wait a few days to see the winning entry.

And finally I'd like to say a big hello to all the new people that seem to be visiting us at the moment. We'll (probably) be doing one of our semi-regular "This is SDA" updates in the next few days (I was going to do it here but time, once again, has got the better of me. Mostly due to Lodis and myself spending several hours checking out a bunch of new maps) but if you have any questions then the answer is probably tucked away under the Site Info tag to your left. If not feel free to mail us or drop in to #qdq on quakenet where our highly skilled team will be pleased to pretend they're not there.

Missing you already...

Wednesday, July 3rd by Stubby

Markus and Weixing goes MAD! - 10:51 PM

Just a little quickie to inform you that there's another handful of demos up on the Bunny Comparison page. Two of these demos are out of this world! I think there can be little doubt now that Markus is the Bunny Master! If you don't believe me, then I challenge you to dublicate, or at least make an attempt to get as fast as he did on e2m1...you'll fail for sure! Also, Weixing's 100m demo is a masterpiece in bunny madness too. His bunnies look awkward though, but apparently they're fast as lightning! Check out the Bunny Comparison for more.

There should be a ROTW contest up soon. I know it's been too long, but I've been a slacker lately....

Tuesday, July 2nd by Morfans

Viva Brazil! - 8:57 AM

It's been another hectic weekend here at SDA. Fifteen new demos have hit our inbox since the last update and not a duff one amongst them. We are in the process of sorting out some new maps for release but while the number and quality of demos remains this high we'll probably hang on another week or so.

We'll start off with our first visit to the mysterious world of the fiendish Jozsef Szalontai and two demos in the ever popular Ebon Fortress.

• The first is a three second improvement of Timo's Nightmare run. Some of the time is saved by using Joe-speed bunnying but the biggest saving (perhaps a whole second!!) is a totally obvious trick at the silver key door that I can't believe we haven't seen before. When I saw it I thought "surely you can't do that, otherwise everyone would have done it", but there you go. 0:49. MUST DOWNLOAD.
• Then he proved that no record is safe from Joe-2002 with this 0:40 Easy Run, one second faster than Sergi. Even Joe isn't sure where the one second comes from, and Sergi was a faaast hopper. Be afraid, people. MUST DOWNLOAD

Nolan Pflug found himself with some idle time after preparing the latest version of dzip for release (get it here!) and set about improving the nightmare records on (IMHO) one of the cleverest and best looking maps in the archive, zer1m6.

• First to fall was the Nightmare Run which he did fifteen seconds faster than Jim. Much plummeting followed by much killing followed by much climbing (with some sweet grenade assistance). 2:14.
• Then he destroyed his own Nightmare 100% by twenty three seconds to 2:55.
• Which is the same time as his Easy 100%, so he thought he'd better improve that too. It proved to be much harder but he still managed six more seconds to 2:49.

Back to Joe for two more demos...

• Following on from his Easy Run last update, he improved Valeriy's Nightmare Run of doom2_08 by the same amount, two seconds, to get 0:22.
• Then he sent in a demo he made some time ago but forgot to send in. The Easy Run of arma2 in 0:27, one second faster than Denn's recent run.

But Denis Nazarov will not let the trauma of losing his first record have any effect on his playing. And to prove it he has tackled the flyer Easy Run and improved it to 0:13, one second faster than Sebastian's demo. This will be hugely difficult to beat, it might even be "the O word", and he also predicts that the Nightmare Run could be done in the same time...

Making one final big push on his Nightmare 100% of fc_coag is Weixing Ye. He has shaved off another two seconds to get 61 kills in 61 seconds, notwithstanding the fact that the last two were intermission grenade kills. :-) It also looks like OpenGL will be moving on to some new maps and new records, providing he can find somewhere to live for the summer...

Only a madman would think that it was possible to own all the SP records on carnage. Luckily, just when you need a madman, along comes Thomas Bergendorff.

• If you've never tried this map on Nightmare then you should (unless you're a total pussy). The huge numbers of monsters and narrow corridors make it very frustrating and even with the 37 quads and huge piles of weapons and ammo this 1:28 Nightmare Run, nineteen seconds faster than Daniel, is very impressive.
• And that goes double for this 2:04 Nightmare 100%, two seconds faster than Justin to give him 70741 13v31 0wn493.

Returning to Joe for the final time to prove that Denn's prediction (above) was correct. flyer Nightmare Run in 0:13. :-)

Not content with doing some of the coolest coops around, Rickard Axelsson has finally done some demos on his own. He decided he could massively increase his popularity by taking records from the SDA staff, starting with Bergo and Pflugo's well runs.

• He started with some nice grenade work around the two switches then screwed up the boost off the knight but still managed to improve Lodis's Easy record by one second to 1:57.
• He then used the same route, with some bad grenade work around the two switches but a nice boost off the knight to improve Radix's Nightmare Run by fourteen seconds. 1:59

Our final demo comes all the way from Amrik Kochhar, who has decided to reinforce Snoop's opinion that the Easy Run of rd1m1 could be done in under 0:40 by improving it by one more second to 0:42. Who has the skillz to take this three seconds further? Well, I can think of about ten people, including both David and Amrik...

Don't forget to head on over to IllMind Moves where Ingmar has set up a quick, simple and yet fiendishly difficult trick jumping challenge on a map I'm glad someone is finally doing something with. (Yes, I know Contract Revoked used it...)

It also appears from the news item on Saturday at PlanetQuake that I inadvertantly proposed marriage to Jube in the last update! Now, I can understand the attraction of wanting to be Mrs Morfans, what with me being young(ish), devilishly handsome, criminally intelligent, staggeringly witty AND a sexual tyranosaurus, but I think my wife might have something to say about it. Sorry. :-)

Thursday, June 27th by Morfans

Lie Down With The Demos Of Lurve... - 9:24 PM

Speedrunners: You've never had it so good!

In the last three days we've had eight new demos from seven different people and none of them are people improving their own records by one second. [1] Some from established runners; some from the new runners; and one from an old face who has made one final demo. It's like slapping your cock over the demo freeway and waiting for the lights to go green. We'll start with two Id records.

I don't think anyone will be too suprised to learn that Thomas "Death Machine" Stubgaard has used the same trick as he did last update to improve the Valeriy's "optimised" Nightmare 100% of Shub's Pit. What is suprising is the way he gets the last kill. I don't think there is any doubt that it'll go down in history as the longest INK (Intermission Nail Kill) ever performed! 1:37 MUST DOWNLOAD

The second is from Jozsef Szalontai. He has done the "usual two second" improvement to Martin's Nightmare Run of the Crypt of Decay. The whole run is a little smoother than Martin's and he made it over "the bridge of death" slightly easier. But he also saved a full two seconds doing the final grenade jump off of the zombie, so I thought that this 0:44 was going to be faster. It's still MUST DOWNLOAD, though. :-)

The next demo is rather poignant. This Easy 100% of mexx5 by Mattias Berggren has taken over two and a half years to make. And it seems like it's been a hell of a time for Matti, too. So even if you don't watch the demo (which you should, because it's an arse-kicker) make sure you read the text file. It seems like this 3:02 will be his last ever speedrun. So welcome back..... and goodbye! Make sure you drop into #qdq some time.

Robert Axelsson is a cold killer. He let Ken run himself out on bfinal and then struck back with this two second improvement to the Easy Run. It's an unrelenting vore massacre, with maybe just a little touch of luck thrown in. 0:28

From the blackest depths of Russia come two more demos from Denis Nazarov, who has shown that he isn't just a man of verbal clarity but a man of huuuge bunny skillz too. He has taken both of the run records on arma2 by one second over their previous owners. The Easy in 0:28, formerly held by Marlo, and the Nightmare from Justin in 0:30. I just hope that one day Denn meets Basil on IRC. Now that would be a conversation worth trying to read. :-)

As most people are finding, bunnys alone do not make Runners Delight maps easy to run. But David Hocking has done a couple of sweet barrel jumps on rd1m1 to do the Easy Run four seconds faster than Carl's non-bunny run. 0:43.

Our final demo of the day is a three second improvement to Marlo's Easy 100% of the quad heavy carnage by Thomas "ph34r my Op" Bergendorff. Apparently, Thomas has been working on this run during some very hefty pr0n downloads recently, which explains the smoothness of this mouse action here and also why he usually goes a couple of months between demos. :-)

Finally, it's going to be tricky but I think I'm going to be able to get through mentioning that we were once again privileged to be PlanetQuake's "Site of the Day" yesterday, and that the lovely Jube gave us a very nice write up of the QdQ demo release last week without mentioning her, "being deeply touched" and "big fuzzy" all mixed up into one inuendo laden sentence.

And now, unfortunately, it's time to hit the pub. Due to a very fortuitous set of circumstances I have an evening of free drinking and food ahead of me. I can't pretend that the company will be particularly diverting but I guess one has to make certain sacrifices.

Toodle-oo!

[1] Not that improving your own record is a bad thing, you understand, but it's not as good as improving someone elses record by two or more seconds. Unless your record was thought to be optimum, then it's a major achievement. I'll tell you what, I'll shut up now. Oh, and yes, I'm aware that this isn't a record number of demos or anything but it's nice to see, none the less.

Monday, June 24th by Morfans

Here We Go Again! - 8:54 PM

Here we go with another round up of truly inspiring demos. Once again it's been a full week between new demo updates but that's just because I've been so damned busy. But nothing, I repeat NOTHING can keep a Morfy from his update for long. And now that the football has all gone to shit it should be back to business as usual, but due to a long day at work and a nasty hangover I doubt that there'll be much in this update that's actually funny. :-)

When was the last time we saw a thought-to-be-optium Id record broken? Okay, it was a few days ago with the QdQ frenzy. But before that, very rarely. And even then it's usually using a new route or trick that saves at most a half dozen seconds. But do you ever remember a new trick that cut a thought-to-be-optium Id 100% record in half? Saving more than a minute?? Well, Thomas Stubgaard has taken his place in Quake history and performed the Easy 100% of The Jelly Pit in 0:56, sixty-one seconds faster than Valeriy using the lightning through the wall trick that is usually just used to wake monsters up (on such maps as The Old Shrine Thing and The Nameless City) to cause massive amounts of quadded shaft death.

He didn't stop there, though. He tried to optimise it with quicker fish kills and managed to save that all important second to 0:55. This features an environmental intermission kill, where one of the vores didn't quite die from the lightning abuse and teleported in after the Shub telefrag. Please note that this is NOT the same as the "everything gibs" trick which is banned for demos on this map. MUST DOWNLOAD

Jozsef Szalontai is continuing to attack the Blue Hell levels. He must really need a challenge; most of us thought these levels were close to perfect already!

• He started at the beginning, which seems a sensible enough place. He improved Robert's Easy 100% of jzblue_1 by one second to 0:15.
• The natural progression from there was to jzblue_2, this time the Nightmare 100% which he did in 0:18, one second faster than Martin. Total madness.
• But he then went on to take another second of this time leaving him at 0:17. Personally, I don't think this demo looks as good as the one above but it's a whole second faster and you can't argue with that. :-)
• It seems that even this was not enough to challenge him, though, so he moved on improving a Valeriy run. I wouldn't have expected him to ever improve the Easy Run of doom2_08 by two seconds so I guess this must be opti... No. I'm not going to say it. Just in case Valeriy takes it back. 0:21.

I must also apologise to Aleksander Osipov who sent in this hip2m6 Easy Run in 1:08, two seconds faster than Justin, ten days ago, but I forgot to include it in the last update. Check out the placing of the grenade for the jump over the bars. I love shit like that. :-)

More good news, this time from Wiexing Ye. It seems that he's finished his studies for now and that should mean that he has time to make some more demos. So hopefully this fc_coag Nightmare 100% in 1:03, one second faster than his previous record, is just the start! :-)

Denis Nazarov has sent in his second demo, and while it isn't as spectacular as his previous barrel extravaganza, it shows off his bunny skills very nicely. He improved Fabian's Easy run of fatalpla by one second to 0:47. Check out the "say" bind he uses by the gold key. If I had one of those I'd end up using it more often than my jump key. :-)

Robert Axelsson, Peter Abrahamsson and Rickard Axelsson have sent in some mind melting MadCoops.

• They notched up probably the biggest "kill to time" ratio ever recorded in this OPTIMUM Easy 100% of pg4. 0:05. MUST DOWNLOAD
• They did much the same to the Nightmare 100%. I don't think that Peter missing with one rocket had any effect on the time but it takes away that air of perfection. Don't get me wrong, this 0:10 is still a great demo.
• They moved on from there to The Ogre Citadel where they did a 3-player Nightmare Run in 0:34.
• Then Peter had to step out for a while to wax his weasel, which left the other two to improve Tommi and Kari's Easy 100% of Satan's Dark Delight. The did this in file style by two seconds to 0:56.
• When Peter returned, flushed from his exertions but feeling very relaxed, they all tore into pse_xxx on Easy skill. Some mad and (usually) coordinated play gave them this sweet 1:10.

You can almost smell the testosterone in this demo from Carl "Skin" Tholin and Johan "Fluid" Nilsson. They did a screaming Nightmare Run of rd1m2 in 0:33. When they mentioned in #qdq a couple of weeks ago that they were doing some coop, and then young Andersson (D not J) also showed up we thought "Cool. Udder-fest 2002 has begun!" But no. This was the only one they did. ;-)

I'd like to finish off by giving a big "congratulations" to Quake, who celebrated her 6th birthday over the weekend. While most games, particularly action games, rarely last more than a year or two Quake continues to kick arse in a big way. And before anyone says that it's a bit wierd to celebrate a game's birthday and refer to it with a personal pronoun I would like to say that I don't care. I'm obsessed and I'm proud of it. It was only due to some fierce fighting from my wife that our son, Isaac, isn't called Telefrag.

Enjoy!

NOTE : We are having some temporary technical trouble with the Gamespy Network so that none of our perl scripts are working at the moment. The upshot is that the tables and the file download scripts are b0rked. This will hopefully be fixed in the next couple of days but in the mean time please be patient. Nolan has changed the links on this page so that they now point directly to the FilePlanet downloads and the two big "All Demo" downloads should still work fine.

Friday, June 21st by Stubby

*SURPRISE* Quake done Quick Frenzy! *SURPRISE* - 10:04 PM

Today is truly a great day folks! We have nothing less than 20 Quake done Quick demos to post! I don't think you've seen so many great demos in one update. The reason for this initiative is that the Quake done Quick projects takes forever to do, and it would be a damn shame not to let every see these outstanding demos before they get 'outdated'. The only project you won't see any demos from is tRR (the Rabbit Run), and why you ask... well, we would still like to have at least one project left with a shitload of surprises and kickass demos :)

We'll start off with the demos from Quake done 100% Quick lite 2:

• The Necropolis in 1:00 by Peter Horvath. Outstanding demo, the best ever 100% in my opinion, period! Everything in this demo is simply pixel perfect, and the grenade-jump/wall-climbing trick at the end to lure the Zombie, truly is one of the best tricks ever seen in a 100% demo! And not to mention the perfectly placed grenade on the gold key platform, talk about skillz!! Peter is the devil himself....he truly is!
• Gloom Keep in 0:47 by Jozsef Szalontai. Pure madness from the Bunny Machine. Originally the demo that Jozsef had done for Qd100Qlite2 used the same route as always, but Stefan came up with an idea which enabled Joe to improve it by a few more seconds. It involves a new route.... I used to think Ilkka's e1m5_055 was unbeatable :)
• The Installation in 1:09 by Peter Horvath. This was the demo which kicked off the Qd100Qlite2 project, and what a way to do it! We all thought that this demo would carry the whole project, but that was until e1m3 came along :) But I'd say that this demo is one of the greatest 100% demos ever too!
• Termination Central in 1:10 by Martin Selinus. Martin has done an outstanding job on this map. I can't spot a single mistake in this demo. And the bunnies... oh my oh my! I doubt that this demo can be improved by much more.... But please prove me wrong if you're up for the challenge!
• The Sewage System in 0:53 by Jozsef Szalontai. Originally Ilkka had done the demo for the project, but soon after Peter did his e4m1_058 (Nightmare 100% demo which makes use of the nailgun intermission kill trick), it came apparent that Ilkka's demo wouldn't stand long.... Joe took it upon himself to deliver a piece of art. TWO intermission kills!! What more can you ask for? :)

Next up we have one demo from Quake done 100% Quick with a Vengeance:

• Termination Central in 1:30 by Me. Well, I don't usually like to flatter myself, but this demo is surely one of my best ever. It delivers very good/precise aim, nice bunnies, and lots of action. I totally inverted the old route, but that meant I had to make use of the bunny-slope jump to the window, just like in the runs on this map. And that's not an easy thing to do in a Nightmare 100% demo!

And finally we have an amazing amount of demos from Quake done double Quick lite: (the first 5 demos have been improved and you can get the faster demos beneath)

• Slipgate Complex in 0:21 by Attila & Peter. This demo was made before the barrel boost was invented....
• Castle of the Damned in 0:30 by Sergi & Jordi. A bit sloppy play, but not a bad demo at all. As you can see beneath, they improved it by one second with a lesser sloppy demo :)
• Ogre Citadel in 0:31 by Sergi & Jordi. Ehm, nothing much to say about this one. Same tricks and same route as Martin and Jonny's demo, just slighty slower.
• The Sewage System in 0:16 by Attila & Peter. Do the curl at the start, add some shotgun boosts, and use the 'get-out-of-the-water-fast' trick, then this demo is a piece of cake :)
• The Tower of Despair in 0:30 by Attila & Peter. The quad boost is quite cool, but as you can see from Martin and Niklas' 0:29 demo, it wasn't much of a timesaver after all.

This is the current state of the art, satisfaction guaranteed!:

• Slipgate Complex in 0:20 by Attila & Peter. Simply the best 2 player coop run ever in my opinion. The speed and the tricks are simply out of this world! It's a masterpiece indeed. The coolest thing is when Peter overtakes Attila by the slime :)
• Castle of the Damned in 0:29 by Sergi & Jordi. Overall smoother play than their 0:30 demo. The quad-boosts worked perfectly.
• The Necropolis in 0:25 by Sergi & Jordi. One of the most prestigious maps to conquer, and also one of the hardest to master, but the two Spaniards came up with ways to deal with all the tricky parts on this map.
• The Installation in 0:06 by Attila & Peter. Simple, but very effective boosts enabled the coop Gods to make the shortest 2 player coop on an id map ever! Is 0:05 possible? I think NOT!!! OPTMIZED!
• Ogre Citadel in 0:30 by Martin & Jonny. They made this demo during DreamHack, the biggest LAN event ever in Scandinavia (at least as far as I know). As you can see (if you're scandinavian that is) from the comments at the end of this demo, they weren't satisfied with this demo, but I don't know what kept them from improving it even further? Maybe it was the german anal drilling porn that ran nonstop on the big monitors that kept them from focusing on Quake....
• Termination Central in 0:23 by Sergi & Jordi. Two perfectly placed shotgun boost, and the window curl trick enabled the two Spaniards to do this difficult coop demo.
• The Sewage System in 0:15 by Martin & Anders. I was absolutely sure that Peter and Attila's 0:16 demo was optimized, but then Martin and Anders comes along and destroys my predictions with this optimized demo! :)
• The Tower of Despair in 0:29 by Martin & Niklas. Martin has this demo under full control. He even manages to shotgun boost Niklas while bunnying himself! Pretty impressive stuff.
• The Elder God Shrine in 0:35 by Martin & Robin. This is one of my favorite coop demos, due to the highly spectacular quad boosts and all the bunny madness. But wouldn't it be faster if player 1 used the same route as in the single player runs, or did I miss something obvious?

Keep in mind that this doesn't mean the Quake done Quick projects I've mentioned above has moved any closer to completion, you'll just have to crack your knuckles in anticipation for some time to come, it's as simple as that. In the famous words (slightly changed) of id Software; "They're done when they're done!" :)

To sum this up, I think we've fed you with enough ID demos for many months to come, and this should also give you an insight into the current state of the Quake done Quick projects.

To round this mammoth update off we have a new handful of demos on the Bunny Comparison page, including an insane e1m6 from Timo in 9:66! I've also posted two of the demos that weren't available before, e1m1 by Markus and e2m1 by Fabian. And finally I just wanna say how proud I am of my e2m1 demo! I'm getting close to be one of the 'Filthy Few' :)

ENJOY!!!

Tuesday, June 18th by Morfans

Ride My Balls! - 10:04 AM

We will dive straight in to the demos this week with Jozsef Szalontai and two MUST DOWNLOAD demos on jzblue_4.

• Just a day after saying "It might be possible to do the Nightmare 100% a second faster with a Chthon ball boost" he comes up with this amazingly accurate boost over the bars. 0:14, one second faster.
• And the same for the Easy 100%. One second faster than Sergi. 0:12.

We have finally had a proper run demo from RotW regular and Russian lingual contortionist Denis Nazarov. He has beaten DanielL's Easy Run of endtime by five seconds to get 0:49 in a demo he describes as "fully suxx and talentless", but which I would describe as "pretty bloody amazing". A double-slope-bunny jump, two well executed barrel jumps and loads of lovely curly bunnying. If you think this is talentless then I can't wait to see some demos that you're actually happy with! :-)

Speaking of talentless, Thomas "Scrotally Capacious" Stubgaard has done two improvements to Id Nightmare 100% records.

• First, he improved his current time on the incredibly frustrating Ziggurat Vertigo by three seconds to 1:16. It includes a nice example of the typical Danish "handbag snatch" just before the pent.
• Then he improved his record on The Underearth by five more seconds in a completely mad demo with much rushing backwards and forwards and grenades and axes flying all over the place. And because he also got an intermission grenade kill, he gets a MUST DOWNLOAD. 2:44.

Arturo Garcia Lasca has once again gone vore hunting on bfinal. This time he improved Robert's Easy Run by one second to 0:30. Go on Ken, try the Nightmare run. :-P

Showing that there's still some fight left in Denmark after their recent World Cup disappointment we have Mads-Peter Stubgaard. He tackled the Easy 100% of coopmine seventeen seconds faster than Matthias, exiting in 2:14.

Talking of weirdos, Amrik Kochhar has turned in a lovely piece of enforcer-boosted action, beating his old Easy Run of dxm by one second by managing to ride the boost up to the switch first time. This 0:12 will be very hard to beat, but I'm not giving it an optimum because I'm running really late and don't have time to change the history.txt entry. :-)

So we'll finish off the week's action with a couple of coops from Myself and Nolan Pflug. Before the weekend we briefly had time to have a run around on mexx9c, managing to get the Easy 100% down to 2:48(5:00) before time ran out on us. Then this morning, rather than finishing this update like I told everyone I would, we had another go at it. This time we did a much better 2:38.

I know it's been over a week since the last update, but a combination of watching the football, talking about the football, and drinking while talking about and watching the football has got in the way. Still, Thomas and Thomas should have plenty of time to update now that their respective countries and gone out. A fact made all the more galling because the US are still in. :-)

So expect a BIG suprise update at the end of the week. And while you're waiting, enjoy the demos.

Monday, June 10th by Morfans

Alex Wins The Dollar!! - 10:54 PM

Congratulations are due to Aleksander Osipov who was lucky enough to be our 300000th satisfied customer. (See here for the evidence). He walks off with the big cash prize and the promise of Danish sexual pleasures for the female of his choice! Truly it has been said: "SDA : Better than a lottery in a whorehouse."

Just for a change, we'll start the update with me. I've done one final (for now) demo on mexx9d, the Easy 100% in 5:54, just three seconds faster than Matthias.

And now we have some outstanding coops from Alex and Timo Nieminen. When Alex announced on Saturday in #qdq that Timo was coming over to visit and they would be doing some coops we naturally expected some rather special demos to be produced. When they both appeared back in the channel some hours later it was clear that they'd both been hitting the beers and the bongs (and, indeed, the beer bongs) a bit hard and it looked like the chance of them beating any records was slim at best. But luckily they seemed to sober up a little for Sunday and these were the results...

• Some nice loopy shotgun-and-slope acrobatics gave them a two second improvement over Attila and Peter's Easy Run of The Grizzly Grotto. 0:21.
• Then they optimised, yes, OPTIMISED, the Easy Run of The Door To Chthon with an 0:08 second run, one second faster than Attila and Peter. MUST DOWNLOAD.
• The wicked discharge jump and (I guess) some better bunnies in the Wind Tunnels improved Jonny and Daniel's Easy Run by one second to 0:33.
• The only Easy 100% of the session is also my favourite demo of the session. They improved Evan and Cameron's record on The Elder God Shrine by nine seconds. When you've drunk and smoked as much as these guys seemed to there is no way you should have enough control to do a quad boost off the knight by the gold key and be able to maintain the speed round the sharp lefthand corner and through both doors. It's just unnecessary showing off! 0:52.
• Their final demo looks like it might be optimum, too. It would certainly be hard work to save another .7 of a second, but just in case Joe and Markus ever get together and coop this record will not be added to the unbeatable list. This Hells Atrium Easy Run in 0:10 is also a MUST DOWNLOAD.
• They also played a bit of deathmatch when they were too frazzled to run. You can watch the results here. This demo is not included in the all demos download below as it was getting a bit big already and I know some of you poor, deprived people out there are running on slow modems. :-)

It must be exam time in New Zealand, because we've received a couple of demos from Tim Doherty.

• First he recaptured the Easy 100% of abw from Stefan by three seconds. 2:24.
• Then he destroyed my table filler Nightmare 100% of fmb8 by fifty-nine seconds demonstrating how lame the second and third fifths of my demo were. The ending of this 9:45 is a little messy and cautious, though, so maybe I'll give him a fight for it. :-)

It seems that the addition of bunnies to RDE has not been universally applauded! Carl Tholin has seen this as a blasphemy and to prove his point has improved his Easy 100% of rd1m2 without using bunnies by eleven seconds to 1:07. That's only four seconds slower that Joe's bunnied version.

David Hocking, on the other hand, is revelling in the new speed possibilities. He beat Ilkka's old Easy Run of rd1m3 by three seconds to get 0:36. He was a little unlucky with the boost at the end, but made up for it with a nicely aimed gren boost off a knight right to the exit door.

If you're going to try and take a couple of records on a map, you might as well choose some by the less optimal runners. But not if you're Arturo Garcia Lasca, who has improved the 100% records on bfinal, formerly held by Ilkka and Valeriy.

• Ilkka's Easy 100% dropped first, initially by one second to 0:38 and then the next day by one more second. 0:37.
• Valeriy's Nightmare 100% took a three second pasteing down to 0:41. This is a great demo, IMHO, even if Ken doesn't think so. ;-)

Bringing up the rear is Jozsef Szalontai who has once again proven the old speedrunning saying that "It can always be done faster (by Jozsef)!". He improved Robert's Nightmare 100% of jzblue_4 by one second to 0:15.

And that's all the demos I'm going to let you have for now. Except for the new stack that Stubby has added to the Bunny Comparison page. Highlights include a cool e1m6 from Timo and Joe moving to within 0.01 seconds of Markus's e2m1 time! He also removed the 110M Hurdles map from the page since noone has done any demos for it.

Finally, head on over to IllMind Moves which Ingmar has once again updated with some l00ny tricks and quirks. Whatever you do, don't miss Stubby's insane e4m3 rocket demo (with cool Vondur recam). It has to be seen to be believed.

Friday, June 7th by Morfans

I Boned Yo Biatch Today! - 6:06 PM

This update is all about numbers, folks. That's right. Numbers.

Firstly, the demos from the last update have given us a few cool landmarks.

• The mexx9d coop was not only Nolan's 100th coop demo, but it also moved Me into the top twenty on the main Player Statistics page!
• That update also gave us our first change to the top three on the Player Stats in a long, long time as his czg07c demo finally allowed Daniel Hansson to usurp Ilkka from the number three spot he's held for the last couple of years.

But the big news is that we are a mere few hundred hits away from the big three-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! (That's three hundred thousand). This calls for a celebration and quite possibly a big prize give away! So if you can get take a screen shot of the hit counter at 300000 and mail it to me then some, one, none or all of the following prizes could be yours!!!

• Your name mentioned in the next update! (Assuming we've hit 300000 by then).
• A selection of various cool things that we'll promise you but never deliver!
• The chance for your girlfriend/sister/mother to travel to Denmark (at their own expense) and spend a night of love with Stubby The Viking Sex Machine! [1]
• One US dollar, which looks genuine to me, that someone sent me through the post as an advertising gimmick! (Postal address needed if you want this. Sending cash through the post to other countries is (I think) illegal but what the fuck).

So there you go. Fame, stuff, sex and money. What more could you want!

Todays final numbers are the number ONE and the number NIL. 'Nuff said. :-)

[1] I've assummed that the winner will be male. If you are female then you can choose to go to Denmark yourself or, as a special "chicks only" bonus prize, once you've spent the night in Denmark you can travel to Sweden and find out why Lodis is known as Big Bergie.

Wednesday, June 5th by Morfans

Delightful Demos! - 6:52 PM

Football fever has gripped the entire civilised world. And while the civilised world is enjoying such sights as an inferior Swedish team drawing with a crap English team; the French losing; and the Saudi's getting narrowly beaten 8-0, the US is looking on with some confusion. According to one highly respected source[1] the three most common questions in the United states at the moment are...

1. Well gee whizz! How can they say this is a WORLD cup? Most of the teams aren't even American!
2. Tar ma hide and shut ma mouth! How can they call this football? They keep using their feet to hit the ball!
3. I want another burger.[2]

This, of course, doesn't include any Americans associated with, formerly associated with, who've submitted demos to or who read this site, or the families, friends and non-conjugal pets thereof.

Anyway, all this hasn't done anything to lower the quality of the demos we've received this week. Starting with the new, bunny-enabled RDE.

• The first demo to fall before the all-conquering bunny's fluffy jackboot was Ilkka's incredible rd1m2 Easy Run. Robert Axelsson returns to SP form with this 0:22, one second faster.
• But that didn't last long as Jozsef Szalontai began his assault on the RDE levels with this 0:21. You simply MUST DOWNLOAD this demo to see where he finds the extra second.
• He then did the Easy 100% on the same map in 1:03, 15 seconds faster than Carl's non-bunny version. This would also have been a MUST DOWNLOAD except that the grenade work at the end is slightly messy. :-P
• He then did the Easy Run of rd1m4 in 0:29, two seconds faster than Ilkka's dead bunny run.
• Robert teamed up with his brother Rickard Axelsson in a display of pure coop running on rd1m1.
  • They did the HUUUGGGGGE quad SSG boost even earlier than Peter and Attila did in their Nightmare Run. That and the addition of a bunny or two saved them two seconds to 0:18.
  • It was much the same story using a cool triple quad boomstick boost on the Easy Run. Two seconds faster than Ilkka and Juho gave them this 0:19

Arturo Garcia Lasca couldn't wait for Weixing to reply to his sgodrun2 Nightmare Long Way Run and went ahead and improved it himself by two seconds to 1:31.

Daniel Hansson, who for some reason hasn't done any RDE bunny demos yet, has a simple philosophy: If he invents a trick, he's having the record. So with this in mind he improved Jonny's Easy run of czg07c by one second to 0:30. If you don't know this level really well you will never keep up with the route. Loads of twisting and turning and jumping while looking straight at the floor make this a very fast, but very confusing demo. :-)

I decided that my two recent demos on mexx9d just weren't risky enough and so set about improving them both.

• First the nIGHTMARE rUN IN (DAMN, cAPS lOCK IS ON. ONE SECOND. That's better) the far more respectable time of 7:49, eighty-three seconds faster than my previous.
• And the Nightmare 100% in 9:08, 137 seconds faster than my previous demo and eight seconds faster than the Nightmare Run I posted last week. :-)

Such mexx9d based antics allow us to segue nicely into the remainder of this weeks coop action with Nolan Pflug and Myself teaming up to do the first ever coop on this huge map. Despite Nolan having a 250 ping and me having a natural 250 ping we did a very nice Easy 100% in 3:55(5:57). Due to a bug in the QC for this map Nolan had to hack the progs to allow us to get all the kills. If you wish to do 100% coops yourself on this map you'll either have to wait for him to do a full QdQstats progs.dat for it or ask us to send you the hacked version.

Back to The Axelsson Brothers Formation Death Team for the final demo of the update. They followed up their Easy 100% of doom2_04 from the last update with a Nightmare Version in the time of 0:34, three seconds faster than Stefan and Matthias.

Keep 'em coming, folks. The springtime of lovin' is over and it's time for the summer of runnin' to get under way. We'll have some more new maps for you soon and also a throat-rippingly good suprise, which I'm not going to tell you any more about yet otherwise it wouldn't be a suprise. And don't bug me about it either. Bug Tha' Choirfella, it was his bright idea. :-)

[1] Actually, I made it all up to try and get a cheap laugh.
[2] Okay, so this isn't actually a question, but I'm not going to let grammar get in the way of me insulting a quarter of a billion people.

Friday, May 31st by Morfans

Bunny's Delight! - 11:11 PM

Those of you who hang around in #qdq will know that this week we have added five new maps to the archive. Well, I say "new" maps but I think you'll find them strangely familiar. For some weeks now, people have been nagging, badgering, hectoring, mythering and cajoling Jesse Van Dijk to release a bunny-enabled version of his popular Runner's Delight custom episode. So off he went to talk to the technical guru and sure enough, one quick wave of Nolan's magic todger and Bunny's Delight was ready for release.

For those of you who don't know, Runner's Delight was a non-linear 5 level custom episode that Jesse first released in 1976, nearly twenty years before Quake was even invented. Back then, of course, people were very suspicious of the Satanic practise known as "jumping like the bunny" and so it had the infamous ABC (Anti-Bunny Code) included to ensure that people ran the levels in a clean and wholesome manner. These days everyone loves to bunny, so having the chance to play these levels in an unrestricted manner has caused a few excited ripples around the speedrunning world.

To submit a demo on these maps simply follow these few rules...

• Get the full version of Runner's Delight from here. If you already have the full "no bunny" version then you just need to get this progs.dat and use it instead of the one you already have.
• Get running! You can submit demos on any of the current RDE levels and also do marathon runs through the whole episode.
• New records will be added to the bottom of the existing page under the heading Unrestricted Bunnies in a similar manner to a long way run.
• Unrestricted bunny demos must be faster than the existing non-bunny record.
• Name you demos exactly as you would do normally. I.e. rd1_xxx, rd2_xxx, rd3_xxx, rd4_xxx and rde_xxx.
• You can still submit non-bunny RDE demos exactly as before.
• If you have any other questions, please ask one of us.

And now, on with the rest of the update...

Arturo Garcia Lasca has decided that Weixing can't have everything his own way on sgodrun2 and has fought back with three very cool demos.

• He improved OpenGL's Long Way Easy Run twice in the same day using some new route tweaks. First by two seconds to 1:28, and then by another three seconds to 1:25.
• Then he did the same thing to the Nightmare Long Way Run, boosting and bouncing his way to an eight second improvement to 1:33. So Ken has shown the upstart that he can't have everything his own way, but when you consider how much Weixing has improved over the last few months it will be interesting to see who ends up on top. :-)

When it comes to giving demos the old double plus treatment there are no two finer exponents than The Hungarian Bunny Machine and The Russian Optimising Machine. As with all optimum runs, these are MUST DOWNLOAD simply for the reason that you would be a fool not to watch such fine examples of near perfect timing and play. And if you think that this praise is over the top, watch them and think again.

• Valeriy Burmistrov has somehow managed to improve his maximum telefraggage on pg4 by one second to 0:08.
• But for some people even an eight second demo is too long. Jozsef Szalontai has managed an even better barrel boost in his Easy Run of alpha001 which was enough to save him another second. 0:06.

Clocking in at the slightly longer time of 9:12 we have Me improving Matthias's Nightmare Run of mexx9d by sixty-six seconds. This demo, as poor as it is, is dedicated to the England Football team who start their World Cup campaign against Sweden this Sunday. I know a lot of Swedes visit this site and, as a member of the SDA staff, I will, of course, keep any comments about non speedrunning matters strictly neutral. Apart from a quick "You can stick your Ljungberg up your arse. EN-GER-LUND. Bring it on Sweden, we're ready for j00!"

Which brings us quite neatly to a couple of Swedes that we haven't seen for a while. Robert and Rickard Axelsson have made there return by stamping all over Stefan and Matthias's Easy 100% of doom2_04. The Axelsson Attack obviously still works because this four second faster 0:33 is really rather nice.

Before I go I would just like to repeat something for the 450th time. When you're sending in your demos for the Bunny Comparison page, please make our life easier by sending them to Stubby only. Even if you're a Swede, that's no excuse. It isn't difficult. :-P So head on over to the Bunny Comparison page and watch the eleven new demos. Including an insane demo which takes over the first place spot on E1M6!

Tuesday, May 28th by Stubby

There's A Rabbit Loose! - 11:01 PM

Yet again my inbox has been ravaged by an amazing amount of bunny demos! I've added e4m5 to the page too. You can get all the bunny demos here. Check out the page to see who did the new demos....

The cheated site has been really slow lately, but a few demos do tend to pop up once in a while. Jozsef's ee1_207 is a must-see! Head on over to the cheated site and download all four demos :)

Monday, May 27th by Morfans

I've Seen All Seven Faces - 10:31 PM

After being down for most of the weekend due to technical difficulties on the GameSpy Network we appear to be back up and running. I have been assured that the problems with their shitty advertising code have been fixed, so please let me know if you are still getting any problems. (NOTE: I will be very disappointed if I don't get at least a dozen mails following this update hilariously saying "I can't see the site at the moment...")

Our first demos today are the sixth and seventh consecutive improvements to the Easy 100% of empire by Jonny Andersson. He started out by running his usual route two seconds faster than his previous best, taking the time down to 2:30. Then he did something that none of us thought Pretty Balls could do. He thought about it. This led to a big route change and a saving of another six seconds down to 2:24.

Three very nice improvements to sgodrun2 records from Weixing Ye, who looks like he's soon going to become the new HFR bunny guru.

• He improved Ken's Long Way Easy Run by six seconds using the three tricks that I always hoped I'd see someone do on this run: Trigger the rune at the start; GJ up to the SNG trigger; quad GJ down the long lava room. 1:30. This demo gives him total ownage of every SP record possible on this map.
• He also improved his Nightmare Long Way Run by loads of seconds using the same route (except, obviously, for the quad boost) to 1:41.
• Then he replaced his rubbishy Easy 100% with this much better 3:27. 146 seconds faster.

One demo only this week from Jozsef Szalontai, but it's up to his normal standard. He improved Ilkka's Easy 100% of his own (Illqwa's not Jozz's) map, mcomplex, by eleven seconds to 1:39.

Finally, I made two bitch-kicking Nightmare 100% improvements.

• First, I picked a map at randon from the least popular maps list. It happened to be mcm01. This turned out to be quite a cool map and I wondered why it was unpopular. Then I tried it at "run speed" and I realised that the middle room is an absolute whore. 2:49, twenty-seven seconds faster than Stefan.
• Then I tried the longest record I could find, Matthias's mexx9d epic. A little aggressive play netted me a one hundred and ninety second improvement down to 11:24.

I'll finish with a little gentle reminder (and a dire warning) to you all. When sending in your Bunny Comparison demos, no matter how good they are, please send them to Stubby only. Repeated failure to do so will result in you catching the rough edge of his tongue, and as one poor unfortunate[1] this week can tell you, it's not a pleasant experience. :-)

Enjoy the demos, Biatches!

[1] I won't say who, but in the style of a Daily Telegraph crossword clue. Scottish understanding a thousand in French (3).

Thursday, May 23rd by Stubby

Bunny Madness and SpeedCon Vids! - 7:39 PM

Once again a big handful of bunny demos has ravaged my inbox....

Demos on 100m:

• Robert Axelsson - 10.90 (this one includes the strangest bunnies I've ever seen!)
• David Hocking - 11.35
• Tore Nyholm - 11.82

Demos on 110m:

• Robert Axelsson - 13.32

Demos on e1m1:

• David Hocking - 24.99

Demos on e1m6:

• Tore Nyholm - 10.54

Demos on e2m1:

• Timo Nieminen - 7.98 (Timo is now one of the 'Filthy Few' :)
• Tore Nyholm - 8.80
• Keith Fancher - 9.06
• Jesse van Dijk - 9.26

Some time ago Fabian sent me some video clips from SpeedCon 2000 and SpeedCon 2001, for me to upload. It was Will's job to do an update about them, but since he forgot all about it, I guess I'll do it instead :)

• sc2000 will_flop_1.mpg. This won't come as no surprise....
• sc2000 will_flop_2.mpg. Neither will this....
• sc2001 alex_guitar_short.mpg. Aleksander pretending to be James Hedfield, but fails miserably :)
• sc2001 chess_ownage.mpg. CHECKMATE IN 3 DRAWS!!!
• sc2001 comments.mpg. I have no clue what this is all about, ask the people involved instead :)
• sc2001 ilkka_piano.mpg. Ilkka showing off his true skillz!
• sc2001 marlo_owning_ilkka.mpg. Go-cart madness!
• sc2001 puked_couch_talk.mpg. Will is at it again!
• sc2001 rob_flop.mpg. Don't ask, coz I don't know....

Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 22nd by Morfans

You looking at me? - 6:40 PM

I'd like to start off by asking if you've all watched my demos on the Bunny Comparison page? No? Not suprising really since I can't get under most of the qualifying times. :-) But I'm now within a few tenths of a couple of them so unless you want to be official labelled "Worse Than Morfy" you'd better get your arse[1] on the tables pronto.

It's good to see that Anders Nordensten is back in the demo making groove. This week he has taken on the records on disgrace, a map formerly owned by Big Danny Lindberg.

• The Easy Run.... he hasn't tried yet.
• The Easy 100% saw two improvements.
  • First he gave a little one second tickle to Daniel's record to give him a 0:48.
  • But he didn't think that was good enough, and a couple of days later he got this 0:47.
• The Nightmare Run gave him his biggest improvement over a Lindbo record. He threw out all caution and took eleven seconds off the time, getting 0:48. Impressive.
• But the best of all (in my ever-so-humble opinion) was his one second improvement of the Nightmare 100%. The huge amount of red armour in this level allowed him to go rocket crazy in this 1:02.
• He also proved he has some top class bunny skillz by doing a 0:33 of sgodrun2. Shame OpenGL already did it last week. :-)

Speaking of top class bunny skillz, Jonny "Da BomB" Andersson has shaken his pert buttocks over his Easy 100% of empire which gave him a 2:32, three seconds faster than the non-buttocked version.

And still keeping on the subject of top class bunny skillz for our final demo of the day we have Me filling the gap for the Nightmare 100% Marathon of daz in the scorching time of 5:34. To be honest, this has nothing to do with bunny skillz, top class or otherwise. I was just sat there on Sunday night waiting for a MadCoop to start but people were faffing about so I recorded this to pass the time. To be absolutely frank with you it isn't really very good. :-)

It's now been three months since we closed the doors on The Nolans 2001 so I think it's time to have a look at the feedback that people gave. It seems to be have been overwhelmingly positive with some very constructive suggestions and so I guess we'll be doing it again. It looks like the custom demos will be split into more categories and a couple of other categories will be removed from the next year's big vote. Bizarrely enough, though, two people voted "Was this worth doing : No" and "Shall we do it again next year : Yes"!

Go figure. :-)

[1] I do, of course mean your demos and not your arse. That was just a little poetic license. Under no circumstances should you send body parts to Stubbz as he will only eat them.

Tuesday, May 21st by Stubby

The War Has Just Begun! - 11:32 PM

I'm amazed! I've received no less than 21 demos for the new Bunny Comparison page! But things aren't just all good, a problem, or shall we say "conflict", occured when Jonny sent in an e1m1 demo that was actually faster than the SDA record!! The problem is of course that we've been trying to keep the times from the upcoming QdQ production, tRR (Rabbit Run - The Movie), a secret, and until now we've succeeded fairly well in doing just that. But seeing as Jonny's demo isn't part of any QdQ project, it would be unfair not to post it on the Bunny Comparison page. This doesn't mean that Jonny will have the e1m1 Easy Run record on SDA, a few people has done 0:22 before him and even 0:21, BUT these demos won't be available for download until the project is released, but the times will be available on the Bunny Comparison page, as well as Jonny's 0:22 demo. I guess it's about time we remove Markus' e1m1_023 from the unbeatable list :)

Well, seeing as this new page is so successful, I think it will be appropiate to list the new times here on the main page....

Demos on 100m:

• Timo Nieminen - 10.66
• Dan Stukanev - 11.25
• Mads-Peter Stubgaard - 11.55

Demos on e1m1:

• Peter Horvath - 21.86 !!!!!
• Jonny Andersson - 22.44
• Markus Taipale - 22.96
• Jozsef Szalontai - 22.97
• Martin Selinus - 23.32
• Daniel Hansson - 23.92
• Attila Csernyik - 23.96
• Tore Nyholm - 25.19
• Mads-Peter Stubgaard 25.94

Demos on e1m6:

• Attila Csernyik - 9.81
• Martin Selinus - 9.85
• Timo Nieminen - 9.94
• Jonny Andersson - 10.26
• Thomas Stubgaard - 10.56

Demos on e2m1:

• Markus Taipale - 7.86
• Fabian Kollakowski - 7.94
• Jozsef Szalontai - 7.95
• Attila Csernyik - 7.97
• Martin Selinus - 7.98
• Timo Nieminen - 8.09
• Jonny Andersson - 8.12
• Tim Doherty - 9.28

Other news:

There's some stuff happening at the player profiles as well: Denis 'Yoda' Nazarov has filled out a profile which you can check here. Anders Nordensten has updated his picture to reveal his true self.... have a look. And finally Aleksander Osipov has re-newed his profile which you can read here. Check out the picture too! That's hardcore Quake jumping....

Sunday, May 19th by Stubby

Compare Your Bunny Skillz! - 5:41 PM

You know how everybody likes to compare their bunny skills on e1m1, e2m1, 100m, etc. Well, now you can compare your skills with all the other runners on this little nifty page I made for just that purpose.

A few things to take note of:

• Name your demos e1m1_yourname, 100m_yourname etc.
• No text files are needed.
• Play on Easy Skill (skill 0).
• Send your demos to stubgaard
• This isn't part of any rotw contest, this page is just meant for people to show off their true bunny skillz :)

A big thanks goes out to Stefan Schwoon who fixed the tables on SDA. It was a silly mistake I made when I messed around with my last update. I'm not gonna tell you what it is, because it's just plain stupidity from my side :)

Saturday, May 18th by Stubby

Weekly demo update - 10:18 PM

Just a quick update to remind everybody that I'm still alive and doing well...and also to let Richard have a little breather from the massive amount of demo updates he has done recently.

Weixing Ye put his greasy hands all over sgodrun2.

• Easy run in 0:33, 1 second faster than Arturo.
• Nightmare Run in 0:33, 1 second faster than Arturo.
• Nightmare Run (the long way) in 2:35, new to the tables.
• Easy 100% in 5:53, new to the tables.
• Nightmare 100% in 4:33, 66 seconds faster than Richard.

The next set of demos is on the massive fmb8.

• Anders Nordensten was the first to try the Easy 100%, which he did in 5:35.
• But soon after Hannu Kankaanpaa improved it to 4:56.
• Richard filled the tables and did the Nightmare 100% in 10:44.

The war continues on spd.

• Arturo fought back and took the Easy 100% from Hannu by 1 second to get 0:41.
• But Hannu made up for the lost record by doing the Nightmare 100% in 1:07.

Jozsef Szalontai has gone bunny mad on The Nameless City.

• He improved his Nightmare Run by one more second to get 0:42. MUST DOWNLOAD

And finally two coops to finish off all the demos with.

• Drew Van Lanen, Josh Zayas, Gaylord (!!) and Jakob Huddgins did the Easy 100% of bbelief1 in 0:40.
• Daniel Hansson, Me, Jesse, Richard and Will did the Easy 100% of The Elder World in 9:01.

If you encounter any errors with this update, please don't hesitate to inform us about it. The tables on SDA are down for some weird reason, and that means I can't check if the tables are linked correctly. You should be able to download all the demos even though the tables are down, if not, then you can always download the big .dz, but hopefully everything should be in order.

Also, It would be nice if people would stop bugging us for updates, we're doing this for our own enjoyment too, it's not like we're getting paid for it, so please have some patience. This is hard work, and not something you just piece together in 10 minutes. Actually we're doing updates far more frequently than back in the old days when you didn't see an update for ages :)

And let's clear out another thing: The demos you see in topic in our IRC channel, is only demos done on NEW maps, and NOT all the demos we've received in our inbox. So please stop asking stupid questions about why there aren't any more demos than those we show in topic...I hope that made sense :)

Final news of the evening is that Nolan has fixed a few more bugs and released version 2.81 of Dzip

Saturday, May 11th by Morfans

Feel The Width. - 4:57 PM

These last few days has seen a bit of a rumpus, a kerfuffle, a pagga, a duel, a joust, a skuffle, a rough-house, a head to head, or even, if you'll indulge me a little further, a clash between two speedrunning gladiators over the Easy 100% of spd between the reigning champion Arturo Garcia Lasca and challenger Hannu Kankaanpää.

• Hannu started off by improving Ken's run by two seconds to 0:47 with some added telefrag madness.
• Then Stubbz updated the tables but I didn't do an update, so Ken downloaded the demo, said "ahhhh, that's how you do the second shamblefrag" and used the new tricks to take another three seconds off the time, getting a 0:44.
• Losing the record before it had even been posted in an update did not please Hannu one little bit. In a fit of anger and screaming for revenge he managed to produce this outstanding 0:42. This looks like it'll take some beating.

So, that's both runs optimised and the Easy 100% close to optimised. Who now has the balls to tackle the Nightmare 100%?

Speaking of balls, Amrik Kochhar has done two nice marathons on the daz maps.

• First he improved his Easy Run by three more seconds. 1:43.
• Then he filled the Easy 100% gap with this 3:55. See if you can spot the slightly less than flawless play around the gold key in the second map. :-)

This week has seen a good amount of Mad Coop action. These demos come to you courtesy of #qdq by Thomas Stubgaard, Thomas Bergendorff, Will Marsh, Jesse van Dijk and Myself.

• Me, Stubbz and Will made three arse kicking demos.
  • We improved our Easy 100% marathon of The Realm of Black Magic by thirty-two seconds to 8:08. That's twenty-seven seconds faster than the EH4 and would have been under the eight minute mark if we hadn't have had a little disaster in e2m4.
  • We then tried a whole load of different routes on The Palace of Hate before we got this 1:11, twenty-three seconds faster than the EH2.
  • Actually, that's only two demos. Oh well, I don't suppose anyone will notice.
• Bergie hosted a couple of sessions with Me and Stubbz.
  • We had some excellent axe based fun doing the Easy 100% in The Haunted Halls, beating the EH2 by eight seconds to get 1:03.
  • And in contrast we had a totally shit time doing the Easy 100% in the Chambers of Torment. I have never before found myself hating doing a coop, and we were all incredibly relieved when we got this 1:23. If anyone wants to beat this record you're totally welcome to it.
• Lodis also hosted a mammoth four player Easy 100% of The Whole of Quake with Jesse, Will and Thomas. The play was as mad as expected and they managed to kill Shub in 50:19, less than four minutes faster than the SP time but still quite an achievement. NOTE: This huge demo is not in the "All demos download" at the end of the update. It's just too damned big. But if anyone want's to sit through three and a half hours of unplanned running then go for it. I did. I watched the whole thing in slow motion, in fact, just to check for cheating. :-)

Since Nolan "ph34r my mighty degree" Pflug is too modest (or idle;-)) to mention it himself, for those of you that don't already know there's a new, improved version of Dzip available for download. Go get it now and spend the rest of the weekend looking for bugs.

And finally, if it's not already too late, head over to Acid's Joint where upstart site PlanetDeusEx is up against our hosting site PlanetQuake in their latest poll. Now, PlanetQuake's advertising has now gone to such ridiculous extremes that I dread tuning in to read the news, but they still host the mighty Archive and are a nice bunch, so go vote!

I am now so tired that I have been officially classified as dead. The only thing that's keeping me going is the prospect of more Mad Coops. Don't let me die, people...

Monday, May 6th by Morfans

Do Try To Be Civil. - 10:21 AM

Time for another round up of the latest comings and goings on the new maps. Or, in fact, on one of the new maps.

The battle for the records on civil has been fierce over the last couple of days. Who came out on top? Read on and you shall discover...

• The Easy Run saw two cool improvements.
  • Amrik Kochhar earned himself the prize for "best looking curly jump back from the key" on his way to getting this 0:41, two seconds faster than Hannu.
  • Then Daniel Hansson tackled the deathknight switch in a different way and boosted himself to 0:40.
• The Nightmare Run was an even bigger ruck.
  • Amrik opened the batting by equaling what was at the time the Easy Run record of 0:43. Honourable mention to Dan Stukanev who's 0:43 arrived soon afterwards.
  • Then Arturo Garcia Lasca entered the fray with this 0:42.
  • But Daniel wasn't in the mood to fuck about and stormed in with a 0:40, using the same boost as his Easy Run.
• The Easy 100% saw Daniel rip the face off of Amrik's table filler, first with a 1:37, fifteen seconds faster, and then with a 1:35.
• And to give himself Total Ownage[tm] of the map he ripped into Hannu's Nightmare 100% and improved it by three seconds to 1:38. He says he's also done a 1:35, he even went so far as to dzip a completely different demo and try to pass it off as a civ_135 NH. Take a word of advice, Hansson, don't try fucking with the Ess Dee Ay or you'll find out what fucking is all about. You want to try it on with your false demos you just come right ahead, but we'll break you, muthafukka. Break you like a bitch.

Of course, it could also have been a genuine mistake, in which case please resend the demo. :-)

Daniel also did one non civil demo. He improved Justin's Nightmare Run of ikspq2 by nine fat seconds to get 1:32. Be sure to watch this one. This carnage is what Nightmare Runs are all about.

To finish things off we have a cool Nightmare 100% Marathon on the ridiculously long and complex zerstorrer levels. It seems that Nolan had a little spare time on his hands so he indulged his masochistic streak and recorded this 26:33.

If you go looking for me on ICQ or IRC today (for whatever sordid reason) you'll probably be out of luck. Today I'm spending a huge amount of money taking my wife up to London to see a bunch of adults dressed up as cats jump around a stage singing songs about other cats.

No, really, I am.

Sunday, May 5th by Morfans

It's The Silly Season Again!! - 11:15 AM

You want demos on the new maps? We've got demos on the new maps. You want Id records? We've got Id records. You want marathons? We've got marathons. You want coops? We've got Mad Coops[tm]. We've got all this and much more. SDA: It's like walking into a Quake shopping mall where everything's free and the chicks serving you are all topless.[1]

We'll start with the Id improvement. Jozsef Szalontai has improved his Nightmare Run of The Nameless City by not not using the two fiend boosts from his previous demo. Not quite sure how that saved a second, but the shambler appeared in record time so that probably helped. 0:43. Must Download.

As expected, there's been a flood of demos on the new maps. Well, on the shorter maps anyway. The hugely long fmb8 has only had one demo submitted, although I know that several people were trying for it. It is, of course, the Easy Run (using the "it could only be there for a speed run" 100h/teleport shortcut) by Hannu Kankaanpää in the faster-than-expected time of 1:04.

Plenty of action on spd.

• The Easy Run was soon optimised(??) to 0:09 using the og+gj up to the teleport by David Hocking. This was actually the second 0:09 we received but the first one, by Denn, was recorded using sonsQuake instead of the regular Id .exe. Let me just say once again, please don't use custom ports of Quake to record your SDA demos on as we cannot accept then, no matter how small or harmless the changes to the source.
• The Nightmare Run was a longer battle.
  • Fern got things started with this 0:13.
  • Which he soon improved to 0:12.
  • Then Joe stalked in with a 0:10.
  • Which he eventually managed to reduce to the optimum 0:09 using the same route as the Easy Run.
• Then filling the gap for the Easy 100% we have Arturo Garcia Lasca who did a very frantic looking 0:49

Many a spiked fist was thrown on my favourite (only because of the sheer audacity of making a very obvious cut, paste and stretch of several Id maps and then not even mentioning it in the .txt) new map, civil.

• Daniel Andersson was very quick to send in an Easy Run in the respectable time of 0:51.
• But Hannu is not in the mood to take prisoners at the moment and came screaming in first with this 0:45 (cheeky little grenade jump back up from the key), and then this 0:43.
• Amrik Kochhar returned from his missionary work spreading Satanism to the peaceful Indian tribes of the Amazon Basin in time to record this 1:52 Easy 100% table filler.
• But it looks a little poor next to Hannu's 1:41 Nightmare 100%. :-)

Still plenty of scope for improvement and loads of gaps to fill so keep 'em coming.

Both runs on empire have come under assault from "Da Runna from Down Unna", SnooP.

• First to fall was Arturo's Easy Run. This is a pretty straight run so some good bunnies were required to get this 0:20 one second improvement.
• The same is true of the Nightmare Run, except the shambler lightning boost at the end makes getting 0:20 slightly easier. One second faster than Martin.

Up and coming Chinese running sensation Weixing Ye managed to record three outstanding runs before going off on holiday.

• He owned Amrik's Nightmare 100% of zippie_sda by sixteen seconds with this all-new route and some slick play. 0:35.
• And he still hasn't finished with fc_coag.
  • He improved his Easy 100% by another two seconds to 0:56.
  • And his Nightmare Run by another three seconds to 0:44.

Time for a little bit more Jozsef action, this time in an awesome Easy Run Marathon of jzblue. The Blue Bunny Machine beat Sergi by two blue seconds to get this very blue 0:41.

To finish up we have the first in what look like a long line of Mad Coops[tm]. This started one night in #qdq when Stubbz and myself decided to have a coop and I very foolishly gave him my IP address on the channel. So just as we were nearing the end of a god-like run, who should decide to join the game (and thus ruin the demo) but Big Willy Marsh. The rest, as they say, is history.

• We did the Easy 100% (all kills) of The Tomb of Terror. Three people enabled us to do two double telefrags at the lava and so save eighty-nine seconds on the SP time to get 6:41.
• We then did the much more difficult Nightmare 100%, but only managed to get 8:05 before we ran out of time. It's still eighty-seven seconds faster than the SP time so it'll do for now.
• But MCing is all about laggy marathons, so we did the Easy 100% of The Realm of Black Magic in 8:40. A good start.

If you want to try and join in the insanity there seem to be quite a few people up for trying in #qdq. Anybody with a fast, fast, FAST net connection is especially welcome. ;-)

That's all the demos for this update. However, due to trauma, interuptions, work and, errr, MCing, this has taken nearly two days to finish so there are already a whole stack of demos waiting to be updated. Please be patient, they'll be posted later today or tomorrow. In the mean time there's enough demos here to keep even the most cynical of you amused for several hours.

Enjoy!

[1] Errr, maybe not that last one.

Thursday, May 2nd by lodis

Mappage - 12:42 PM

Boys and girls, it's my honour to announce three (that's 3 for you dyslexics out there) new maps. We've decided to add maps in three different categories: small, medium and large (which actually also applies to the penissizes of the sda crew, I'll let you figure out which size goes with which sda personality - Nolan isn't in this as we all know his penis is gargantuan in size) The maps have gone through thorough testing by the sda crew (Stubby even slept with the maps - don't ask me how he did that. Morfans and family, i.e. his wife and his donkey, went on a camping holiday on the maps and I have put the maps through every scientific test you can think of). Now let's cut the gibberish and let you at the maps.

• Small (read: optimizable): Symbiotic Pipe Dream. Shambler has done the easy run in 0:11. Will anyone beat Joe and Valeriy in the race to optimize this level?
• Medium (read: smallish): Secret Civilization. The map is clearly inspired by e1m1, e1m2 and e1m5 which is obvious but fun.
• Large (read: huge): For my babies 8. Don't be discouraged by the size of the map, it's definately runnable or we wouldn't add it. I expect to see Mr Marathon (Tim) step up and do the 100% runs, will anyone have the guts to give him a challenge?

Name your demos spd_xxx.dz, civ_xxx.dz and fmb8_xxx.dz respectively.

I expect to see some cool demos from you guys out there in the near future.

Tuesday, April 30th by Morfans

They Just Won't Stay Down. - 3:21 PM

The war for the Easy 100% (all zombies fisted into gibbage) of The Tomb of Terror is, I think, finally over. After heroically taking the record from Thomas last week, I went on to improve my time by another twelve seconds to 9:39.

Well pleased with myself, I sat back and waited for Thomas "Telefrag" Stubgaard to respond. I didn't have to wait long before he taught me a lesson in Quake playing with this 8:10, eighty-nine seconds faster than me and a staggering one thousand and seventeen seconds faster than Nolan's original demo. Frankly, though, it's still a little slow at the lift. :-)

Not content with just Easy skill, he went on use the same new tricks to improve his Nightmare 100% (total slaughter) record by two hundred and two seconds to 9:32.

Daniel Andersson has shown just how much better he has got over the last year by destroying two of his old records on czg01.

• The Nightmare Run didn't stand a chance, with a very nice seven second improvement to 1:46.
• And the Easy 100% fell by fourteen seconds to 2:55. Presumably he did this during one of his rare sober moments. ;-)

Only one demo this time on thecrypt, but it's a good one. Jozsef Szalontai has taken another second off his Easy 100% using the very dodgy "grenade boost off the ogre, twist round the corner and try not to fall in the lava" manoeuvre to get 0:48.

Weixing Ye has decided to go for total ownage of fc_coag. Already having both 100%s and the Nightmare Run, all that he had to do was take the Easy Run from Joe. A daunting task, you might think, but a new route, using the shaft instead of the nailgun, allowed him to do it in fine style by four seconds, getting 0:41.

And that's it!! No more demos have arrived in the last week! Although this time of year is always a bit quiet for SP demos this is just too quiet, so keep watching for some new maps and IRC running contests coming very soon.

Oh well, back to work...

Sunday, April 28th by Stubby

136 RESULTS ARE UP!!!!! - 12:51 AM

What's that you say?!?!? Well, my heart skipped a beat last night too, when Will brought me the pleasant news, that he had miraculously dug up the results for the old ROTW contest named 136. The results never got posted due to the assumption that the results had been lost! Apparently they had lain hidden on Will's university server for almost 2 years! (Well, I was too drunk last night to remember exactly what he said, but I think that's what he told me...). So without further hesitation I give you the results of 136.

Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 23rd by Morfans

Happy Birthday, Mutha Fuckah Truckah. - 3:06 PM

Yes indeed. Please all join me in wishing a very happy 26th birthday to that big Danish bastard Thomas Stubgaard. And as a special present for him I have totally owned his recent Easy 100% (all kills) of The Tomb of Terror by 46 seconds by using some new zombie tempting positions. This 9:51 is my first ever Id SP record. Which means I FUCKING RULE!!. Hey, Ken where's your Id record? Oh, you don't have one do you. How about you Pretty Balls, where's your Id record? You don't have one either! BUT I DO!!!

*ahem*

Sorry about that. I'm calm again now. It was the perfect record for me to go for while I'm unwell as there are short bursts of action followed by a nice rest. To be honest, it isn't a very good demo anyway. Using these new route tweaks Stubbz will probably improve it by a minute. :-)

Moving on to thecrypt...

• Jozsef Szalontai took a one second bite out of Timo's Easy run to get 0:41.
• Timo replied by taking one second off of Arturo's Nightmare Run. 0:43.
• And then Joe also took the Easy 100% from Stubbz by two seconds with this 0:49. An Easy 100% war between these two would be really interesting. :-)

SDA's newest rising star Weixing Ye still hasn't finished with the 100% demos on dilcoa, making a slight change to his kill order and getting a little lucky with monster grouping has allowed him to get...

• 0:56 for the Easy 100%, an eight second improvement.
• But even faster than that is this eleven second improvement to his Nightmare 100% to 0:54.

We'll finish off with a MUST DOWNLOAD from Mr Jozsef "MUST DOWNLOAD" Szalontai, who has taken the Easy Run of phallusy from Sergi by one second to 0:29, giving him total level ownage in the process. Can this guy spawn jump??

That's all for now. I'm going to have a rest. Enjoy the demos!

Sunday, April 21st by Stubby

ROTW C11 RESULTS ARE UP! - 2:50 PM

The results speak for themselves! And for all you choirfellas that didn't submit a demo... F%¤#K YOU! :-)

Thursday, April 18th by Morfans

Jeez, I've Missed You Guys... - 10:45 PM

Boy, am I glad to be back. Really, I mean it. Let me explain very briefly...

We set out for Scotland on Wednesday night. By Saturday I was almost dead. I have picked up a lung infection somehow and can hardly breathe. So the doctor has put me on a course of Amoxicillin and Prednisolone, basically antibiotics and steroids. All that is bad enough, but now that I've read the leaflet that comes with the drugs (that I have been taking for several days now) I'm absolutely terrified!! Here are the last two (out of seven!!) paragraphs under the heading "Side Effects" (all emphasis is mine)...

Other side effects include: hepititis, inflamation of the liver with jaundice, a serious skin condition (erythema multiforme). Poisoning of the skin leading to death of the skin, flaking of the skin, inflamation of blood vessels and convulsions.

It then goes on to say (seriously, I'm not making this up)...

Should these side effects prove troublesome consult your doctor.

Troublesome?? Death of the fucking skin!! If you can think of anything more "troublesome" than that I would love to hear it!

Anyway, the upshot is that I'm much better but confined to bed for a couple more days, so send in some demos! I'm going out of my mind with boredom and want to watch some Quake!

To show you all the way here's...

• Arturo Garcia Laska improving Timo's Nightmare Run of thecrypt first by two seconds to 0:45 and then by another second to 0:44.
• Da Mighty Stubbz further improving his Easy 100% of the same map by two more seconds to 0:51.
• And finally we have me tablefilling the Nightmare 100% of sgodrun2 in 5:39.

Still, the good news is that we put in an offer on a house while we were up there, so in a few months I might just be moving to the Highlands of Scotland. The only thing that could stop us is that if I can't get a broadband internet connection then I'm not going. And seeing as one of the people I spoke to up there hadn't even heard of electricity it doesn't look too promising. :-)

Before I go I haven't had a chance to say a personal "welcome to the team" to my main bitch Bergie. Damn good to have you here, you big Swedish hunk of love. :-)

Tuesday, April 16th by Stubby

Triggers! - 4:31 PM

Bergendorff's statement from the previous update, about not allowing demos recorded with visible triggers, started a heated discussion on the IRC channel. Everybody knows that we've allowed demos done with visible triggers from time to time in the past, but that's only because we're such nice people here at SDA (even though some people think the opposite). And to make things more complicated, it's not stated anywhere in the rules that you can't submit demos with visible triggers, and that's entirely our fault, either we've been too lazy, but the most likely reason is that we simply just forgot to do it (we will add it to the rules page as soon as possible). So from now on we won't accept demos done with visible triggers! Triggers are for sissies anyways, not to mention how fucking ugly they look... :-)

Three new demos on thecrypt:

• Timo Nieminen made up for the lost Easy Run from yesterday, and improved Jonny's demo by 1 second to get 0:42. NOTE: This will be the last demo we accept with visible triggers!
• I was a little unhappy about my Easy 100%, so I decided to shave off another second to get 0:53. Damn, those two Scrags in the beginning fucked everything up constantly!
• And Daniel Magnusson wasn't happy about his Nightmare 100% either, so he had another go at it. He improved his previous demo by 5 seconds to get 1:17.

Two demos on dilcoa from Weixing Ye:

• He improved his Easy 100% by 6 seconds to get 1:04.
• And he had a crack at the Nightmare 100% as well, almost equalling his Easy 100%. 1:05.

And as the final demo we have a coop from the Udders on zippie_sda:

• Jonny Andersson and Daniel Andersson did the Easy Run in 0:05. (0:09)

All demos are available here (Denmark)

And remember, NO DEMOS WITH VISIBLE TRIGGERS! Capiche!!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to inform you that you only have 4 more days left to submit your ROTW demos.

Monday, April 15th by lodis

And the winners are... - 10:51 PM

The irc speedrunning contest is over! The map was The UnderHalls (aka thecrypt.bsp). The competition was fierce but as the dust settled after one hour and 45 minutes (we extended the timelimit since it was so much fun) we had four winners, one for each category:

• Prettyballs did the easy run in 0:43.
• Timo Nieminen just lost out to PB on the easy run but got the nightmare run in 0:47 (Shambler had previously laid his fat sausagelike...finger...on the nightmare run, 0:58)
• Our own wankmaster Stubby finally understood the fun of running custom maps and got the easy 100% in 0:54, just 7 seconds slower than Timos nightmare run.
• Daniel "Ta kådden" Magnusson just had to join the fun and got stuck a lot in his nightmare 100%: 1:22.

The map will be added to sda (as of this update) and you can start improving the times (I know for a fact that a few of these times have already been improved by contestants), they are definitely improvable. I hope everyone who participated had a good time, I know I certainly had fun watching peoples reactions when some runner came with a better time. We will definitely do this type of contest in the future. The next time I hope more runners will participate (apparently Morfys PR tour to Rumania didn't work out as we had hoped, but he's bought himself a pricewinning donkey! Good on ya Morfy, I just hope your wife won't be pissed off at your late evening visits to the donkey shack of love)

Oh yeah, one final point: as I think everyone knows you can't submit demos with visible triggers. Timo apparently didn't know that which makes him the jackass of the week :)
His 0:47 nightmare run has visible triggers..and timo, if you're reading this...you better redo that improvement of yours if you want us do add it to sda:)

All demos are available in a small .dz (including an egg demo by Will) here (Vikingland).

Sunday, April 14th by lodis

IRC info - 12:18 AM

Since SDA is the site of the day (an award that funnily enough lasts for a few days) I thought we'd reiterate the IRC info just to make sure everyone can connect for the competition that starts in a few hours. The name of the SDA channel is #qdq and we're using the Quakenet IRC network. Here is a list of servers. See ya in a few hours.

Saturday, April 13th by Stubby

Blah... - 8:16 PM

Well, there's not a whole lot to update about, except for a few demos and a reminder....

• Weixing Ye did the Nightmare 100% of dazsp2, 1 second faster than himself to get 0:49.
• He improved the Nightmare 100% of dazsp2b as well by 3 seconds to get 2:35.
• And finally he did the Nightmare 100% of terror, improving Richard's time by 4 seconds to get 2:31.

• I improved my Easy 100% (all kills) of The Tomb of Terror, by 7 lousy seconds to get 10:37.

Remember that the deadline for the ROTW is Saturday, April 20th. That means you still have 7 days left to play.

Once again SDA has been voted site of the day at PlanetQuake. Sweet!

Thursday, April 11th by lodis

IRC speedrunning! - 1:15 AM

I suppose I should start with introducing myself. I'm Thomas Bergendorff and [insert two lines of boring information here]. As I'm sure you've noticed (if you haven't, well shame on you) sda has an IRC channel on Quakenet, and I'm the admin (you know, they guy who sooner or later will abuse his power and start kicking people, so be nice).

Let's leave all that and get down to business. Since the IRC channel seems to be very successful we thought it'd be a great idea to use that forum to have a contest. On Sunday the 14th we will have a speedrunning contest on irc. Now you're probably wondering what that means? (Will, don't get too confused now, just read the rest, mmkay?). 5:00 PM (CET, which would be 11:00 AM EST, 4:00 PM GMT) on Sunday we will announce a map and you'll all have until 6:15 PM to run it. The fastest time for each type of run will be posted in the next update. No, you won't be getting any championship points for this, but we're hoping that the excitement of a new map and the company of your fellow speedrunners will be enough to compel you to join us on Sunday. We're hoping for a crowd as big as 200 (seriously! Morfy has spent a few days in Romania doing a hardcore PR tour. Either that or he just went there to buy a donkey). On a more serious note we're hoping that you guys will use IRC to talk about routes and tricks in the chase for the fastest run.

Creds for the idea goes to Fern and Will who were the true pioneers late one night and gave us the idea. You're lucky it wasn't Amrik and Ken cause then the title of this update would have been "IRC Catfight!" (it's a joke so don't get all spastic on me). Many thanks to Stubby, Morfans and Nolan who asked me to be on the team. Extra thanks go out to Stubby who promised to not shaft me with his mighty viking weapon for the first few weeks.

Monday, April 8th by Morfans

Who's The Daddy? - 9:22 PM

Bastard Windows, bastard Word and bastard Outlook. You'd think that three M$ products could manage to run together happily, wouldn't you? Well, I tried to open a Word document from Outlook and Windows hung like a fucking donkey. Bye bye two hours of update.

Oh well, I think I can remember most of it...

Timo Nieminen continues to produce the goods. This time he has taken back the Easy 100% of The Tower of Despair from Martin by one second. Slick, syrupy and slightly crunchy in the middle. 1:04. MUST DOWNLOAD.

After all the various crowing on the Message Board and on #qdq Martin Selinus decided to further ruin his damaged hands by taking the only Id Easy Run Marathon that he doesn't already own. So he improved Sergi's Dimension of the Doomed Easy Run by three seconds to get the phenomenal time of 2:28. Quite simply this is a MUST DOWNLOAD.

As if those two demos weren't cause enough, we have a third reason to celebrate here at SDA. More than a year after it was added to the tables, someone has finally filled the czg02 Nightmare Run gap. I know that many people have tried to complete this run, to a greater or lesser extent, but the honour goes to the man we all know as Pflug Daddy (as he liked to be called while he was sticking da bone to that Lopez chick. Now of course he likes to be known as N-Diddy. Or am I thinking of someone else?). This 5:35 is a MUST DOWNLOAD simply for the novelty value of a Run that's longer than 95% of the Nightmare 100% demos on the archive and longer than seven out of the eight Id episode Run Marathons.

Plenty of demos still coming in on the DaZ maps, starting with dazsp2.

• Weixing Ye has stolen the Easy 100% from Kimmo by one second to 0:47.
• Amrik Kochhar decided to join in with the Kimmo bashing by improving the Nightmare Run by one second to equal the Easy Run time of 0:27.
• Which only left Weixing to improve his own Nightmare 100% time by two more seconds to 0:50.

There's been some fast zombie killing and table filling on dazsp2b.

• Amrik tackled the shambler intensive Nightmare Run and reached the exit in 1:15 with two health left. Although if he had managed to open the gold key door the first time he tried he would have had plenty of health. :-)
• OpenGL cleared both 100%s, first the Easy in 2:14 and then did a slightly confused (how many times do you need to get the gold key?) Nightmare 100% in 2:38.

What's got a shambler, two fiends, two deathknights, three vores, a bunch of scrags, no armour, no weapons and no shells? It can only be dazsp2c. Sounds to me like a perfect map for Nolan.

• Running around swinging his axe and trying not to get hit too often seemed to work quite well for the Nightmare 100%. Well enough to get a 2:12, anyway.
• Then he taught me a lesson in monster in-fighting by beating my Easy 100% by fourteen seconds to 1:25.

It has been said that playing on your own map is only slightly different to wanking out of an open window into a busy street, but since David Hocking is Australian this is normal behaviour. He beat Basil's Easy 100% of spring2 by three seconds to get 0:30. Very nice.

Dan Stukanev continues to improve the Nightmare Run on the map that sounds like it should be an evil Welshman's fortress, ih1m4. Smooth moves and plenty-o-nails gave him 0:34, two seconds faster.

Here's a demo I should have mentioned some weeks ago but forgot about. Jozsef Szalontai improved Martin's Easy Run of guard by one second to get 0:22. Sorry, Joe. :-)

To finish we have a little coop action from Daniel Hansson and Daniel Andersson. Both demos follow a similar theme: Daniel gives Daniel a big boost and then Daniel charges to the exit as fast as he can.

• First they destroyed Evan and Nolan's Easy Run of czg07b by four seconds to 0:32.
• Then a huge rocket boost gave them a 0:24 on czg07c, two seconds faster than fellow Udders Carl and Johan. This demo nearly didn't happen as DH's hard disk was full so their first demo didn't record, or at least I think that's what that heathen foreign lingo in their .txt says. :-)

That's all from me for now, stay tuned to SDA as we may have a little suprise for you all very soon...

Saturday, April 6th by Stubby

Super Mario Bros versus Q1! - 1:00 AM

It's time again for the monthly speedrunning contest, and this contest is very different from the previous ones. You see, this map is a remake of World 1-1 for Super Mario Bros! A big thank you goes out to Mattias Berggren (retired speedrunner) for this cool, and odd looking map :)

Will has uploaded a new handful of SpeedCon2001 pictures. You can check them out here.

Friday, April 5th by Morfans

What's That You Say? - 10:54 AM

We'll start off with today's quick update with Timo Nieminen. For those of you that were impressed with his recent Easy 100% Marathon of The Elder World, prepare to be amazed. He his already trimmed another forty-one seconds off of his previous time to give him 14:00. Staggeringly consistent play from the master of, well, staggeringly consistent play. MUST DOWNLOAD.

Just the one demo on sgodrun2 this time. Arturo Garcia Lasca improved Brent's Long Way Easy Run by eight seconds to 1:36 using the same route but running it a little faster.

Prepare to be DaZzled by some damned daring demos on der demonically difficult[1] dazsp2.

• Weixing Ye opened the batting for the Nightmarre Run with this 0:29.
• But Kimmo Polvivaara soon improved that to 0:28.
• Kimmo also improved Brent's Easy 100% by five seconds to 0:48. Looks to me like someone is going for total map ownage. :-)
• But to get it he will have to deal with Weixing, who currently has 0:52 for the Nightmare 100%.

dazsp2b has had it's first demo's sent in.

• The IRC schizophrenic, Amrik Kochhar, has led the way with a scrappy Easy Run in 1:13. He then fell in to the normal Amrik "improve it by five seconds" cycle and did a 1:08, soon followed my a much better and cleaner looking 1:03.
• But Kimmo found a killer looooong bunny which gave him 1:00.

Finally, Amrik has made a start on the daz marathons, tackling the Easy Run in 1:56, then quickly improving that to 1:46.

Thank you to everyone that tried to guess the runners in the title of the last update. Some people had trouble spotting the first name in the list, Nolan I had to disqualify for sending over ICQ and not e-mail, Tim's entry was just bizarre (...and stubby refers to *name deleted* because he's such a short bastard...) but the first mail to correctly state "This just in (Justin Fleck) : Fern (Fern) will (Will Marsh) morph (Richard Skidmore) Timo (Timo Nieminen) into Tim's (Tim Doherty) stubby (Thomas Stubgaard)" was from Mathhias Belz, who has now earned himself two pints when I next see him. :-)

And to finish with I'd like to draw your attention to the links page where we have just added Tim's Marathons For Regular Joes, or M4RJ, site. I'm sure everyone in the world already knows about tis site because he's been pimping it pretty hard recently, but if you're one of those people that say "I'd love to submit some demos but I'm not good enough to beat the times" then this could be the site for you.

[1] I know, they aren't particularly difficult, but "easy" doesn't start with a "D". :-)

Tuesday, April 2nd by Morfans

This just in : Fern will morph Timo into Tim's stubby! - 8:32 PM

We hope you all enjoyed the little bit of humour with the e1m6 Nightmare 100% yesterday. For those of you who haven't watched it yet it's still worth seeing just to revel in the misery of those who suddenly realised "We've been had!"

But we are not malicious people here as SDA, and so to make up for it a veritable cavalcade of new map merriment is yours for the watching. A feast of demos like we haven't seen since, errr, last time.

First, the demos on sgodrun2.

• The first person to send in improvements to my heroic Cheap Way Run was Arturo Garcia Lasca who sent in Easy and Nightmare runs in 0:34 within an hour of the maps being posted.
• Brent Wise has sent in the first of the long way demos, doing the Easy Run in the respectable time of 1:44. Five normal and one quadded grenade boosts and there's still a couple of tricks he didn't do to make this run faster...
• And finally, Big Joey Sazzle has done the Easy 100% of the sgodrune start map. No one is quite sure why, though, as it quite clearly says that we're not taking demos on the other sgodrune maps!! :-P

Now for some action on dazsp2.

• Kimmo Polvivaara did the first Easy Run in 0:27. I love curly jumps down spiral stairs, especially when they have a beautiful breaking bone sound when he hits the ground.
• Brent decided to go for the slaughter everything approach and did the Easy 100% first in 0:54 and then in 0:53.

Which leaves the short but very sweet dazsp2c.

• Making me look foolish we have Kimmo who improved both my table filling runs within minutes of them being posted, both by two seconds, both to 0:10. Easy. Nightmare.
• A lack of ammo was not going to stop me doing the Easy 100% in 1:39. As a certain Dane said, l337 monster control but terrible axe work.

Posting the current records in #qdq seems to be working, with several people asking before doing/sending the quicker demos. However, a very honourable mention to Weixing Ye who sent in both sgodrun2 cheap way runs in 0:34, both dazsp2c runs in 0:10, and the Easy 100% of the same map in 2:00. Unlucky, my friend. Race you for the NH. :-)

Still plenty of scope for improvement and loads of gaps in the tables to fill, so keep 'em coming as we have a whole stack of other maps just around the corner...

And if cheated marathons are your thing then head on over to the Cheated Page where Stubby has done a massive update featuring demos from Himself, Tim (who has gone mad), Joe and P-B. Literally hours of viewing for fanatics, lunatics and insomniacs.

Before I go, it's "Win yourself a pint the next time you bump into Morfy" time again. The title of this update came about during a bizzare IRC conversation earlier today. All you have to do to win this fabulous prize is be the first person to tell me the names of all the runners involved. (The clues are, obviously, in the sentence.) Note: This prize is not open to anyone logged on to #qdq at the time, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! In the event of two correct entries arriving in the same minute, as a tie-breaker you also have to tell me what colour underpants/ briefs/ thong I'm wearing at the moment. :-)

Monday, April 1st by Morfans

It's Easter, time for bunnies... - 8:42 PM

...would have been an excellent title for this update if I'd completed it yesterday. Will Marsh has spent most of the last four months working on that title and I've gone and blown it all by being too lazy to do the update on the right day. Sorry Will.

So as it is, I guess I'll have to use...

Monday, April 1st by Morfans

You're All Fools! - 8:42 PM

Another big update for you, folks. A big stack of demos, including our first "arranged in #qdq" coop, and four new maps! You just don't deserve me. You really don't.

Two Id records to start with.

• Thomas "Worship Me" Stubgaard has beaten Peter's seemingly perfect Nightmare 100% of The Door to Chthon by one second. 0:52. DOWNLOAD AND WATCH NOW!
• Next is a mad marathon from Timo Nieminen. He improved Marlo's Easy 100% of The Elder World by thirty seven seconds to get this 14:41. There are so many good things in here that I couldn't list them all, but you simply must watch out for the grenade jump across the water to the silver key/pentagram in e4m4. A classic. :-)

The man who may well one day make a mistake at work and destroy half of Northern Europe, Dan Stukanev, has been looking with ruinous revulsion at DanielL's Nightmare Run of trr. This impressive 0:20 is one second faster and, if you'll pardon my language, will be a complete bitch to improve.

Before we get to the new maps we'll check out the action on the last new map. zippie_sda is still proving popular, but records are getting much harder to break.

• Arturo Garcia Lasca has taken the Nightmare Run from Thomas by one second to get 0:16. Perhaps if Amrik hadn't spent so long crowing about how he'd done a 0:16 NR in #qdq and actually sent his demo in sooner he might have taken the record himself. :-P
• Jozsef Szalontai has given Jamie Lee Kwen his first SDA record, a 3000 ping Nightmare Run in 0:14.

fc_coag still isn't safe from the shaft of Weixing Ye.

• Not content with owning the Easy 100% last time he has further improved it by two more seconds to 0:58.
• But that's nothing compared to fourteen more seconds off of his Nightmare 100%. Who needs a SSG anyway? 1:04.

Getting back to Ken, it appears that he's not been slacking.

• He has continued to work on the dilcoa runs, reducing his the Easy Run by one second to 0:24 and Weixing's Nightmare Run by two seconds also to 0:24.
• He also his ever improving skills to reduce his Nightmare Run of church by two seconds 1:06. Maybe when he gets his new keyboard he'll be able to do a 1:05...

Joe gone 100% crazy on doom2_01.

• Peter's 0:42 Nightmare 100% was his first target which he improved to 0:40, then to 0:39 and finally to 0:38. He says that he thinks that 0:37 is possible but it would need a route change, I think...
• Then came Valeriy's Easy 100% which he smoothed another second off of to get this 0:24. What's that I smell? Is it the scent of a 0:23 in the air? :-)

And finally, demowise at least, Kimmo Polvivaara has been the first person to successfully do the Easy Run route (the big corner bunny) on Nightmare skill on terror. Much to Fern's annoyance, as he'd also been working on this demo, he improved his time by nine seconds to 0:29. As Kimmo said, the bitch deserved it. :-)

Since you've all been so fragrant recently, here are some new maps.

The first one is sgodrun2 : Tale of Abbot's Rune by Rain "Spacegod" Rannu. It is part of a three map mini episode that you can get here, but frankly the other two maps are not running friendly so don't send in any demos for them. Having said that, this map has it all: cheap way runs (here is a 0:35 Easy Run by me); long way runs (where you must teleport back to the hall you start in) that have the potential to have about ten cool boosts in; and wicked 100% play (if you can find the last kill...). Please call your demos sgr2_xxx.dz.

The other three are Arabian Nights, one map cut into three pieces by DaZ of The DaZ Dranz Level Cave. Because of the way the map's been sliced up it makes for some nice quick running and also some fast marathons. You can get the map here, read a review by Fern here. To get things started I've done both runs on dazsp2c in 0:12 (Easy) and 0:12 (Nightmare). Please call your demos dz2_xxx.dz, dz2b_xxx.dz, dz2c_xxx.dz and your marathons daz_xxx.

Now get running. Any new times that come in tonight I'll announce them on #qdq so you don't all send in the same demo...

Wednesday, March 27th by Morfans

Eye-Arse-Ee. - 6:55 PM

For those of you that haven't found it yet, don't forget to check out the cool new IRC channel (see below for details). So if you want to chill with the speed running posse, or just chuck a few insults about (I suggest calling Alex a big puff, questioning the size of Stubby's love-truncheon, or telling Amrik to go and suck his face) come on over and join us. You'll never leave.

The madness continues on zippie_sda.

• Jozsef Szalontai is coming close to making me have a rectal prolapse in sheer amazement by further improving his Easy 100% to 0:14. One second faster. Surely 0:13 must be optimum...
• Amrik Kochhar has filled the empty Nightmare 100% slot with this should-be-faster 0:51. Half a dozen SSG blasts into the shambler before GJing off him would maybe save some time...

Weixing Ye just keeps on getting more impressive. This time sweeping through fc_coag like a Chinese enema.

• He began by filling the outstanding Nightmare Run hole with this lovely twisty 0:47.
• Then he improved DanielA's Easy 100% by seventeen seconds to 1:00.
• And to finish off he totally owned my Nightmare 100% table filler by twenty two seconds by making much better use of the quad (amongst other things). 1:18.

It appears that Joe has now got his teeth firmly dug in to the Hipnotic Mission Pack.

• First came a four second slaying of Ilkka's hip2m2 Easy Run, using the slopey-bunny-shambles-crackle boost to get 0:28. I've always loved runs on this map, mostly (for some bizarre reason) because of the little curly jump over the trigger at the top of the stairs. I don't know why but it's the subtle, unspectacular tricks that always impress me the most.
• He then improved Evan's coffin-popping Easy Run of hip2m4 by two seconds. Low health and a room full of prox-mines. Yummy! 0:37.

All the above demos were okay, I suppose, if you like that sort of thing. But I think you'll all agree that nothing beats a bit of r1m3 coop 100% action. Brought to you today by myself and Nolan Pflug.

• We finally got around to filling the final hole in the Rogue EH2 tables. Luckily Nolan's DSL connection kept working for a couple of days after he cancelled it as this demo turned out to be a complete bitch to do. But despite being hampered by Nolan being rusty and 3000 miles away and me sucking like *insert runner of your choice's name here*'s mother we managed this 1:28(2:09).
• We had a few minutes left before I had to leave for work so Nolan suggested we try the Nightmare 100% using the same routes. We got to the end once, in 2:18(2:47). Appalling.

Catch you all later!

Tuesday, March 26th by Stubby

IRC Channel - 11:46 PM

Good news for all you choirfellas out there! We've finally been able to set up an IRC channel for SDA, thanks to the ever wonderful Thomas Bergendorff. Thanks dude, we owe you one!

It's available to you through the quakenet irc network, the channel is #qdq. The name #sda was already taken. Some Unreal Tournament clan had already picked that name. You can find a list of available servers at this address, and general info about the network at this address.

As a token gratitude of our debt to Bergie, I'll post a little something he wanted me to say on SDA, so here goes: If anyone with a cute sister/female friend has any nude photos (or worse!) of them, he'd be dying to see them....

Monday, March 25th by Morfans

Zippie-Di-Doo-Da... - 4:07 PM

...Zippie-dee-day, My-oh-my what a wonderful set of demos.

Yes, folks, I'm sure these are the words James Baskett would have sung in "Song of the South" if he'd seen these zippie_sda demos. (And hopefully he'd have gibbed that f^%king bluebird, too).

• Jozsef Szalontai has done a trouser-tearingly good Easy Run, ending the debate about whether or not the 0:09 was possible. An excellent demo with wonderful use of grenades but rather overshadowed by his final...
• ...Easy 100% demo.
  • Arturo Garcia Lasca was the first to send in an 0:18, two seconds faster than Brent. Honourable mentions to Brent Wise and Thomas Bergendorff who both sent in 0:18s just too damned late.
  • Ken then couldn't resist further improving it to 0:17, several hours before Amrik Kochhar sent in his 0:17. (BTW. Ken has been once again making friends and spreading goodwill amongst his fellow runners in this thread.) :-)
  • But Jozsef Szalontai has once again shown that he deserved his "Runner of the Year" accolade first with this 0:16.
  • And then a few more route tweaks gave him this 0:15. MUST DOWNLOAD.
• Back to Thomas now for the Nightmare Run. Any man who dedicates their demo as he has done in his .txt is always going to get the record. If other people send an equal time before him we'd just pretend that the PlanetQuake spam filter ate it. You might think that's corrupt, but then we're a corrupt couple of guys. 0:17. One second faster than Arturo.

It seems that we (i.e. Stubby :-P) were a little slack in our research when adding csa to the tables. Attila Csernyik, as everyone except us remembered, did a couple of egg demos that were faster than the winning entries. He did the Nightmare 100% one second faster than Alex using a different route and maybe a little local knowledge. 1:48. He also did the Easy Run faster than Peter, but not a whole second quicker so his 0:10 doesn't make it on to the tables. It contains a nice recam, though, so it's been added to the big download at the end as it's well worth watching.

The man who was personally responsible for the breaking down of the Berlin Wall, Amrik Kochhar, has improved his Easy Run Marathon through The Black Episode by 17 seconds to 4:27.

And to finish with it's that man again. Joe has improved Ilkka's Easy Run of hip2m5 by three seconds to 0:33. I'm still not sure where all three seconds came from, especially as Joe couldn't do Ilkka's fast-water-exit-RJ, which saves nearly a second. Imagine that! There are some tricks out there that even Joe can't do!

There's now a profile up from our friend in China Weixing Ye which you can see here. Scaaaaary photo. :-)

A serious note to finish. We are still having problems receiving some people's demos. Recently we have failed to receive mail from Peter, DanielH, DanielA, Weixing, David and Denn. There may be others, too, so if you've sent us a mail or a demo and have not had a reply or seen it posted a week later then drop us another mail asking if we've received it. If you still get no reply then post something on the Message Board and we'll try to look in to it.

The worst thing about these problems is that we've had people send in records that have not arrived and then someone else sends in the same time later. In this case the rule is simple: the demo that arrives in the SDA mailbox first is the one that stands. It sucks that some people have lost out due to technical hitches but there's nothing we can do about it. If you're on ICQ you can always ask Stubby or myself if it's arrived.

Saturday, March 23rd by Morfans

Many a demo. - 1:18 PM

Hey there, Sweeties. This week has been a bit of a demofest with no fewer than, errr, twenty-something demos hitting the SDA mailbox. For all you trivia hounds, that's enough demos (if you unravelled them and lay them end to end) to stretch from Trinidad to Pittsburgh THREE TIMES. (Probably).

To begin with, we have three Id improvements.

• Thomas "The Slut Fisting Face Ripper" Stubgaard (is that okay?) has gone shotgun crazy in the Chambers of Torment and improved his Nightmare 100% by three seconds to get this 4:09. Oh, and if Stubby ever offers to lend you his baseball bat, don't take it. Just don't. Trust me. Okay?
• The other two are the first of many in this update from Daniel Hansson.
  • First he improved his Easy 100% of the Wind Tunnels by one more second to 1:30
  • Then he took the war to Stubby and replaced his rather scrappy Easy 100% of The Elder God Shrine with this much better 1:28, two seconds faster. Still room for improvement though...

We'll be staying with Daniel for the next swathe of demos. But before we get to the action I just have to ask: I've only seen a few pictures of the boy Hansson, mostly with some of The Udders, but am I the only one out there that thinks he looks like a blonde Dolph from The Simpsons?

• First he went czg07 crazy, doing a whole shitload of improvements.
  • His Easy 100% marathon was never going to last long now that he has had a new wave of enthusiasm. He scythed of a whole twenty five seconds off his previous record to get this 17:18.
  • czg07a was his next victim where he improved his Easy 100% by five seconds to get 4:25.
  • Then, in a startling parallel with his penis, he just couldn't resist repeatedly playing with the Easy 100% of czg07b.
    • He managed a slight improvement to his previous record with this 4:09.
    • Then a huge jump of thirty one seconds to this 3:38. Wow.

• Is that enough CZG action for one man? It appears not...
  • He had a bit of a run around czg01, giving us more HTML indented lists than I think we've ever had before.
    • First the Easy Run...
      • He improved his own time first by six seconds to 1:38.
      • And then because P-B threatened to improve it some more he took another two seconds off to get 1:36.
    • Then, despite what his .txt says, he improved his Nightmare 100% by ten seconds to 3:16.

  • He seemed to think that Basil had way too many czg02 records so he decided to redress the balance by...
    • ...improving his Easy Run by eight seconds to 1:59...
    • ...improving his Easy 100% by forty three(!) seconds to 3:45...
    • ...teaming up with Jonny Andersson to improve the Daniel/Basil Easy 100% coop by thirty six seconds to 2:44.

• And just to show he isn't exclusively a CZG-ophile he also attacked the 100% records on badland2
  • He improved his own Easy 100% by a lousy one second to 2:53.
  • And his Nightmare 100% by a much more respectable sixteen seconds to 3:14.

• I expect he'll have done some more by the time I finish this update, but they'll have to wait. :-)

Next we have two demos from Jozsef Szalontai

• Here is an old, old demo that he did on csa way back. It's the Nightmare Run in 0:12. I can think of a few people that should be beating this one...
• He also improved, maybe optimised, his Easy Run of rwa1 by taking another second off of his previous. 0:24.

Weixing Ye has further improved his Nightmare 100% of scream down to 1:18. A five second gain and two seconds faster than he thought was possible. :-)

The battle for dilcoa still rages on.

• Arturo Garcia Lasca has taken the Easy Run from Weixing by skipping the GL and avoiding the Ogres at the quad to bring in this 0:25. Nice.
• I spent a couple of hours improving both of the 100% records to 1:45, but before I even had a chance to send them in Weixing destroyed them both.
  • Simply by using the Run route (mostly) and then raining quad rockets down from the top level he shaved 85 seconds off my Nightmare 100% to get 1:15.
  • Then by doing the same, but even more so, he managed to sneak in an eighty four second gain over Tim's Easy 100% to get 1:10. Tim, we were owned.

Amrik Kochhar has taken (again, despite what his .txt says) the Easy Run of black1 below one minute by using the tricky gren-off-the-ogre rather than the straight gren jump up to the silver key. The trick saves two seconds and this is a four second improvement over Justin so it's quite a bitchin' run anyway. 0:59.

For our final demo of the update we have Pretty Balls sticking it to Hansson by beating Joe's Easy run of cult before Daniel did. 0:21. One second faster.

That's it for now. Sorry it's been 8 days since the last demo update but I just haven't been home much this week. :-( So a big thanks to Stubby for doing most of the behind the scenes work for this update otherwise it still wouldn't be done. Enjoy the demos. ALL OF THEM!

Saturday, March 23rd by Stubby

The ROTW results are up! - 2:05 AM

Nothing much to say except that another edition of ROTW has ended. Check out the results here, and see who advanced in the championship ladder.

And I thought it would be very appropiate to post the demos we've recieved on zippie_sda so far, just to prevent any more duplicates from arriving in our inbox :)

• Daniel Andersson was the first to destroy Morfy's Easy Run with a 1 second improvement to get 0:11. Too bad for Brent, Arturo and Fern who submitted their demos too late.
• But it didn't take long before Thomas Bergendorff submitted a 0:10. He says that a 0:09 is possible using a double-grenade jump...
• Arturo couldn't keep his greasy hands away from this map though, and submitted a demo for the Nightmare Run in 0:18. NOTE: You have to rename the map in order to view this demo! (NOTE from Nolan: ignore stubby's note, I fixed the demo now)
• The open slot (read: slut) for the Easy 100% got filled (read: drilled) out nicely by Brent Wise in the blistering time of 0:20 :)

You'll have to wait with the rest of the demos, sorry. I'm off to get some sleep now, adios!

Friday, March 22nd by Stubby

Achtung! - 1:21 AM

We have two new maps for all ya choirfellas, and more to come soon(ish)!

The first map is actually an old map which was part of a speedrunning contest Ilkka posted some 3 years ago :)

• csa - CSA Corp Buildings by Attila Csernyik. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map csa_xxx.
• Peter Horvath won the Easy Run with a time of 0:10, and Aleksander Osipov won the Nightmare 100% with a time of 1:49.

The second map is a fun little map, with a quite unique theme. Some of you may have downloaded this when it was released some time back, but the map has been changed to fit speedrunning, and that means you'll have to download this version in order to submit a valid demo for SDA.

• zippie_sda - Stamppot by Zippie. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map zip_xxx.
• Mr. Comedy Gold himself did the Easy Run to kick things off. He did it in the outrageous time of 0:12. Is this beatable? I think not... :)

Other news:

Ingmar has updated Ill Mind Moves with a nice new color scheme that fits the colors of Spring time :)

Opulent sent word that he has a new speedrunning/demo site up at this address.

If you're unsure as to whether or not I've received your ROTW demos, please send it to stubgaard. If that doesn't work (hopefully it will), you could also contact me on ICQ. My number is 74600272. Remember that deadline for the ROTW is tonight (at least for us Scandinavians) at 23:00 CET.

A demo update should be due tomorrow...

Sunday, March 17th (2nd update) by Stubby

Cheated Marathons - 4:12 PM

Just letting you guys know that there's a cheated update up, and that I've added marathons to the tables.

That's it and that's that....

Sunday, March 17th by Stubby

Danish lager seriously fucks you up! - 1:30 AM

Just a few more links and other shit....

• Serious Sam speedrunning is to be found here.
• Daikatana, Quake2 and Unreal runs for in-game, mission pack and custom maps can be found here.
• Unreal Done Quick by Grob can be found here.

Does the name Quake 3 Arena done Quick sound intriguing? If it does, go take a look here. Thanks to Anthony Bailey for the scoop.

I need sleep, the 2nd Formula 1 race of the season begins in less than 5 hours....

Saturday, March 16th by Morfans

Filling The Dil Holes. - 10:42 AM

Hey there, folks. Here's a lightning fast round up of the last couple of days worth of demos.

All the records on dilcoa have been improved or the outstanding holes filled.

• Weixing Ye has improved his Easy Run by two seconds to 0:26. Ken also sent in a 0:26 using some slightly different route modifications so I think a 0:25 can't be too far away...
• Weixing also improved his Nightmare run to the same time. 0:26. Three seconds faster.
• Making his first demo for some time we have Tim Doherty who has filled the Easy 100% gap with this 2:34.
• Which inspired me to fill the Nightmare 100% gap with this 2:40. A pretty bad demo but okay for twenty minutes work. :-)

OpenGL also improved his Easy 100% of scream by five seconds to 1:06. He was fairly lucky with the scrags this time but they still act like biatches. :-)

Well, that's most of the gaps in the tables filled. I think you all know what that means...

I'm away working now (should have left five minutes ago to be honest :-)) until Monday or Tuesday. Until then just remember, if it starts to stink, wash it.

Wednesday, March 13th by Stubby

Pictures and links... - 2:04 AM

Ahh, finally my brother moved his lazy ass and got the pictures from our trip to Norway scanned. You can check them out here.

Also, I was bored the other night and therefore I searched the internet for everything I could find on Quake speedrunning. Here's what I found:

• An old and amusing interview with some of the original QdQ guys. Definitely worth a read.
• Jesse's original custom Quake1+2 speedrunning site. It's quite entertaining to read some of the old news.
• The biggest legend in speedrunning, Yonatan Donner's old but still useful homepage. I think his last update is from 1998.
• Shambler's booth at QuakeExpo. This is rather new, but still worth a read in case any of you missed it.

All the urls has been added to the links page.

If any of you have any knowledge of old speedrunning articles/interviews/websites/etc, please email us with the information you may have, thanks.

Tuesday, March 12th (2nd update) by Stubby

ROTW Contest #10 is up! - 3:53 PM

The next installment in the ROTW series is a slick little fast paced map courtesy of Daniel Hansson. This map will most likely test your skills, AND your patience! If you think you hated Spawns and Grenade-jumps off of barrels prior to this contest, then you're in for a real treat :) This map will make you bitch and cuss, and will most likely make you bash your monitor in pure rage! At least I feel this way when I constantly drop into the lava.... But, who said speedrunning had to be easy, I didn't! You could, of course just pick the easy route and bunny all the way through the map, but there's not much challenge in that! So, go give this map a damn good trashing yourself instead of being a choirfella like me :)

I promise that the pictures from my trip to Norway will be posted soon, I just need to bitchslap my brother a bit! He's the one with the scanner...

Tuesday, March 12th by Morfans

Jonny Gets His (Pretty) Balls Kicked... - 9:42 AM

... by his arch rival Carl Tholin. Yes, the war of the Udders continues with Carl taking both of Jonny's eyesock runs with two fine displays of boosting and dodging.

• First the Easy Run one second quicker for 0:45. His .txt is worth a read as it appears that Carl is capable of rational thought. You will have to forgive him for getting the name of "Murphy's Law" slightly wrong. ;-)
• The Nightmare Run he improved by a big three seconds to 0:46. This is one second slower than the Easy Run because he doesn't have enough health to do the GJ off the ogre to the gold key which saves about two seconds. Two second slower route, one second slower demo. Hmmmm.

Öh man, Jonny. Are you gonna stand for this?

Carl's other arch rival, for the Easy 100% of elektra at least, Ilkka Kurkela has taken the record from Carl for the third time with this one second improvement. The cool thing is that the route on this 0:53 is completely different to Carl's 0:54. Which route will ultimately prove to be the fastest?

Carl has also done a quick improvement to the Nightmare 100% of the same map. He beat Curre's time by fourteen seconds to get 1:42.

My statement a week ago that "Due to the huge number of monsters and incidental damage the double gren jump is not really an option" for the scream Nightmare Run has provoked several runners to prove that I don't have a clue what I am talking about. The second demo to arrive was from Arturo Garcia Laska who improved Weixing's route by five seconds to 0:40; thirdly, Fern did the double gren jump to get 0:28; fourthly, Thomas Bergendorff did the double grenner to get 0:23; but first to send a demo and the fastest of the lot was Basil de Vries who achieved 0:21. This is also a new record low for Basil as he has managed to get the date, the map name, the skill, the kills, the time and the comments wrong in his .txt. The only thing that was correct was his name.

Oh yeah, he got the name of the demo wrong as well.

Jozsef Szalontai has produced two demos that are... well, they're Joszef demos. You can guess what they're like.

• First, he has proved that the Runs on critters can be done even faster than before by doing this Nightmare 0:15, one second faster than Simon.
• The he did a demo that's about as MUST DOWNLOAD as anything we've had here recently. Remeber Peter's old Easy Run of hip2m1 from SdSlite? It looked pretty unbeatable but that's not the kind of thing to discourage Joe. Watch the four egg demos first and then watch this 0:18.

Weixing Ye, who is not EVER known as Scut, but is in fact known as OpenGL, who happens to be a member of clan SCUT, (sorry for the confusion :-)) has done a much better Nightmare 100% of scream in 1:23, an eight second improvement.

He then went on to attack the runs on dilcoa.

• First he came up with a cool new route to the top level to destroy Carl's old time for the Easy Run by nine seconds to get 0:29. He was a little worried that Carl might take offense at being made to look so stupid, and so I would like to offer him this small piece of reassurance. Fuck Carl. Fuck him and fuck the horse he rode in on. Go beat some more Tholin records. :-)
• He used the same route to do the Nightmare Run in the same time. 0:29.
• And then he managed to take one more second off of his Easy Run to bring it down to 0:28.

Getting back to Basil, the world's most bizarrely incomprehensible Dutchman, we find that he's done 4 nice demos with .txt files that are almost coherent!

• The runs on dwell were the first to go due to some fierce OG jumping.
  • First the Easy Run in 0:35, three seconds faster than Juozas.
  • Then the Nightmare Run also in 0:35, four seconds faster than the same fella.
• He has also been playing "Dodge the Snake" on alk07.
  • He got the Easy Run down to under a minute with this two second improvement to his previous run. 0:59.
  • And then the very difficult Nightmare Run in 1:15, twenty one seconds faster than Nolan.

And finally a big thanks to Tim and Carl-Johan for helping me out with the tricky, foreign letters with stupid dots above them. :-)

Sunday, March 10th by Stubby

Question of the evening - 12:36 AM

This is a trick question: Guess how many errors Ilkka did in his update! :-)

On another note: Ingmar has conducted a funny little interview with the man we all love and admire for his loony speedrunning skillz ...and of course his good looks :) Check Illmind Moves for the full Monty! (to Jozsef: Kimi fucking ownz!)

Tomorrow (hopefully), I'll have a few pictures to post from my recent trip to Norway. We drove through Sweden in order to reach our destination, and we made a pitstop in Uddevalla. I met 5 of the guys from the Udders and we had a fun, but also meaningless little chat for 20 minutes or so. The pictures we took actually turned out to be quite nice, but you can easily see who the old guy is (read: me)

I also want to give a huge thank to everyone who turned up and supported the The Nolans. It was really cool, and a huge success. Congratulations to all the winners (I was nominated in 3 categories but didn't win shit!, heheh). Let's hope the Nolans 2002 will be as much fun. Personally, I know that I will do my best to get 3 demos into the id NH category :-)

Saturday, March 9th by Ilkka

Question of the week - 11:10 PM

Hi... How many lavaballz does the CHTHON shoot in the first person view in SBBLITE2? drunk

Tuesday, March 5th by Morfans

Not This Time Carl... - 1:00 AM

I was talking to Timo on IRC the other night (guess where?) and he asked whether when he did a 1:05 Easy 100% of The Tower of Despair he would get a MUST DOWNLOAD. I replied that what he would in fact get is a TOO LATE, because Martin Selinus has responded to the challenge and reclaimed his record by one second to get the 1:05. Unfortunately, Martin also said that he is going to have to take a break for a while because his hands are, not to put too fine a point on it, fucked. But he has left us with this reminder of why we all call him Silky Smooth Selinus, the Speedy Swedish Sex Siren. He improved Markus's Nightmare Run of the same map by one second to get this incredible 0:30. WATCH THIS NOW!.

If there's some optimising that needs doing, where do you look? Straight at Valeriy Burmistrov, that's where.

• He has finished the job on close with this optimum 0:04 Easy Run. Since the grunt's have a tendency to dance around for five or six seconds before shooting you on Easy skill getting a grunt boost half way through a four second demo is not a trivial matter. But as the cool egg demo with this shows, that doesn't have to stop you...
• He also took one second off of Fabian's Easy 100% of doom2_01 to get 0:25. If he knew that Fab was Flurricane maybe he would have beaten it by more. :-)

The next three runs are by Jozsef Szalontai and all part of Speed Beyond Belief lite II, but they are all also new SDA records. If you haven't seen this yet then go and watch it NOW! Several times. And then watch this bbelief1 in 0:14, and this bbelief2 in 0:15, and this bbelief3 in 0:46. Then go back and watch SBBlite2 again.

Since we're on the subject, check out the QdQ Improvements Page to see what else the proflific Joe has been up to. And just as a point of note, it seems that the mighty PlanetQuake have made QdQ their Site of the Day! :-)

Speaking of PQ, I have to once again give a nod and a wink to Jube who keeps on writing such nice things about us. Good on you, girl! ;-)

Back to the regular demos now, we have finally received the first ever demos from Weixing Ye (better known on the message board as Scut). He has filled all the gaps on the tricky scream Coagula stylee map. Damn impressive for a rookie. :-)

• First, the Nightmare Run. Due to the huge number of monsters and incidental damage the double gren jump is not really an option, so he ran all the way to the end where he teamed up with a whole bunch of scrags to give the shambler a damn good thrashing. 0:45.
• Then he did the Easy 100% in 1:11.
• And finally he did the murderously difficult Nightmare 100%. This 1:31 features some nice monster dodging and a very tense final battle; check his health. :-)

In case you're wondering what happened to David Hocking, it seems that he's been spending his Quake time trying to improve Optic's Nightmare Run of ih1m2. And it would appear that he's had some success because this 0:38 is sixty seven seconds faster! The bit where he's dancing in and out of the deathknight fire with three health is just sooooo much fun. Every time I watch it I think he's going to die. :-)

Amrik Kochhar has done probably the most delicate, balletic quad rocket jump ever seen to beat Jozsef's Easy Run of critters by one second to get 0:16.

For our last demo we have the mighty Carl Tholin who has shown some fine class with this Easy 100% of elektra, reclaiming the record from Ilkka with this 0:54. Carl, please note. This is an Ilkka record. That wasn't the deal!

That's all for today. Once you've finished watching these mind-meltingly fine demos head on over to the site you voted "Site of the Year", Illmind Moves, and check out all the lovely things Ingmar had to say... :-)

Goodnight, my sweets.

Monday, March 4th by Morfans

Homoerotic Statues? LOL! - 8:46 PM

Hey there d00dz and d00d3773z, as you are probably aware The Nolans 2001 reached it's conclusion yesterday with a fun IRC presentation ceremony.

Thank you to everyone that made this event such a success, I can't believe just how much hard work it's been. The winners are all listed on the main page and the IRC logs of the party can be seen here.

In other, totally unrelated, news I see that Big AdamH has done another mammoth update on compet-n so head on over for the latest Doomy treats. While I was there I happenned across this, which for some reason I couldn't help but think looks somewhat.... hmmmmm... familiar? ;-D

That's it for today, I'm totally knackered. All the rest of the news, gossip and some incredible demos (Martin and Valeriy have been showing off again) coming very, very soon...

Sunday, March 3rd by Stubby

ROTW results are up! - 2:52 AM

Yo! Yet another edition of Run of the Whenever has ended, and this time with Jozsef as the clear overall winner and the main favorite to take the championship title. The devil himself (read: Peter Horvath) also took part, but he 'forgot' to record the 100%, so he didn't do as good as expected :) Maybe he has something up his sleeve for the next ROTW which I will announce soon(ish). Go check out all the demos, they are definitely worth a look, and also check out who advanced in the Championship Ladder.

The first Formula 1 race of the season starts in less than an hour, so I'm off now to prepare the popcorn and soda!! Kimi Räikkönen ownz!

Adios....

Friday, March 1st by Morfans

IRC Channels Sorted! - 8:32 PM

A big thanks to Amrik and Alex and Marvin and all the rest of you who set up the two new channels for Sunday's Nolans 2001 ceremony.

Getting in is a piece of cake. Before 19:30 (that's 7:30 PM) GMT (20:30 Denmark, Germany, Sweden, Hungary, Holland; 21:30 Finland; 22:30 Moscow; 15:30 Trinidad; 14:30 EST; 08:30 NZ; etc) simply log on to a ETG server...

irc.enterthegame.com

...and join #nolans and #nolans-speech. The #nolans-speech channel is where the presentations and gushing acceptance speeches will take place and #nolans will be for general chatter about who REALLY deserved to win. :-)

So come along and join the fun!! And in case you're bored, there may well be some of us lurking in the channels between now and Sunday...

Thursday, February 28th by Morfans

I Once Bit The Head Off A Dog. - 11:36 PM

The voting is finally over for the The Nolans 2001 and I should have the results counted up by tomorrow. Which means you should all haul your arses over to #planetquake on irc.enterthegame.com at 19:30 GMT (local times for most speedrunning countries will be published on The Nolans page as soon as I can work them out. :-) Earn youself valuable Morfy Points by telling me what 19:30 GMT is in your home town!!) to find out who's won!

Timo Nieminen has wasted no time further improving his Easy 100% of The Tower of Despair. Scared that Martin would get there first he has done this 1:06. Since I gave his last one a MUST DOWNLOAD and this is two seconds faster then I guess this one is too. :-)

The next demo is slightly strange. Thomas Bergendorf has improved DanielL's Easy Run of carnage by 12 seconds to 0:46. Why is it strange? Well, everyone knows that you can't do an OGJ to the gold key, but Thomas has found a way of doing a double OGJ which saves masses of time. But in this demo the ogre throws the second gren too soon so it looks like he only gets one OG worth of boost. But he still makes it! WITCHCRAFT!! BURN HIM!!

The man that put the Deval in Uddevalla, Carl Tholin, has been giving it large again.

• First he decided to slap Jonny back into place as he thought he'd been getting too uppity lately. So he beat his Easy 100% of rd1m2 by two seconds to get 1:18.
• He also did some very slick slope to slope jumping on elektra to take a second off of Ilkka's old Easy Run to 0:13. He thinks 0:12 should be possible but doesn't want us to mention it in the update. So I won't. :-)

The long, dark nights over in Finland have left Aleksander Osipov and Ilkka Kurkela with some spare time. So once they'd got home from a hard evening's burning down churches and slaughtering small, furry animals they found time to do three coops demos.

• First they took the Easy 100% of The Slipgate Complex off of DanielH and Jonny in a run that I really think must be optimum. 0:30
• Next they performed a speedrunning lesson everyone should watch. They completed the Easy 100% of the whole of The Dimension of the Doomed in 4:56, 48 seconds faster than Nolan and Justin. Loony skillz and mad tricks all the way through from both players, except for the shocking display by Alex trying to open the exit to the secret level. :-)
• And then because they thought Pretty Balls and Hanson were a couple of dumb Swedes that couldn't even find their own (or each others) arses with both hands and a map (Alex's words, not mine)[1] they beat their Easy 100% of The Necropolis by five seconds to get 0:45.

And just to lower the overall quality of this updates demos I have "improved" my fc_coag Nightmare 100% by five seconds to 1:40.

You think that's the end? Think again! Over on the QdQ Improvements page, Jozsef Szalontai has made TWO improvements to QdQwav runs! The first one is an awesome Chthon barbeque in 0:19 (which has been there a week but I forgot to mention it last time) and the second one is a, well, lucky 0:19 gib jump (which probably isn't posted yet so I've included it in the big.dz).

[1] Note: This is a lie. What Alex actually said was "Jeez, I love those guys."

Monday, February 25th by Morfans

Boop-boop-di-doo. - 7:31 PM

Well, I've been away working for a few days now but I've found the occasional five minutes here and there to write this update. So if it seems a bit disjointed it's because it's been mostly written on a laptop in the bar over several days. :-)

We'll start with a great Id improvement from Timo Nieminen. He has turned his attention to The Tower of Despair and beaten Martin's Easy 100% by one second to get 1:08. In his own words, "This was easy."!!! Don't believe him. This is a fine demo. MUST DOWNLOAD

Now for the rest of the LAN demos that I forgot last update. Jonny Andersson and Fredrik Eckers have improved the Easy Run of foon to 0:27, one second faster than Josh and Warren.

Jonny and The Bad Boy also found time to return to polygon2 and complete the Nightmare Run in 0:18, new to the tables. Fredrik's demo is quite simply amazing.

Pretty Balls and young Daniel Hanson have done a good, but very funny Easy 100% on rd1m3. They beat Jakob and Dan by nine seconds to get 1:11. Why is it funny? After all this time they can't help but try to bunny around the place, even though this is a Runner's Delight map. :-)

To finish, we have Me killing like the God of Death on fc_coag. Lots of lightning and curly jumps allowed me to do the Nightmare 100% in the reasonable time of 1:45.

And that's all the demos for this update. It's been a quiet couple of weeks, demowise, so to fill in the space I think I'll tell you the joke I heard last night. Who shall I pick on this time? The Uddevalla Massive are always an easy target, but this time I think it's the the turn of some of the German runners.

Marlo, Ingmar and Stefan were driving along the autobahn when they were involved in a bizarre lederhosen/sauerkraut related accident and all killed. When they arrived at the pearly gates they were met by St Peter who invited them all in. The first thing they noticed when they got into heaven was that there were ducks everywhere.
"We only have one rule here," said St Peter, "don't tread on the ducks." And then he vanished in puff of smoke.
They had only been there five minutes when *QUACK* Marlo treads on a duck. St Peter appears with a pair of handcuffs and the ugliest, most disgusting, foul smelling woman you could possibly imagine and walks up to Marlo. He cuffs them together and says "The two of you will now be chained together for all eternity."
"What? Just because I trod on a duck?" Says Marlo, but St Peter had gone.
A week later *QUACK* Stefan accidently treads on a duck. Once again St Peter appears with an even more hideous, loathesome old hag.
"The two of you will now be chained together for all eternity." He says.
"What? Just because I trod on a duck?" Says Stefan, but St Peter had gone.
Ingmar, not suprisingly, decides to be very careful. And he manages to go for a whole year and he still hasn't trod on a duck. St Peter appears with the most gorgeous, sexy, fragrant, alluring woman you can possibly imagine and walks up to Ingmar. "The two of you will now be chained together for all eternity." He says.

*Drumroll*

"What? Just because I trod on a duck?" Says the woman.

HA HA HA HA HA Sorry Ingmar. No offence meant. It'll be the Finn's turn next time, I think. :-)

Only three more days to get your vote in for The Nolans. Some of the categories already have a clear winner but some are still neck and neck. So if you haven't already done so, go and vote!

Right. I'm off to spend an evening with three of the most boring people in the history of the world. And people wonder why I drink so much! :-)

Tuesday, February 19th by Morfans

Goin' Wit' Da Flo - 2:50 PM

Our first demo today is from our man in Sosnovy Bor, Dan Stukanev. He has improved a run we all know and love, the Nightmare Run of hip2m1. Everybody knows that the quickest way up to the balcony is the grenade jump off of the falling ogre, don't they? Well oh no it fucking isn't! This 0:30 Must Download is one second faster than Amrik. Dan has also finally submitted a profile. Check it out.

Arturo Garcia Lasca has gone absolutely crazy on flo, improving all four records, most of them more than once, to take total ownage of the level.

• First off he improved Optic's Nightmare Run by five seconds using the good ol' bar hopping trick. 0:48.
• Having done that he tried his hand at the Easy Run and managed a 0:47, one second faster than Ilkka.
• And it was just a matter of time before he also improved the Nightmare Run to 0:47 as well.
• He then moved on to the 100% records, destroying Mads-Peter's Nightmare 100% record from last week by 21 seconds to get 1:03.
• The Easy 100% toppled soon after. 1:02, twenty five(!) seconds faster than Marlo.
• A little more route tweaking enabled him to take another two seconds off of the Nightmare 100%. 1:01
• Which meant that the Easy 100% was slower than the Nightmare 100%, which of course would not do so he improved that also by another two seconds to 1:00.

Jonny Andersson and some of The Udders[1] have been LANing it up and have produced some cool demos. Unfortunately, I've only mailed two of them to myself at work (where I'm writing this) so the others will have to wait until next time. But we can start with Jonny doing the Easy Run of foon one second faster than his previous record. 0:37.

Pretty Balls also teamed up with Fredrik Eckers to do a massive slopey lightning boost on polygon2 to complete the Easy Run in 0:20.

Getting back to Ken, he has also done a rather nice improvement to his Nightmare 100% of hellctle. Some smooth running and a different tactic at the first shambler enabled him to keep quadded up all the way through the last shambler to get this fourteen second improvement to 1:48.

And for this update's last demo, I have improved my Easy 100% of terror by thirteen seconds to 1:55.

There has been a slight complication with The Nolans presentation as Stubby is in Norway and I'm going to be working away from home that weekend until the Monday or maybe even Tuesday. Therefore the date will now DEFINITELY be Sunday 3rd March 2002 (I'll update The Nolans page to reflect this later today), early evening GMT, time and channel to be confirmed when I find a channel to use. :-) If anybody can help out in this respect...

Finally, I'd like to say get well soon, bud, to Stubby who has been a little sickly this week, the poor wee lamb.

[1] LOL. I crack me up sometimes. Uddevalla - The Udders. ROFL.

Sunday, February 17th by Stubby

Elin = Dick ?!?!? - 1:48 PM

Due to the fact that I'll be away from Friday 22nd to Saturday 2nd (I'll be visiting my dad in Norway), I thought this would be the best time to post the new ROTW. This map is courtesy of Robert Axelsson. Go check out what it's all about here.

Oh yeah, I guess you guys want an explanation for what that cheesy headline is all about!! :)
Well, here goes...What does the name Elin have to do with such a vulgar thing as the male re-productive organ?? Just a few minutes after I posted this ROTW contest, Timo informed me that Elin means dick in Finnish!!! The question that remains is: Will Robert be flamed by Elin for this little screwup, or will he try everything in his power to keep it a secret from her? We'll keep you updated if any groundbreaking news turns up...

Now, go play the female dick map everyone....

Wednesday, February 13th by Morfans

Mama-mia, here we go again... - 6:50 PM

... my my, how can I resist you?

Poignant words, I think you'll agree. World class philosophy from the second greatest thing ever to come out of Sweden. The greatest ever, of course being...

Martin Selinus has taken a further two seconds off of his Easy 100% of The Wizard's Manse. Lots of cool quad boosting in the water/slime and rocket jumping go in to this 1:20.

Oh! Wait! The second greatest thing ever to come of of Sweden is, of course Daniel Magnusson! The man sometimes known as "The Blue Elephant From Jabba's Palace Band" has found some time to do his 473rd improvement to his 100% demos on critters.

• He took three more seconds off of the Easy 100% to get 0:52, faster than the thought to be optimum time. :-)
• And also three seconds off of the Nightmare 100%. 0:53. Very impressive.

Damn. And I was forgetting some of the Swedish pr0n. That can be pretty good too, allegedly. Okay, so Abba were in fact the fourth greatest thing to come out of Sweden. Which reminds me of a joke: What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?

*Drumroll*

Einstein's cock!

Moving swiftly on, the two outstanding gaps in the table for terror have been filled in fine style...

• Fern has amazed us all by doing a some demos that are not on ikspq5!
  • First he thought that he'd fill the gap for the Nightmare Run with this 0:42, and then said he was finished with this run.
  • But a couple of days later he sent in this much slicker 0:39, and then said he was finished with this run because he'd heard that Jozsef had done a 0:38.
  • But Joe held his demo back for a while to give Fern a shot at the record because he's such a nice guy (in fact, he has won Hungary's "Mr Nice Guy" award for the last three years running!) and, with the help of a well placed Deathknight, America's newest shock-jock managed this 0:38.
• And just to pass an idle hour I did an Easy 100% table filler in 2:08. This run is worth doing just for the mass scrag killing. :-)

The man who inspired Martin Scorsese to make Raging Bull, Amrik Kochhar, has further improved his Easy 100% of jjspq1. This time by two more seconds to get 2:54.

The most talented member of the Stubgaard family, Mads-Peter, has gone to work on Matthias's Nightmare 100% of flo. Using a nice, safe way of killing the two ogres, this 1:24 is thirteen seconds faster than Mr Belz. The zombie kills were very smooth but for some reason Mads didn't even try to use the SNG-curly-bunny-bar-trigger trick at the end.

Don't forget to head on over to the Cheated Site which Stubby has updated with seven new runs from Alex, Joe and Rutger.

And for all of you aspiring recammers out there, Vondur has done an excellent tutorial to show you all how easy it can be. Go there! Learn! Recam!

Finally, I just couldn't finish this update without putting the words The Nolans here in big, bolded letters. The response has been brilliant so far and the feedback to the IRC suggestion very positive. So hopefully I'll have a time, date and channel to announce in the next couple of days. I can't say for sure yet because I have to go away and work that weekend but chances are it will be on the Sunday.

Stay clean, my brothers and sisters. Stay clean.

Tuesday, February 12th by Morfans

They're Up!! - 2:50 PM

Eh? What does he mean "They're Up!!"? Is he talking about The Nolans Nominations Results or the Run of the Whenever results? And who does he think he is using multiple !!s?

The answer is, BOTH OF THEM. Firstly, the results of the latest Run of the Whenever are up. It was another very popular competition with a high turnout of entries, but one man 0wn3d j00 all!

And finally, the nominations are in and counted (after a slight delay due to my wife falling ill. Nothing serious, she's much better now. :-)) and so it's time for you all to head on over to The Nolans and choose who will win the highest accolades in the speedrunning world. Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell people you don't even know!

Apart from anything else, it's a good excuse to watch the absolute cream of the last year's demos again. I'd forgotten how amazing some of them were. *sniff* And it reminded me that I'll never be that good. *WAAAAAAGGGGHH*

Stay tuned for the latest demos, trivia, news and swearing. Coming later/tomorrow.

Thursday, February 7th by Morfans

Das ist nur ein tablefiller. - 6:18 PM

A whole week since the last demo update! This really will not do! However, since I've been on holiday for most of the last week I think you'll all forgive me. I came back all fresh, happy and rested, then I went back to work yesterday and I'm now back to my old stressed, grouchy and tired self. :-)

We start the demos off with a three seconds improvement to his recent Easy 100% of The Haunted Halls by Thomas "The Id Death Machine" Stubgaard. This 1:29 has some wicked bunnying, mad axe killing, monster dodging, long range zombie killing, telefragging, and much more besides. Everything, in fact, to make it a MUST DOWNLOAD.

Staying with Stubby for a minute, he took his whore hammer (like a bitch-slapping stick but slightly larger) to my Nightmare 100% of n3sp03 and improved it by 62 seconds to get 6:33. Lot's of mad play and a neat way of killing the two annoying fire shamblers.

And now, some demos on the new "Kwag" maps.

• First, three heart warming demos on fc_coag .
  • Daniel Andersson went on a killing spree and managed to do the Easy 100% in 1:17.
  • Then he did loads of twisting and slope jumping and just about manages to avoid falling into the void to do the Easy Run in 0:57.
  • But a shambler telefrag and some loony bunnying means that this 0:45 from Jozsef Szalontai takes the record by 12 seconds.
• Moving on to dilcoa.
  • We've had the first new demo for quite a while from the Uddevalla Bad Boy, Fredrik Eckers. He used a curvey slope bunny around the bars to do the Easy Run in 1:02.
  • But this record stood for about ten minutes and then the Uddevalla Big Boy, Carl Tholin, showed his class, getting to the top much quicker using a deathknight grenade jump and then making faster kills at the end to get 0:38, a 24 second improvement.
• And to finish off we have a superb, inspirational, dynamic, exciting, sexy Nightmare 100% by Me on terror. It's enough to make your packet overflow. 2:35.

Next we have the lean, green, photosynthesising machine otherwise known as Fern. No prizes for guessing that he has improved his Nightmare Run of ikspq5 for the sixth time. This time he manages a three second improvement to 1:04 by using a sloping crate lid jump back from the GL instead of jumping around all the boxes.

The man who has inspired more James Brown songs than any other speed runner, Amrik Kochhar, has improved his Easy 100% of jjspq1 by one second to get 2:56. A much faster start and then loads of mistakes near the end. :-)

Getting back to Jozsef for the final demo of this update, he has run in a one second improvement to his Easy Run of one of my favourite custom levels, hayduke1. I'm not sure where the gain comes from to get this 0:27, I can only assume that Joe just keeps getting faster and faster.

Over on the QdQ Improvements page mad, bad Valeriy Burmistrov has produced a (blue) hell of a good demo. Slide on over and check it out. (Or you could just use this link, I suppose).

There's only a couple of days left to get your nominations in for The Nolans, then the proper voting can start. Some of the nominations have been a little suprising, such as Johan for "All Time Great" and Ilkka for "Rookie of the Year", but generally it's looking very good. And don't forget to get your Palace of Eight demos in before Mondays deadline.

And so, I'll leave you with this thought: While I was away I managed to catch up on a lot of reading, and I was amazed at just how many Quake/speedrunning references there were in classical British literature. I won't bore you with most of them, but this one from the great Robert Burns was too good to ignore. (Don't worry if it doesn't make too much sense to you. It's a well known fact that 76% of English people and an amazing 93% of Scottish people can't understand a word he says either).

...wi'oot mach pain, I hawv tha red, owf slope the terr'ble fiendy boost,
Ma throo tha eire owr monst'rous hoarde, ta grab tha quaddy haggis there.

I wanted to fit in the line upon ma kelt I hung ma spawn as well but I couldn't think how to fit it in. I hope at least one person found this funny. I laughed so hard while I was writing it I very nearly pissed myself. And with that thought fresh in you minds, goodnight.

Friday, February 1st by Stubby

Let's take a stroll down memory lane... - 8:49 PM

Ilkka was being nostalgic (and intoxicated) the other night when I spoke to him on ICQ. He was counting how many updates he had done for SDA, and how many demos he had posted. Just for the fun of it, he starting counting my updates too, and how many demos I've posted, and guess what.... To this day we've posted exactly the same amount of demos for SDA!! 604 each, and a total of 1208, which is more than fifth the total amount of demos on SDA, amazing isn't it :-)

Don't forget to vote for The Nolans. It's coming along pretty well. It's going to be very exciting to see the final outcome.

Also, be sure to check out the RotW. I think all my screwups has been fixed by now....

Thursday, January 31st (2nd update) by Morfans

Many Words - Few Demos! - 5:18 PM

Hey there, everyone. Seems like Stubby has had one or two teething problems with the latest RotW. Looks like it's all sorted now, though, so don't be too hard on the poor dumb Dane. :-)

Also, you might be wondering why we have only added four of the five Coagula Contest maps to the archive. Well, as superb a single player level as Necros's entry was, it was also the only one that used custom code and sounds; all the others worked fine as stand alone .bsp maps. Therefore it would have meant writing a new stats prog just for this one map.

Speaking of which, it seems like our good buddy Fern over at TeamFERN has got hold of slightly the wrong end of the stick regarding comps and coags , bless him. :-)

In the words of Big Arnie in Conan the Destroyer, "Enough talk!". Let's get on with the demo round-up. As always, we'll start with the Id improvements.

• Martin Selinus has used a very cool trick (a double grenade jump off a dog) to improve Fabian's Nightmare Run of The Installation - The Long Way by one second to get 0:45. As usual, Marvin has threatened to improve this when he has time. Will it be a 0:44 or a 0:43? Place your bets...
• And secondly, a coop improvement. Thomas "Lag Master" Stubgaard and myself, Richard "No Funny Nickname" Skidmore have totally owned Flecker and Waggy on The Tower of Despair with this 1:14 Nightmare 100%, seven seconds faster than the Eye-merican duo. This demo was fueled (on my side) by homemade strawberry and rhubarb wine, we thought about trying to take another second off the time but by then my eyesight was failing...

Only three other demos for this update, but then again it's only been two days. :-)

• Amrik Kochhar has gone medieval on the arse of DanielA's jjspq1 Easy 100% with this 19 second improvement. 2:57. There's not much scope for route changes on this map, this is simply faster running.
• Arturo Garcia Lasca has wasted no time improving his Easy 100% of chessp1. This two seconds improvemnet arrived even before the last update was posted. Fast work indeed. 0:56.
• And finally, Jonny Andersson has done a proper improvement to my Nightmare 100% of sgc5. He managed to take seven seconds off by doing proper bunnies and some better play around the key room to get 1:42. Okay, Pretty-Balls, you win. Have the stupid record. :-)

That's all for today. I'm going away for the weekend as from tomorrow, so if you see my ICQ on on Saturday or Sunday then Abi's brother is using my PC to surf for pr0n, so please feel free to send him an "Oi! Simon! Put your dick away!" message.

Thursday, January 31st by Stubby

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! - 1:44 AM

I fucking suck! I didn't notice an obvious mistake in the progs which meant you could collect both GL's instead of taking the Quad and one GL. I'm deeply sorry for all this trouble, but I guess you just have to download the progs again. Get it here. Thanks to Brent and Alex for pointing it out to me. I've prolonged the deadline with 2 days because of these screwups. Sorry everyone...

Wednesday, January 30th by Stubby

ROTW + NEW MAPS - 2:40 PM

The first contest in 2002 will be a 'mini' contest, followed by a 'real' contest as soon as this one ends. Check out the rules and download the progs for the new contest here. Good luck!

The new maps are all part of the Coagula mapping contest:

• dilcoa - I See Dead People by Dilvish. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map dil_xxx.
• fc_coag - Crisis After Crisis by Fat Controller. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map cris_xxx.
• scream - Star Scream by Tronyn. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map scre_xxx.
• terror - The Terracotta Terror by Tronyn. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map terr_xxx.

You can grab all four maps from here, and read a review of all the maps here.

• Jozsef Szalontai has done the Easy Run on scream in 0:16, and the Easy Run on terror in 0:26.

Enjoy!

UPDATE 6:20 PM
Of course I had to screw something up!...Get the corrected readme/progs here.

Tuesday, January 29th by Morfans He's Back! or Intermission Madness! or

A.S.S. M.A.S.T.E.R! - 6:51 PM

Typical, eh? I always find the hardest thing about writing an update is coming up with the title. But this time there were three obvious ones to choose from, so I decided to use them all. :-)

We'll begin with two MUST DOWNLOAD Id Easy 100% demos.

• Thomas Stubgaard has again been swinging his mighty weapon in The Haunted Halls. This 1:32 is two seconds faster than his previous but it's one of those demos that looks like it should be much faster. Go figure.
• And of course, if we're doing Id updates we would expect to see one by Jozsef Szalontai. This time around he decided to improve his The Nameless City Easy 100%, and not just by one or two seconds but by fourteen seconds! Should have been 15 really but he started playing like a big girl [1] at the final secret. 2:44

It's been a long while since we've seen a jzblue improvement, but Martin Selinus has bucked the trend and improved his Easy 100% of jzblue_2 by one second by using even more stupidly fast play. This MUST DOWNLOAD 0:12 features the first of todays intermission kills, this one courtesy of a quadded grenade.

It's been idiot week here at SDA. Those that saw the last demo update within the first two hours that it was posted or downloaded the big.dz from the UK mirror may have seen Amrik Kochhar's "Nightmare Run" on jjspq1. Those with a keen eye, like Nolan (who kindly removed it from the update), will have noticed that it was in fact recorded on Easy skill. So Amrik is an idiot for sending it in and I am an idiot for not noticing. However, Amrik is also a hero because within 24 hours of realising his mistake he had recorded a legitimate Nightmare Run in 1:06, three seconds faster than Thomas. :-)

Staying on jjspq1, Daniel Andersson has gone 100% crazy.

• He improved his previous Nightmare 100% by forty five(!) seconds to 3:37. Good work, my fluffy young Swede.
• And then he did a table filler Easy 100% in 3:16. I wonder if P-B will try to beat this by one second.

It's always a happy occasion when someone you think has shuffled off this speedrunning coil and disappeared forever suddenly pops up out of nowhere with a couple of demos. We all thought he'd got so high that he'd floated out of Earth's gravity and drifted off into the void, but here, beginning his push for "1000 demos submitted" with two improvements to my czg_moon Nightmare 100%, first by twenty five seconds to 3:41, and then by a further sixteen to 3:25, I give you Mr Justin Fleck! Welcome back, d00d! (Expect another Optic demo in 2003) ;-)

Next we have two very cool demos on prison from two of the more bizarre denizens of the SDA frogpool.

• First to arrive was a bitch-kicking Easy 100% from Carl Tholin. He came up with a cool new route to destroy Anders's previous by seven seconds to 0:49. This is our second grenade based intermission kill of the update.
• But Carl has lost his Easy Run to Basil de Vries by one second to 0:26. This is an excellent run, probably the best I've seen from Basil. It's just a shame he seems to have used the .txt from his Nightmare 0:27. This is, of course, not unusual for our friend in Holland. The mistakes and insane ramblings in his .txt files are legendary. I'm just waiting for the day when the time, the skill and the name of the map are all wrong. :-)

Which all brings us nicely on to Arturo Garcia Lasca. Ken, as some would call him, has sent in three Easy 100% demos of his usual high quality (I presume I'm not the only one who's noticed just how much his playing has come on recently?) and also a new profile. If we were giving a Nolan Award for the longest profile this would win by a mile.

• First was evilpool where he took thirteen seconds off of his previous time to get 0:54. This demo also has an intermission kill, and a proper INB kill at that!
• Then he started Fraction Fighting[tm] on escape and improved Jonny's 1:04 to 1:03.
• And his final demo is a beauty. He changed the route on chessp1 to produce a 3 second improvement to Jonny's time. 0:58.

Our final demo for this update is by me. I reclaimed the Nightmare 100% of sgc5 from Jonny by six seconds to get this reasonable 1:49. Beat this by exactly one second. Not two or three or ten. One second. I dare you.

The response to The Nolans has already been amazing, the number of nominations is piling up nicely. I must apologise to anyone that uses a browser other than IE who tried to vote on Saturday night or Sunday. Due to my sloppy HTML coding there was a problem seeing anything other that the top of the page. Big thanks to Stefan for spotting this and showing me what I did wrong.

And finally, since I've mentioned it before, I thought I'd tell you that I'd finally had a chance to have a good play on my "new" 1.5Ghz P4. And what a total pile of wank Windows XP really is. As far as I'm concerned Billy Boy can shove his new licensing up his arse. Sideways. I've now re-formatted the disk in it to erase any trace of that hateful operating system and I'm trying to find either my Windows 98 or SuSE install CD. I will get to coop in my own house soon!!

[1] The management here at SDA would like to point out that the writers use of the expression "a big girl" was meant as harmless fun and was in no way sexist or sizest. It is a matter of public record that Morfans has got nothing against large women. In the past he has had things IN them, but not against them. Goodnight.

Sunday, January 27th by Stubby

SDA 'Site of the Day' @ pq.com - 8:29 PM

It rarely happens, but once again SDA has been voted 'Site of the Day' at planetquake.com. Thanks to PQ.com and to Jube for giving us a chance to bask in glory...

Quake done Quick has been updated twice in the last week! Here's what Stefan and Ingmar had to say:

• Since our Scourge done Slick comes with various pak files, we provided MS-DOS users with a batch file to cope with the installation. We now have a similar installer for Amiga users, courtesy of Thomas Veress. The installer is available from the Scourge done Slick page, or from Aminet
• Something funny (but not necessarily new) just caught our attention as it recently became "competitive": Fallout speedrunning. Yes, you've read right - speedruns through the Interplay RPG "Fallout", or even side-phenomenas just as "finish the game without killing anything", have been practised for quite some time already, as the game is backed by a huge fan-base which is producing even the weirdest stuff (take this as a compliment :). The guys at Fallout Wastelands now called for a contest code-named Fallout done Quicker to finish the game as fast as possible, in order to beat their very first "Quick Run" through Fallout 1 done by FWL owner Neelon Rokk. The contest page with all it's belonging informations can be found here. Although it would be doubtful if any of us "Quakers" will enter that contest, I thought it may be an interesting thing to post, at least because I'm a Fallout lover by myself. Keep that thing rolling!

Note: You only have 1 vote for the Nolans! Please read The Nolans carefully before you vote, thanks.

Saturday, January 26th by Morfans

It's time for... - 9:34 PM

You remember the heady days of 2001. The smiles, the runs, the tears, the demos and the... errr... other stuff as well.

It's nearly a month late, but please help us to decide who was great and who sucked in the last year of Quake Speedrunning.

Ladies and Gentlemen. It's my privilege, pleasure, honour, pleasure and privilege to announce...this.

Thursday, January 24th by Morfans

Bajs! - 6:34 PM

It's been quite a quiet week demo-wise, but that's suited me just fine as I've spent the week working on something else. You remember waaaay back in December when Thomas said we were going to have a little Christmas suprise for you? Well, it's finally almost ready! A little late, I know, but what the hell. Just keep watching this space.

And while you're waiting, pass the time by feasting your eyes on these bastards...

Markus Taipale has produced another outstanding demo in the Chambers of Torment. He used the same hellish fiend boost (HFB) as he did in his recent Easy Run to improve his Nightmare Run by one second to 0:28.

For the squillionth time Timo Nieminen has recaptured his Easy 100% of The Crypt of Decay from Martin. This time he managed to be one second faster by using the intermission nail bug (INB) to get the final kill. This crazy 1:08 is a MUST DOWNLOAD.

Aleksander Osipov has done both of the Easy demos on wishes. But since I haven't got the map and the link is down at the moment I haven't seen them yet so I can make no comments (MNC). So in "Classic SDA" style I shall just list the facts. :-)

• Easy Run in 0:16, one second faster (OSF) than Matthias.
• Easy 100% in 2:07, eleven seconds faster than Nolan.

Much as I don't like to feed his ego, Jonny Andersson's demos just keep getting more impressive.

• He has done an excellent Easy Run of foon one seconds faster than Daniel by doing the long bunny to slope jump (LB2SJ) much earlier. 0:38.

Actually, I take what I just said back. This next demo is rubbish.

• He beat my table filler Nightmare 100% of sgc5 by one second to get 1:55. FFS P-B, beating a Morfy table filler (MTF) by one second?? Even I can do better than that!

And finally, people often ask me why people spend large amounts of time speedrunning. Is it for the fame? The adulation? The sex? The sense of achievement? The fun? Well, now the truth can be revealed. We do it for the possiblility of the big buck sponsorship deals, beautifully illustrated here by Stubby.

Wednesday, January 23rd by Stubby

Fatty ownz Coagula.... - 1:03 PM

I advise everyone with just a slight interrest in Q1 mapping to check out the Coagula mapping contest which has just been released after more than three months of waiting. Fern had already reviewed it in advance and this is what he had to say about the maps included in the contest. Fat Controller took the win, but I personally think the other maps are just as good. But go check them out yourselves, you won't be disappointed!

The cheated site has been updated once again with 4 slick demos by Rutger Baks. There's still alot of tablefillers to be done...

Friday, January 18th by Morfans

Kids these day! *tsch* I Remember This Website When It Was All Just Fields! - 6:40 PM

It's not very often that you see a Jozsef Id demo owned, but I'm sure you remember his superb Azure Agony Nightmare Run from less than two weeks ago? Well, it has prompted Markus "The Master" Taipale to fight back and come up with several major route tweaks. I won't spoil the demo by telling you what they are but in total they save him two complete seconds. This 0:52 is an absolute MUST DOWNLOAD. Back to you, Mr Szalontai?

We continue to tidy up after the QdQ productions. This time we have a demo from tRR (yes, that's right, the first one) by Ilkka Kurkela that was faster than the Evan's record of the time but was never added to the tables. It has since been destroyed by Markus but this 0:36 of The Necropolis is still very much worth seeing again, even if only for the backwards grenade jump...

Keeping to the superseded QdQ runs for a minute, there have recently been two Qd100Qwav records that no longer represent the state of the art but had already been recammed by Vondur. They are Termination Central in 1:37 by Stubby and Castle of the Damned in 1:10 by Alex. The recams are too good to be wasted so they have been added to the .dzs for the records and to save you from having to download the whole lot again they are included in the big demo .dz at the end of the update. Aren't we good to you???

I don't think I've ever seen a bad Robert Axelsson demo, and if he keeps saying nice things about me in his .txt files I will never say I have. :-) He took my advice from the last update about edom seriously, and then he just got carried away...

• He skipped the quad on the Easy Run and managed to run in a six second improvement to 1:05.
• But then he also skipped the SSG to save another two seconds. 1:03. Both of these runs should maybe be one seconds faster. Check out his less than optimal rocket boosts to the exit to see what I mean. :-)
• Then he tackled the fiendishly difficult Nightmare run skipping both the Quad and SSG!! He improved Justin's record by 9 seconds to get 1:17. This has a nice egg demo with it showing just how lucky those damned ogres can be sometimes...

Arturo Garcia Lasca has not been slacking either. He went to work on epoch producing four very slick looking demos.

• First he improved his own Easy Run by one second to get 0:56.
• Then he took two seconds off of Evan's Easy 100% with some lovely looking moves. 1:43. Impressive.
• And finally he pissed all over Thomas's Nightmare run, first improving it by six seconds to 1:22.
• And then by another six seconds to 1:16.

Speaking of Thomas Bergendorff: You'll remember that this is the person that said that the JJSPQ maps were boring for running on? Well, he's sent in another two cool runs on them anyway. :-)

• He has recaptured the Nightmare Run of jjspq1 back from DanielA by two seconds to get 1:09.
• And improved his Easy Run of jjspq2 by one second to get 0:48.

Back to Ilkka again. He was not too impressed with Anders's Easy 100% of n3sp03 so he recorded this fifty eight second improvement to 4:23. And then he wasn't very impressed with that either so he recorded this 4:11 a few days later. C'mon someone! Do a 4:00 or less!

Finishing off with the "Single Demo Posse".

• Fern improved his Nightmare Run of ikspq5 by one second and posted it up on TeamFern but didn't send it to us. Well, we found it, took it and posted it anyway. :-) 1:07.
• Wim Loones has found a cool new jump over the bars on kjsp1 which allowed him to do this 0:58, two seconds faster than his previous record.
• Amrik Kochhar took me completely by surpise with this demo. He has managed another one second improvement to his Nightmare 100% of "The Ugly Map" : beach1. Arguments continue over whether this 0:18 should go on the unbeatable records list.
• Last, and from the picture below probably least, we have an Easy Run of cdespair by Jonny Andersson. He did it in 0:44, two seconds faster than previously. P-B has also sent in a revised profile just to remind us that he is probably the most ridiculous person ever to submit a demo to SDA. ;-)

Enjoy the demos. I'm SURE that Stubby wanted me to mention something else in this update but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. :-)

Thursday, January 17th by Stubby

Oh my...... - 12:33 PM

Sunday, January 13th by Morfans

Ther redst ov ther demoz - 4:28 PM

Word up, my Brothers. Power to ya face, and all that bollocks.

This is just by way of being a short update to fix a couple of mistakes, omissions and sabotages that have crept in to the last few updates. Then to finish up we have a reminder of why this page is sometimes called "The Robert Axelsson Custom Run Extravaganza!"

But wait... Did I say sabotage? Yes, it unfortunately looks as if Nolan has taken to waiting until I've done an update and then adding several bad links and occassionally deleting whole paragraphs so that it looks like I've forgotten to include some of the demos. It's the only explanation. Otherwise it would mean that I'd been making mistakes, and that idea is just far too ridiculous to even began to entertain. (sic)

To start off I'd like to say a big Quakey thanks to our Doomy buddy Adam Hegyi for pointing out the obvious mistake that I ma.., I mean that Stubby made by not noticing that Martin Selinus's Easy 100% of Termination Central from his recent Episode 3 marathon is in fact one second quicker than his old Qd100Qlite2 demo. So here for your enjoyment is the official second fastest Easy 100% of Termination Central. 1:12. And if anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, points out that Martin probably got a whole load of 1:11s before getting his QdQ time I may resort to sarcasm.

I would also like to apologise on Stubby's behalf to Marlo Galinski for the delay in posting his latest czg03 Easy 100% demo. You see, Thomas was too busy selling crack to school children to remind me that Marlo had done yet another 10 second improvement to his previous time to get 4:11.

And to round off the update, it looks like Robert Axelsson has been hard at his studies since getting back to Uni as he has produced four new demos in the last couple of days.

• Firstly, he seems to have taken my comments in the last update about his pb2 Nightmare Run to heart and he quickly improved it to 0:21. Now, if anyone fancies a real challenge they might like to go for the 0:20 by skipping the quad and doing a "double grenade plus ogre grenade" jump instead. It might just about get you high enough...
• Then he destroyed Optic's times for the Runs on grc4beta and reminded us why he is known (as usual, probably by me only) as "Mr Air-Control".
  • First to fall was the Easy Run which he did in 0:56, three seconds faster.
  • For the Nightmare Run he decided to run it like a real man and skipped the Pentagram. He somehow survived and completed the run seven seconds faster than Justin and one second faster than his Easy Run. 0:55
• To finish off he improved the Easy Run of a map that I can't decide if I love or hate, edom. He did it one second faster than Justin to get 1:11. Not much more to say, really. Except that I'm not sure that the quad is actually needed to do this run. I might be wrong, of course...

That's all for tonight, enjoy the demos. And remember: slappin' to ya biatch, keep strokin' it long.

Saturday, January 12th by Morfans

Id Madness And A War For The Castle... - 1:19 PM

...and a whole shit-load of other demos besides. I turn my back for one week and what happens? A pile of demos the size of an elephant turns up! And ohhhhh, the quality! Come on: put your hand on the screen. Just feel the quality of these demos... Starting, as always, with the MUST DOWNLOAD Id improvements.

• Jozsef Szalontai has once again proved how he earned his Bunny Machine name. He has taken one second off the Nightmare Run of Azure Agony, usurping Markus by one second. The only differences I could see between this 0:54 and Markus's record is a small spawn boost near the end and maybe a slightly faster vore kill at the end. Frighteningly good.
• But if Joe is the Machine, then Markus Taipale has proved he is the Bunny Master by improving his Easy run of The Pain Maze by a full three seconds to 0:41. The biggest saving is the inclusion of the second quad boost at the end (just like in QdQwav except without the red armour), but just check out the opening bunny sequence: pixel perfect.
• Timo Nieminen has gone a-romping and a-stomping and a-hooting and a-hollering through The Crypt of Decay in an outrageously fast time. This 2:05 Nightmare 100% is eighteen seconds faster than his previous time. To sum this demo up. Run, dodge, run, dodge, run, dodge, get the GL, death, death, death, death, death, quad, DEATH, DEATH, exit.
• Next we have two Id records that aren't records at all. They have been blanked out of the tables for *ages* because they were going to be included in Qd100Qlite2 but they have recently been beaten. So enjoy these demos, they show you the second best Easy 100%s ever recorded on these levels. (BTW. Don't forget to check the tables to see the new record times. Thomas has just updated the tables with all new QdQ project 100% records. :-))
  • Martin Selinus did Termination Central in 1:13, two seconds faster than Marlo.
  • And for our last demo we have Ilkka Kurkela doing a lightning fast 0:57 through The Sewage System. There is also a very cool recam of this demo by WarKosign included in the .dz.

Marlo should be proud. His hc map has turned into a fight to the death with once again more demos being done on it than any other map this update. Last time Arturo Garcia Lasca walked away with every Single Player record. This time he fought an all out war with Aleksander Osipov to try and hold on to them. We start off with the score at...

Ken 4 : 0 Alex

• The Nightmare 100% was the first to go with me getting a pretty good 1:19, 12 seconds faster. But that record lasted all of about 6 hours before Alex sent in this 1:14.
  Ken 3 : 1 Alex
• The Nightmare Run saw Ken improve his own run by one second to 0:46 before Alex took this one from him, improving it by one more second to 0:45. He then added a fiend boost to get this shit hot 0:37, eight seconds faster still!
  Ken 2 : 2 Alex
• The Easy 100% was a far simpler affair. Alex just cruised in with this 0:59, two seconds faster than Ken, then this 0:54 and finally this 0:53.
  Ken 1 : 3 Alex
• But the real dirty fighting came on the Easy Run. First Alex took the record by one second with this 0:43.
  Ken 0 : 4 Alex
• Then Ken came over all "Mel Gibson" and with a cry of "They may take our map, but they'll never take our Easy Run!" he fought back with this 0:42.
  Ken 1 : 3 Alex
• But ownage cannot be denied. And with one final huge effort Alex proved who's the daddy by sending in this 0:41.
  Ken 0 : 4 Alex

Nice work, gentlemen. I've really enjoyed watch this develope over the last week. But now on with the rest of the demos.

I'm going to start with this demo by Amrik "Coca"-Kochhar because the Easy Run of scoop is quite special to me as it was one of the first demos I ever did. It took me literally weeks to do my 1:28, which Optic soon improved to 1:17 using the same route and now, two and a half years later, Amrik has added another small RJ to get 1:15.
Actually. Now I look at it I think Kochhar-Cola would have been better.

This week has also seen the return of Mads-Peter Stubgaard, occasionally known in these parts as Stubby Jr or perhaps Even Stubbier. Mads has had a short break from speed running as he's been very "busy" since his brother introduced him to the twin concepts of beer and porn...

• His returning demo was the first ever Stubgaard family Rogue demo. He did the Nightmare Run of r1m1 in the impressive time of 1:21, three seconds faster than Jan.
• The then moved on to do both 100% demos of bast.
  • First the Nightmare 100%. He has come up with a new route for the "middle" section which allowed him to exit in 1:28, 6 seconds faster than Andrey.
  • And then the Easy 100% in the same time of 1:28, 9 seconds faster than Andrey.
  • Just to give you all an insight into Danish life, here is a picture of the Stubgaards on New Years Eve. There is another, let's call it "different", picture of Thomas from that night that I will be posting next time unless a large pile of money arrives at my house in the next few days....

Hopping across the water to Sweden we find that Daniel Andersson has not been idle.

• He did the Nightmare Run of jjspq1 seven seconds faster than Thomas to get 1:11.
• Then he did a tablefiller Nightmare 100% on the same map in 4:22.
• And finally from Daniel we have a demo featuring, as far as I know, a brand new, never before seen trick! He did the Nightmare Run of cdes in 1:15, 2 seconds faster than Justin. This demo includes a fish boost, but not in the way you'd think: this is a fish bite boost and the fish is sticking out of the wall at the time. Now, since the damage was only 2 the boost was very small, but he's still the only person ever to do a WallFish-BiteBoost. :-)

Staying on that sticky-out bit at the top of Europe for the final demo of this update, Robert Axelsson's Christmas with Elin seems to have done him good. He has improved Justin's Nightmare Run of pb2 by three seconds to 0:22 with some mad bunnying and some clever play. :-) But he was very slow to move off of the start and this is a very low decimal...

Enjoy the demos. I'd love to stay around and talk some more but I've got to go and polish my purple rod.

Monday, January 7th by Morfans

Owned.....By Ken?!?! - 1:22 AM

I promised you two mouth waterers, and here they are. If you're disappointed with these then there is no hope for you at all.

Firstly, Jozsef Szalontai has done what he said he would and taken another second off of the Easy 100% of Castle of the Damned. Believe me. This 0:49 is a Must Download.

And for today's second major treat Martin Selinus has improved Marlo's Easy 100% Marathon of Episode 3 : The Netherworld by thirty four seconds to get this Must Download 8:42. The play here is relentless. Watch and learn.

And now for the rest of tonight's show...

By far the most fiercely fought map this time was hc. However, one person came barging through to take all four records for total ownage.

• Right after the last update Arturo Garcia Lasca sent in this blistering 0:44, four seconds faster than Oldrich. And that was pretty much the end of the Easy Run, but that didn't stop demos flooding in from Jonny (0:47), Fern (0:46), Amrik (0:45) and finally Alex who equalled the 0:44 but far too late.
• The competition for the Nightmare Run was even hotter.
  • First to submit was Oldrich Vohradnik who got things started with this 0:53.
  • Fern improved that by two seconds, 0:51. Then another second, 0:50. Then another second, 0:49. During this time Oldrich and Jonny were trying to get back in on the action but their times just kept being beaten.
  • And finally Ken put a stop to it all with this 0:47, several hours before Alex once again sent in the same time.
• And while he was on a roll Arturo filled the empty 100% slots.
  • He did the Easy 100% in 1:01.
  • And the Nightmare 100% in 1:36.

Arturo also filled the empty slots in the dnspq1 table.

• He did a very impressive Easy 100% in 0:37. Too good to be called a table filler.
• And the Nightmare 100% in 1:02. Table filler. ;-)

Which brings us on to jjspq1.

• Now, last time I said that all the improvements were six seconds and wondered if someone was going to do a 1:06. A big thankyou to everyone that has pointed out that in fact it was an eight second improvement followed by a four second one. There were so many demos I got confused!! What I probably should have said was that the average improvement was six seconds. And just to keep the theme going Jozsef did indeed do a 1:06.
• But then he ruined it all by sending in this rather good 1:04. Grrrrr
• Thomas Bergendorff decided to do a massive improvement on Ander's Nightmare Run, but in the end all he could manage was this 1:18, one second faster.

Marlo Galinski has improved his own jjspq2 Easy 100% by four seconds to get 1:32. There is a fifteen second section just after he gets the armour that is pure vintage Marlo. Non-stop nails into a whole load of grunts and enforcers and I don't think a single nail is wasted. :-) Then he gets the SSG and starts shooting walls and stuff, but the nailgun bit rocks!

Only one demo on prison this time but it's a beauty. Basil de Vries has improved Carl's Nightmare Run by one second to get 0:27. Damn, Basil. I'm impressed!

I decided to improve my Nightmare 100% on n3sp03 because my previous one was not particularly good. So I did this 7:35, 75 seconds faster which is much better.

And now, The c00pz. Not too many comments about them I'm afraid because I actually fell asleep 10 minutes ago and am typing on auto-pilot. :-)

Anders and Martin did a good amount of quality coops.

• First, they have done what looks to be a couple of optimum runs on evilpool, getting 0:06 (0:07) for the Easy Run and 0:06 (0:07) for the Nightmare Run.
• They also did the Easy Run of hc in 0:33 (0:44) using a nifty SSG boost to the secret.
• And finally they did the Easy 100% of altus2 in 0:27 (030).

And finally for tonight, the man voted "Most likely to father 1000 bastard offspring", Carl Tholin and the man voted "Most likely to eat Carl's bastard offspring", Daniel Andersson have done the Easy Run of czg03 in 0:48 (1:02).

Peace.

Friday, January 4th by Morfans

Me and Stubby against Seagal and Van Damme? We'd kick their arses! - 4:49 PM

Jeeeeeesus what a week. I'm afraid I haven't even got time to include all the demos in this update. This will just be all the Single Player demos on the new maps and will probably be quite a short update. (Short for one of my updates, anyway). The coops and the two mouth-watering Id improvements will have to wait until the weekend. (Unless someone else posts them first :-)). And a big, big CHEERS to Mr Thomas Stubgaard for sorting out the demo uploading and updating the tables while I'm writing this. Truly he is the Viking Angel. :-) And now, on to more serious news...

This is indeed a sad day for SDA. It has been brought to our attention that the Easy 100% demo on hc that was submitted by Ilkka Kurkela is in fact an illegal demo. Does this mean that Ilkka is a filthy, cheating wh0re? Will Stubby and myself need to take our baseball bats to Finland and teach him what happens to people that try to sully The Archive? Well, no. It was just due to the fact that he did the demo over two years ago and Marlo added three more monsters before releasing the map to us. A genuine mistake but sorry, Ilks, the demo's got to go.

But that's not all for this map today. Oldrich Vohradnik has got his name on the tables for the first time with this 0:52 Easy Run. He then quickly improved it to 0:50 and then finally to 0:48. Not bad for a new boy. ;-)

We finally have some demos on jjspq1!

• Leading the way into the Easy Run we once again have Oldrich. He got things started with this 1:24.
• It was only minutes later that Thomas Bergendorff pitched in with this 1:16 six second improvement. (Morfans can't subtract: it was 8 seconds)
• But six second improvements seem to be the norm for this run as BlacK_OuT won the day with this 1:12. (4 seconds) Who's going to do the 1:06?
• Honourable mentions to Anders Nordensten and Rutger Baks who's demos arrived far, far too late to make it on to the tables.
• Anders has done a whole stack of really rather cool demos for this update. Starting with this 1:19 Nightmare Run.

Things have been just as busy on jjspq2.

• We received three demos for the Easy Run but the first one was the best. Thomas B discovered the slope jump shortcut at the end and produced this 0:49. Bad luck to BlacK_OuT and Anders who floundered in his wake.
• "Ice" Bergendorff also did the Nightmare Run in the same time. 0:49.
• Marlo and Anders both submitted Easy 100% demos, but Marlo's 1:36 quite frankly pissed all over Anders's effort.
• But Anders was the king of the Nightmare 100% with this 1:49.

After the initial mad rush on spring2 things have slowed down. We only received three demos but they are from three of the top players in SDA history!

• Jozsef Szalontai has done the Nightmare Run in the same time as his Easy Run with an even more spectacular double grenade jump. 0:05. Valeriy Burmistrov sent in an equally impressive demo but two days too late.
• It seems that people had trouble opening Basils Nightmare 100% demo. So just to help you all to avoid the stress of not being able to see a Nightmare 100% on this fine map I did a little improvement. 1:23, 50 (hee hee) seconds faster.

Okay, I was joking. Only two of those are actually great players. Joe sucks at Quake. :-P

After a slightly slow start prison has turned out to be the most hotly contested map of this update, mostly because people keep finding new ways to get around and over the buildings.

• Carl Tholin has taken a second off of Thomas's Easy Run with a very cool route. 0:27.
• Amrik Kochhar has improved his table filler Nightmare Run demo by four seconds to get 0:32.
• Thomas improved that by another second to get 0:31.
• But nothing was going to prevent Carl, The Unstopable Love Machine from owning both runs on this level. 0:28.
• Dan Stukanev also sent in a Nightmare run but it was later than Thomas's and slower than Carl's.
• The first Easy 100% on this strange little map was this 1:06 from BlacK_OuT.
• But a different route allowed Anders to improve this by ten seconds to 0:56.
• Then Anders used the same route to do the Nightmare 100% in 0:57. This looks like a faster run than the Easy 100% but a couple of slight mistakes drag it back to one second slower...

And finally, Anders continues to go mad on the excellent n3sp03.

• He did the Easy Run in 1:28, four seconds faster than Kimmo and equal to the 2P coop time.
• Then he filled the gap for the Easy 100% with this 6:22. I was a little confused about his tactic of getting all the way to the exit and then dropping down and going to get the last secret. "Surely," I thought, "That's a pile of crap!"
• And sure enough he did an all together better demo a couple of days later. 5:21, 61 seconds faster.

That's yer lot for today. My new PC is finally unpacked! Abi, my wife, got so fed up of the box being in the middle of the floor that she unpacked it and set it up while I was out. I still haven't turned it on yet, though.

Tuesday, January 1st by Stubby

First ever SDA Update... - 7:20 PM

...Of 2002, that is :) One year has passed, and we welcome the new year with much anticipation. Several QdQ projects should be finished in 2002, and the speedrunning scene has never been as exciting as it is now, at least in my opinion.

For those of you interrested in DOOM speedrunning, I can reveal that there is a gigantic update up at Compet-N. It contains over 200 demos and there's a new speedrunning contest as well!

Ingmar's Ill Mind Moves has been updated with two new versions of his Quake redone Quick for both Linux and Amiga, plus there's a Windows 2000 patch available.

The Quake done Quick site has been updated with an AVI version of Quake done Quick with a Vengeance. Warning!! The download is 165MB!

I hope you all had a fun New Years Eve. Let's all make 2002 a year to remember!